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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To find breastfeeding a 2 yr and 3 month old unsettling and slightly repulsive?

326 replies

Thinkingpositively · 31/05/2013 23:23

I am guessing this thread might upset some people but really...? DH and i were shocked to learn someone we know is breastfeeding a child who can walk and speak and self determine...dh wouldn't discuss it over lunch...

OP posts:
KristinaM · 01/06/2013 21:34

Sparkly, if you were indeed involved in such a custody case then you have no right to be posting identifiable details about in on the Internet. It's a breach of confidentiality. I suggest you contact mumsnet immediately and have your post removed

k2togm1 · 01/06/2013 21:51

I know there are lots of 2.3 yos around, but I got the feeling from your post you were talking about me!!Smile
If so, would you make yourself known in rl so I can show you? It's just like bfing a newborn, just slightly larger (and easier as your nipples are tough as leather Grin)
Lets share a Biscuit

quietlysuggests · 01/06/2013 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Willdoitinaminute · 01/06/2013 22:02

LaLa -what a load of bollocks!

LaLaGordon · 01/06/2013 22:03

Right quietly, but if your husband came home early from work and saw, er, the postman sucking your breasts which he was supposed to have exclusive rights to, he might be angry, but would he be repulsed?

LaLaGordon · 01/06/2013 22:05

I feel like you missed something, Willdo. Wink

Willdoitinaminute · 01/06/2013 22:09

Sorry LaLa missed a page of the thread. Blush

MrsRickyMartin · 01/06/2013 22:50

I was breastfed until I was 2 years and 8 months. I enjoyed having my mum going to the nursery on my lunch break and helping myself to my mother's milk. I don't remember the taste, but it must have been good for me because I am a healthy woman now. Get over it.

Wahla · 01/06/2013 23:34

Ah OP, you are, at present, Perfect Parents. This is the stage, shortly before you actually have children, when you know it all . Enjoy. These are halcyon days when childrearing is just so bloody simple and obvious.

To be fair, in my early twenties I saw a picture of a women bfing a toddler and was shocked by it. I had never heard of or seen anybody do it and had, ignorantly, thought that you could only feed up to a year. Seems like a ludicrous assumption now but there you are. If someone would have told me that I would feed 3 of my 4 children well into their second year (might end up longer for DD, she's only 4 months at present), I would have heartily laughed in their face. I never actively decided to bf into toddlerhood but it just sort of evolved and it's one of those things that makes no sense from the outside but makes absolute sense on the 'inside'.

It's an amazing way to nurture, protect and reconnect with a toddler/child. Don't knock it till you've tried it.

WoTmania · 01/06/2013 23:36

YABcompletelyandudderly(

HarrySnotter · 02/06/2013 07:07

I fed both of mine until they were about 20 months. I honestly had no idea that people may have thought I was weird.

I feel a bit sorry for the OP, she obviously has no idea about the subject and she and her husband will be in for lots of shocks when their baby comes along. OP I think we all do what gets you through, babies haven't read the same books as we have and may have other ideas than you have so just go with what feels right for you, expect other people to find some of your parenting choices odd and don't judge others for doing things differently to you, then you'll be fine.

lucindapie · 02/06/2013 07:27

Yabu

But it's great that you are opening your eyes and realizing that some of your views may just be social conditioning.

In reality many women breast feed for longer and that is totally natural

Society can sometimes be pretty repulsive but feeding babies and toddlers in the way nature intended is definetly not ! My dd is 20 months and a pretty fussy eater. Im relieved to still breast feed her twice a day as it provides her with lots of vitamins and minerals.

Booboostoo · 02/06/2013 08:51

chocolatemartini I have to bf Lamizees, Clifford the Big Red Dog and Baby before DD will consent to get out of bed in the morning! Funnily enough she is not keen on bfing them herself, apparently it is alternatively funny and mildly annoying for someone to constantly pull at your shirt so they can bf! Wink

OxfordBags · 02/06/2013 09:45

Yes, I also have to BF many things throughout the day too. Not just toys, but anything my DS thinks needs a little TLC; the phone, a whisk, DH's guitar, my toothbrush...

He also sings or hums all day long at the moment. Let me tell you, you can get some superb acoustics from humming whilst breastfeeding. I also like the way he tries to put his foot on my shoulder whilst he nurses standing up.

And he is not down to a couple of times a day, either: he spends the first hour or more of the morning finishing his sleep on the breast, I Bf him to sleep and for his nap, whenever he has a mishap or meltdown, and, if we are at home, he wants to nurse very frequently still.

Are we repulsing you yet, OP? Only these are some of the funniest and sweetest things in a nursing mother's daily life.

chocolatemartini · 02/06/2013 11:33

oxford and booboo glad I'm not alone Grin in bf random objects/ toys. I do wonder why most of my friends wanted to give up at 12 months or less, they only got to do the hard part. Bfing toddlers is incredibly sweet and funny and amazing for calming tantrums and making them sleepy.

jellybeans · 02/06/2013 13:38

YABU and ignorant allowing yourself to be brainwashed by sexualisation of the breast culture. Extended bf is totally normal. Many cultures do not have breast obsessions and laugh at Western men/the gutter press being like 'babies' being obsessed with naked women/breasts etc. Bf is biological. I only bf till 11 mos at DS self weaned but I would have gone on as long as I felt able. I have several friends who were bf till 4/5 in front of me and it didn't bother me at all. I feel a bit sorry for people who miss out of bf though because they feel it is 'disgusting' or 'my boobs are for DH' etc. I would hate to be that shallow/brainwashed. NOT talking about people who cannot bf there or who have been through abuse etc, just the many I know who say 'tits are for men' in not so many words.

Oscalito · 02/06/2013 14:05

Oh you don't have children yet OP? Well, it will be great when you do, we can all just sit back and learn so much from you.

Haven't bothered to read the whole post. My DS is 2 years 6 months and still BF a little most days.... I did wean him cold turkey but he wasn't ready, so I reintroduced it a month or so later and really it's just a bit of comfort at the end of the day or sometimes to get him back to sleep in the early morning. I didn't think I would be breastfeeding this long, but I didn't know what kind of child I'd end up with either - it calms him down and gives him comfort and there's nothing more to it than that.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 02/06/2013 14:48

I'm looking forward to BF-ing random objects. At the moment DS is going through a phase of getting up on all fours, growling and shaking it around like a dog with a chew-toy. Grin

formicadinosaur · 02/06/2013 14:52

The world health organisation recommend BFing for 2 years. In lots of places long term BFing is the norm

somewheresomehow · 02/06/2013 14:58

i think its weird and not normal at all, i could only feed one of mine and that was only till he bit me
two year olds dont need breast milk

LakeFlyPie · 02/06/2013 15:01

I bf my 5 yo and 2.6 yo, can we come for lunch you loon Grin

miffybun73 · 02/06/2013 15:06

I find it strange too. I BF my DS until he was 14 months old, I just couldn't have imagined doing it for any longer or indeed BFing a child who can walk and talk fluently and drink milk from a cup.

However YABU for saying it's repulsive. If other people want to do it fine, but it just wouldn't seem right for me.

5madthings · 02/06/2013 15:19

Its perfectly normal, toddlers should have about 12oz of milk a day, it makes sense for that to be human milk. Breast milk provides antibodies which are good for the still developing immune system as well as fat, calories and various vitamins etc.

Children have milk teeth for a reason and they are designed to bfeed whilst they still have milk teeth. Most will naturally wean between 2-4 yrs.

It may not be common in the UK but it is entirely normal and its a sign of cultural conditioning and hang ups that its seen as odd or weird/repulsive etc.

Jinsei · 02/06/2013 15:35

i think its weird and not normal at all, i could only feed one of mine and that was only till he bit me
two year olds dont need breast milk

Why do you think it's weird, somewhere? Weird in what way?

FWIW, there are lots of things that two year olds don't need - teddy bears, banana sandwiches and cows milk to name but a few. However, lots of parents choose to provide these things (and many more unnecessary items) because of the comfort and/or nutritional benefits they can offer. Breastfeeding has the advantage of offering both comfort and nutritional benefits all at once. No 2yo actually needs it, indeed, but I can't see any reason why it should not be offered if the child wants it.

5madthings · 02/06/2013 15:40

I think that the comfort a toddler gwys from bfeeding is a 'need' actually, in the same way my 28mth old has a cuddle in bed with her dummy and we snuggle down together as she goes to asleep. My elder boys did the same but with the breast or as thumb (ds4) and it was very much a 'need' that they grew out of.

But I firmly believe that these comfoirts of breast, dummy, thumb sucking, cuddly toys and blankets etc are all totally normal and age appropriate and that children grow out if them, just like co'sleeping etc :)