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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be jealous of my younger sister's boobs

114 replies

frogspoon · 31/05/2013 09:50

Younger sis and I are both in our 20s, no kids yet.

Younger sis got her boobs measured again the other day. Every time she gets measured, she seems to get bigger. She is now a 30DD/E.

I have been a 32B for the last 10 years (I do get measured every couple of years in hope I will have got bigger), and doubt I will get any bigger, at least until I have kids. I don't really want plastic surgery and I already wear padded bras.

To top it all off, she is also an inch taller than me.

AIBU to be jealous of her. (I probably am, as she has a higher risk of back problems etc)

OP posts:

Umlauf · 31/05/2013 12:25

I'm pregnant and have already gone from a 28g to a 32hh. I feel disgusting, uncomfortable, nothing fits, people think its fine to comment and stare, can't buy nice lingerie or swimwear...

And lucky me, I look trashy and have nothing but the sag to look forward to.

When I was 13 I tried to cut one off with a kitchen knife and still have a nasty scar.

Yabu and bloody ridiculous. Horrid thread.

Whatdoiknowanyway · 31/05/2013 13:33

There is a rigby and peller in Westfield - well in the White City one anyway.

harryhausen · 31/05/2013 14:00

Omg Don do you say this stuff out loud in RL?

Like someone else said further up - we get the boobs we're given. Do you think that anyone over a D cup is siliconed up?

Trashy? Fuck me.

ubik · 31/05/2013 14:06

Can I just say the I have 32E boobs and am nearly 40, have breast fed 3 children, and they are not 'round my knees' they are actually still rather perky.

Original poster

frogspoon · 31/05/2013 16:47

When I was 13 I tried to cut one off with a kitchen knife and still have a nasty scar.

And people call me shallow? At least I'm not insecure enough to give myself homemade plastic surgery!

OP posts:

LadyBeagleEyes · 31/05/2013 16:50

Well, actually frogspoon, that last post makes you look even more shallow and totally lacking empathy.
Any 13 year old self harming like that is not shallow.

mrscumberbatch · 31/05/2013 16:58

I have large but still perky boobs. I hate them.

I've actually just inadvertantly posted in S&B about trying to find swimwear and how bloody horrible it is when I spotted this thread.

And there's so many berks on this thread that I'm just going to hide it. Stupid stupid people.

AnyFucker · 31/05/2013 17:13

frog..you are actually a bit of a cow, aren't you ?

do you have many friends ?

Original poster

frogspoon · 31/05/2013 17:37

I find it extremely hard to find any empathy for anyone who implies that a little sibling envy is shallow, and yet self mutilation is fine. In the same way that you all seem to imply that whilst wanting a reduction (as one or two of you may have) and yet wanting to be bigger is not.

Take a walk in someone else's shoes for a change, and you'll see that having small breasts is horrible. Yes we don't have guys leering or poking or making crude comments. Instead we are ignored or treated like children for not having a womanly figure you all share. Be grateful that when you look in the mirror you like the body that stares back at you. I wish I had one.

OP posts:

LadyBeagleEyes · 31/05/2013 17:43

I've always had small breasts, I've never been ignored or treated like a child because I didn't have a womanly figure.
Actually, I have one reconstructed breast now, they don't match, but I really don't give a shit.

StatisticallyChallenged · 31/05/2013 17:47

The thing is frogspoon, many women with larger breasts don't like what they see in the mirror either. Take a look at some of the bra fitting threads - they are filled with women who have been told they are impossible to fit, that their breasts are freakish, they need to go to a specialist shop, laughed at, stuck in bras which physically cause them massive pain.

Small breasted women can be treated like children, large breasted woman can be treated like tarts, or told we are deluded or they must be fake...

I don't think feeling envy is necessarily shallow - I think it's a result of a constant bombardment of "this is how you should look" which women face day in, day out. But whilst you might see the curvier images (or women like your sister) and think "that's how I should look", the bustier girls are seeing images of slim, small boobed women and thinking the same.

Self harm however is a very different ball game and please don't judge people for it. I have a good friend who is covered with scars as a result - it came from a very deep seated, unhappy place far beyond simply envying others.

thebody · 31/05/2013 17:52

I feel a bit sorry for your sister to be honest!

She must feel the waves of envy.

You need to get on with your life.

AnyFucker · 31/05/2013 17:59

Give over, frog

I have relatively smallish boobs

I have never been treated like a child because of it

I think it's your personality that is somewhat lacking here, not your cup size

waterlego6064 · 31/05/2013 18:08

The only time I have ever been teased or picked on or made to feel inadequate for my small boobs was when I was at school. Yes, it really hurt my feelings at the time, but 14 year-old boys being what they are, the girls with large chests got just as much flack.

As an adult, no-one has ever said or implied anything unkind about my boobs. Not within earshot, at least.

RollerCola · 31/05/2013 18:12

You can measure your own boobs you know frog. There's loads of posts on here about it, and the vast majority of mumsnetters who have worn a or b cups for years and years (because M&S/la Senza measured them such) are finding that they are actually wearing the wrong size and should be in a c or d or even bigger.

Bra sizing has changed a lot, but high street stores haven't caught on yet so are still measuring people using an old system where they add 4 inches to their under-boob measurement. You don't need to do this any more.

Measure under your boobs. This is your bra band size. DON'T add 4 inches. Then measure the fullest part of your boobs whilst leaning forward and letting them hang down. Take the difference between the two - if it's the same you're an AA, 1" = A, 2" =B etc.

You may not be the 32B you think you are.

Original poster

frogspoon · 31/05/2013 18:18

I think statistically challenged has summed it up very well. It is clear that many women, of all shapes and sizes may be unhappy with their bodies. Too tall, too short, too fat, too thin, too big boobs, too small boobs.

But rather than making snide nasty comments to each other, we should be supporting each other as women and fighting against others who aim to define us by our size.

I am genuinely sorry if I offended any of you, I hope you can understand that it is simply my insecurity and unhappiness with my own body shape, than trying to offend you.

Yes I am unhappy with my body shape, I probably always will be. And I will also probably always be a bit jealous of my sister's shape, it is the shape I would like to be and unfortunately I got blessed with the wrong genes. And I will live with it and accept it but I will never be happy with it.

OP posts:

StatisticallyChallenged · 31/05/2013 18:20

BTW frogspoon, if you want to check if your sizing is right but don't want to post up (it's been a bumpy thread so would understand that!) feel free to PM me and I will try to help.

RollerCola · 31/05/2013 18:23

If La Senza or wherever have previously measured you using the 'add 4 inches' method (are you quite slim?, like about a size 8?) then I'd guess that their 32 band would mean your actual chest measurement is more like 28inches? (just guessing now)

So for them to put you in a 32B would mean (using the OLD system) that you probably have a difference of a good 5-6 inches between chest and bust measurements (again just wildly guessing again until you can confirm with real measurements)

So under the NEW system by my reckoning this would make you more like a 28DD/E.

Go on give it a try. Report back when you've measured yourself. Then we'll tell you your PROPER bra size. Then you can go out and buy one and be amazed like we all were.

Off you go!

waterlego6064 · 31/05/2013 18:25

Frogspoon Don't despair, you have plenty of years left in which to gain a greater respect for your body. I'm sure most of us have had insecurities about aspects of our physical appearance at some point. I have found that getting older has really helped give me some perspective on how important my appearance is (ie, not very). When you are and your sister are old women, none of it will matter at all. We get the bodies we get and, short of cosmetic surgery, there's little we can do about it.

RollerCola · 31/05/2013 18:26

Sorry frog, didn't mean to be flippant then, but honestly give it a go. The shops are rubbish and are fitting women in the wrong sized bras all over the place.

badguider · 31/05/2013 18:30

Dresses on the high street are NOT made for women with 34DD chests. I know, I have one (a 34DD chest that is) and it doesn't fit in most dresses which fit my size 12 waist and hips... casual dresses are ok as i can put a vest underneath but in most smart dresses i look like a cheap prostitute/stripper.
Same for shirts - always have to buy them so baggy round the waist to fit my boobs in :(

Fakebook · 31/05/2013 18:31

Are you one of the kardashian sisters?

headinhands · 31/05/2013 18:32

Please can we stop worrying about the size of our tits. We're just buying into the media's 'big tits=upferrit'' line. (In some cultures small tits are where it's at.) It's like a knobbly knees competition gone mad.

nothingbyhalves · 31/05/2013 18:49

When I hit 30 I went from 34 b to a 32 d! After bf stayed same size. There is hope!

Sallystyle · 31/05/2013 19:03

As an A cup I am jealous of yours, OP.

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