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To forbid second piercing?

87 replies

mamaliv · 30/05/2013 14:13

I can't believe I'm even posting about this as I feel so strongly against it, I just have to share my frustration! DD1, who's 12, has her heart set on getting second piercings on her ears (just behind the regular place, which she had done about a year ago). I think she's absolutely too young, and would prefer her never to get them done, but want her to wait until she's at least 16 before deciding. I know she's a good girl and would never get it done without my permission, but DH is being frustratingly vague and told her it's her decision. It is not her decision!! (or is it...?). It sounds superficial but I know that people do judge on appearances, and second piercings just do not look professional. And she's way too young!

OP posts:
jellybeans · 30/05/2013 15:15

It wouldn't bother me. It would for stretching etc though or tattoos. But YANBU to stick by your rules.

teenagetantrums · 30/05/2013 15:17

My daughter just got a second on at 17 and she has a tunnel thing which I hate, but her body so not much I can say at this age, I don't see the harm if she really wants it, maybe ask her to wait for six months and see if she wants it then.

LayMeDown · 30/05/2013 15:19

I really wouldn't give a flying fuck about this. I had my ears pierced three times by my mid teens. I am an accountant so very 'professional'. Just take the earrings out for work who's going to notice. I rarely wear more than one now and I doubt most people even realise I have more piercings.
Also would have no issue with a belly button piercing at 14. What's sexual about a stomach? Once a girl has a good attitude to herself and her body, she could just want the piercing for herself.

Lurkymclurker · 30/05/2013 15:27

I join the pick your battles crew.

At 11 I had no piercings, by 13 I had 3 in each ear, two sets were done in my room with a needle and ice and after some creative hair styling (for the first few weeks) and evasion techniques (out the door earrings in, before curfew earrings out) my parents didn't know until I was 15 and that was because I used them in argument to prove my responsibility (I know I know)

But my parents were not the nicest or most attentive so I would expect most parents would know.

Anyways, earrings are not a big deal, holes are tiny and can heal over, you can choose to wear earrings or not and I think they are socially acceptable now.

Can you set some boundaries? She has to save to pay herself? Can't be done until school hols to allow healing as she will presumably have to take them out to do PE? Is the only piercing/mod including hair dye for 12 months?

I think that at her age it could also be a test for you to see what she can get away with, maybe she is following the crowd but unless you can find a valid reason to her then it might not wash and you may need to keep and eye on your sewing kit!!!

bigTillyMint · 30/05/2013 15:35

DD had her ears pierced at the end of Y6(11). She had second piercings done at Christmas this year - Y9 (13) - I decided to choose my battles. They aren't really that noticeable as she only usually wears studs in both. It doesn't seem to be a problem with the school as loads of the girls have them.

She is now angling for cartilage piercings, but we have said no (at least for the time being!) I just hope she doesn't get a friend to do it with a needle like so many do.

blueemerald · 30/05/2013 15:38

18? 18?! Are you serious? So you won't pierce the ears of someone who can get married, have sex (and therefore have a child), learn to drive, join the army etc completely legally? Even though it's not against the law? What are the ethical and moral issues around piercing a 11-15 year old's ears with parental permission or a 16-17 year old?

Claire's is shit but not because they pierce 11-17 year olds' ears....

thebody · 30/05/2013 15:39

Holly, she is 14 therefore under age so of course she cannot consent to sex. If a 25 year old man ' hooked' up with her I wouldn't fancy his chances against her dad and 2 built like shit house brothers.

My point is that to put your head in the sand and regard some not all but some 14 year olds as just children does them no service.

Hopefully my dd won't make such mistakes as she has me and her family involved and interested and listening to her.

Sex at 14 is illegal and belly button piercings are not.

StuntGirl · 30/05/2013 15:43

I would hope so too. A piercing not done in a professional environment is more susceptible to infection, which can cause the cartilage to collapse.

These risks are rare by the way, but those risks increase if the piercing is not performed or cared for properly, and can cause permanent damage.

It amazes me that people would so blithely undergo these procedures without knowing the associated risks and how to deal with these problems should they arise.

Remotecontrolduck · 30/05/2013 15:43

It's an earring, in her ear lobe. She's 12. It's fine I think. It is JUST an earring. Pick your battles. Stand firm on things that are difficult to sort out, like a dodgy dye job or a tattoo.

As for 'professional', what if she doesn't want a 'professional' job in the future? Even if she does, she can take the earring out, either permanently or until she's finished work. In fact, many professionals have several piercings and it doesn't matter.

thebody · 30/05/2013 15:44

Stunt, you are seriously saying a whole chain store is 'shit' and you think noone should have a piercing under 18.

That's a bit ott.

Is it fashionable to trash Claire's? dd had her ears pierced there and I thought they were great.

thebody · 30/05/2013 15:45

Also why do you assume everyone is less informed or careful than you??

Neverending2012 · 30/05/2013 15:47

If its being seen to be 'professional' whatever that might mean you are worried about - go for the belly button option- it's easily hidden from view.

Upallnighttogetmilky · 30/05/2013 15:50

I wanted my ears pierced when I was 14 and my mum forbade it until I was 16. I went out and got my belly button pierced instead. Fifteen years and one baby later, I hate the hole that won't heal over.

So yes, pick your battles. I'd allow the second piercing as long as she pays for it herself; looks after it herself and gets it done somewhere reputable, with a needle.
As Stunt says, I wouldn't go anywhere near Claire's. Insist she gets it done at a proper piercing place - it'll be slightly more expensive, but maybe that may also put her off?!

TheBigJessie · 30/05/2013 15:52

it is absolutely not ott, to"trash" claire's accessories as a shit place to get your ears pierced.

It's just knowledgeable. How much training do those 17 year old assistants get, thebody? Do you know? Answer: practically none.

livinginwonderland · 30/05/2013 15:56

thebody Claire's don't have a great reputation, really. Lots of people go there because they're cheap and their daughters shop there and see the signs and pester! It's not about it being "fashionable" to trash them - the girls who pierce ears there get about 30-60 mins training and that's it.

Yes, for a lot of people it's fine, and the piercings heal without a problem, but the guns aren't sterilised and the more common view now is that it should be needles only for piercings as guns "shock" the piercing and often cause problems, esp. in cartilage piercings.

StuntGirl · 30/05/2013 15:56

The staff have minimal training before being allowed to work on actual people, use second rate equipment, do not undergo extensive training and offer unsatisfactory after care advice in order to sell additional (unnecessary) products.

A professional piercing studio will, in lieu of a nationally recognised training scheme, offer extensive training to apprentice piercers (lasting years, rather than weeks), this will include training on blood borne pathogens, cross contamination, first aid, anatomy and health and safety, they use single use equipment, pierce with top grade materials and adhere to hospital grade sterilisation and heath and safety procedures.

I know which one I'd rather choose.

thebody · 30/05/2013 15:58

The lady who pierced my dds ears was most definatly not 17.

Ffs its very commen for kids to pierce each other in bedrooms, in the 80s all the Irish girls I knew at school had their ears pierced at home with a hot potato and a needle.

Most Asian babies don't go to Claire's.

Claire's used sterile equipment and gloves and took ages marking the area and cleansing it. The after care advice was fine.

What a bloody fuss here. Still laughing at stunt wanting to ban piercings for under 18.

Remotecontrolduck · 30/05/2013 15:58

Clare's isn't the best place to get pierced, but I have never seen a piercing place, tattoo shop, that would not pierce an under 18. Every single one has been 16 without consent, a couple of more extreme piercings only 18+ though.

StuntGirl are you in the UK? Because every single piercing place and tattoo parlour I've EVER seen will pierce the ears of a 16 year old, or below with consent. They're ALL wrong are they?

TheBigJessie · 30/05/2013 15:58

But, StuntGirl Claire's pierce your ears free if you buy some earrings! Surely they're better?

livinginwonderland · 30/05/2013 16:01

Claire's equipment is NOT sterile! The earrings are, and yes, they use fresh gloves each time, but the guns aren't sterilised properly because it's VERY hard to sterilise a piercing gun.

Tattoo parlours use sterile, fresh needles for each piercing they do and recommend good, old-fashionned saltwater for aftercare, not the awful chemical stuff that Claires offer.

Dannilion · 30/05/2013 16:04

I wanted more ear piercings when I was your daughters age. My mother forbade it. I got my nipple pierced instead as a form of rebellion at 13. It never healed and was incredibly painful for the 3 years I kept it in to have one up on her (in my head at least!). I was a 'good girl who would never go behind her mums back' too Wink

Pick your battles.

littlediamond33 · 30/05/2013 16:07

i first had my ears pierced at 7.i went behind my parents back and had a total of three in each ear.i now wear earrings in the 1st holes only.the other holes HAVE closed up,so not a problem.just remember that in the future she does not have to wear earrings in all her piercings.

MotherofDragons82 · 30/05/2013 16:10

Speaking as someone who has had everything pierced - and I mean everything - I think you should pick your battles here.

The main reason I started on my piercing odyssey was because my mother banned me from getting my ears pierced at age 12, so I got my bellybutton done instead.
From there it was but a short step to my nose, and then to everything else once I left home at 18.

I've taken them all out now, aside from my ears, but my bellybutton and lip never healed. As a result I have quite unsightly holes, which bother me - especially the one in my lip.

A second hole in her ear is nothing. Like others have said, pick your battles. Just make sure she pays for it herself and gets it done with a needle, at a reputable place - NOT Claire's or similar!

Despite what the likes of thebody are saying, Claire's does not properly sterilise its equipment, and the sales staff don't have adequate training. Furthermore, there's far more chance of causing damage with a gun than there is with a needle.

StuntGirl · 30/05/2013 16:14

"Ffs its very commen for kids to pierce each other in bedrooms" It's also very stupid Grin I imagine the after care advice involved buying a product off them, yes?

jessie Mmmm, low quality metal in my freshly pierced holes, nice!

TheBigJessie · 30/05/2013 16:19

StuntGirl says everything about them doesn't it? The money is made on jewellery, not piercing. I'd want to go to somewhere where the piercing was a proper part of the business, not something that propped up their jewellery sales...

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