To tell you all to appreciate half term with your kids, as long as they still need you and want you for their half term activities.

[QuintessentialOldDear]

My sons are now 7 and 11 (soon 8)

They both wanted skateboarding camp for half term.

Granted we went away for some of the bank holiday weekend and did a couple of good hikes and "quality time".

All I am required to do now is drive them to and from camp, and make lunch packs.

Great. I can continue to work. I dont have to take time off. Fantastic.

But, no more trips to the park and playground where I get to enjoy a latte watching them play. No more looking at birds together in the Wetland Center, or marvel together at the beauties of Flowers in the botanic gardens.

They want their own fun, and it does not involve me.

It happened so quick.

Next I will moan that they have flown the nest.

DS (9) still climbs into my bed every morning, and gabs on about Minecraft, sings songs, whatever is on his mind. I want to hold him there and never ever let him go.

DD (11) acts like she can't wait to leave home (although I know she would crumble if she didn't have our approval, her feisty front is just a front). She doesn't like me to show affection, and of course she can take us for granted, we will always be there, but what can I do to make sure the bonds are still there? I love her so much, but what if it gets too late to tell her?

it is sad when the kids get older and dont want us around as much, except for lifts and money..but its just the next stage of it all. my mum died recently and I dont even have her to go to now. its awful.

but what can we do.

Oh yes Triumph

What can't I do in public?
Laugh
Talk
Show any recognition of dd2
Look like anything (look good, tidy etc; are included in this)
Smile
Breathe
Eat
EXIST.

When we went to pick up DS1's friend at drop them in town Ds1 told me not to speak.

Oh this is making me so happy that mine are still little (4 and 1) and so that they won't be so little forever.

I absolutely love spending time with them and I hope and pray daily that they'll still want to go for days out when they are teenagers.

Mine are 16 and 12 and they are arses sometimes, but we had a lovely day at the beach on Sunday and played cricket and tig and did surfing and everyone was happy. There are moments, you just have to cherish them. I do still feel sad the baby and little girl days are done though.

On Sunday we watched the steam trains on the Met line and had fun waving at the drivers.
Yesterday we went down to Greenwich, had some lunch, went on the cable car across the Thames then took the DLR (so we could pretend we were driving) to Stratford and wandered round Westfield looking for a graduation dress for DD1.

They're 21 and 19. They still like going out and about with me and with their dad.

Yes, they do lots of independent things but even hundreds of miles away at university they're in constant contact - for advice on modules, for help writing cvs, for proof reading support on essays and dissertations but mostly just for a chat.

We have more free time as a couple but we go out more, see our friends, go to the theatre... We had fun before they were born, we have fun now.

Someone earlier mentioned roots and wings. My girls are beautiful, bright and independent, just about to soar but I still get my hugs and they still enjoy being with us.

Don't get hung up on one phase of childhood passing. We've enjoyed every phase and each new one has something good you never expected.

It could be worse, I've just finished snuggling up on the sofa with 21 year old DD watching NCIS on my laptop sharing a pair of headphone and squealing at how lovely Gibbs is. I couldn't imagine doing that with her aged 10.
DS aged 19 tells me he loves me at the end of phone calls, he never did that at aged 10. and I even get the odd unsolicited hug from DS who is 16.
It's not worse, it's just different.

There must be something in the air, I have been feeling nostalgic and sad all day!

My dd is nearly 12 and still loves being read to at night, think I will make more of an effort, we often say we are too tired. It just feels like time is passing so quickly, whereas when they were babies and toddlers the crying, sleepless nights seemed to go on forever.

Ds never wants to grow up, he loves being young and feeling safe with us around - growing up scares him as does change (I think that his autism is to blame).

honestly. i have really been suffering recently with this change.
i think its dd's age and real independence combined with my age. 11 and i am 44.
i have been really down, like its this shift of life or crossroads i/we are upon.
single mum too so feeling a tad lonely.
right more laughs tomorrow. we have had a lovely week so far and enjoyed being together.

Let's hope neither of yours wants to become a war correspondent Quint and has alredy joined the TA to achieve his aim. Casts a whole new light on talking careers.

My two boys are nearly 14 and 15. They often go out with friends to play sports etc but thankfully still happy to go out walking the dog - athough shopping trips tend to be limited to a quick dash into Game or Topman - being in town with mum isn't too cool!
Today we are going by train to London to visit the new London Dungeon - their choice . I do think you need to still make plans with them or its easy just become glorified taxi drivers/financiers.
I miss the days when they loved going to parks, farms etc but nowadays its just different - having a civilised meal when you're out is just one advantage Of course they'll complain if we walk too far or the queues too long but generally I enjoy their maturity - they love planning the route we'll take and taking photos .
Those of us with teenagers really should enjoy the time we have with them - it goes so fast.

and yes my boys and I love watching BGT and the Apprentice too (even though my DH hates them - he's outnumbered.)

Thanks for this timely reminder. Mine are still asleep. I will give them the biggest hug ever when they finally surface.

Morning all. Well I am taking my two out today. Dentist appointment. Yay!

TBH I never look back on my DC's lives and wish backwards.

At every stage I have enjoyed myself a lot and thrown myself into it. But after each stage I feel I'm over it. Don't want or need to revisit it. And very glad to be experiencing somehting new.

Thank God I had twins!!!

My 12yo dd is still happy to go to days out at the zoo, etc. she wants to go to the space museum this week as well.

Mine are 15, 14 and 9.
My ds2 still likes doing things with me. But the other 2?
Well, ds1 walks the dog with me every night and we have a nice time chatting away about everything.
Dd still asks me to plait her hair and cuddles up next to me to watch tv.

But....we all went shopping on Saturday. Because dd needed drama clothes and ds1 needed new football boots.

Dd walked 5 feet in front of me talking and texting and twittering.
Ds1 walked 5 feet behind me, with headphones on, a cap pulled down almost over his eyes in case he saw anyone he knew and had to acknowledge that he was out with his family

Only ds2 walked with me, chattering away about school, and Club Penguin and North American lions.
After we had finished shopping, I suggested we go and have lunch. From the horrified look on the teenagers faces you would have thought I suggested a naked picnic in Hyde Park.

So they went home and I took ds2 to lunch.

It was lovely to have lunch with him alone but it was a bit sad. When did they get to the stage when being seen with your mother is the worst thing ever?

We also saw BGT last night, and then the final bit of Springwatch - especially for ds1, still the bug lover!

I think it is more to it than just looking at their lives and wishing their youth back, but it is my life too! My youth wont be back! I will never again be 27, 30, etc. The kids growing older reminds me that so am I!

They have their lives ahead of them, and for us grown ups, we are headed in the opposite direction. Lets just hope that we can remain alongside our children for as long as they need us and are dependent on us.

Im so glad I don't have to worry about this.
You see, my boys have all said that they are going to marry me, and we are going to live together forever.

MaryZ I said to DH last week, if all our kids go off to uni at 18, that means in 9 years time it will just be me and him. It doesn't seem possible sometimes that dd is doing her GCSEs next May and ds1 a year later.

It's a funny thought, to think of them all grown up and out in the world. It's nice in a way, to think you have watched them grow into nice, decent people and they are able to go on and have a good life without you. But it's sad too, all the things you won't have to do anymore. Even silly things like buying a certain orange juice because its the only one dd drinks, or getting up at 7am on a Sunday morning to watch ds1 play football.

I'm scared of dd leaving to go to uni, etc already and she's only 12. I realise how much of my life does revolve around her.

Dh has his very sporty hobby and is off doing that a lot so I end up been home....even if dd isn't doing stuff with me I need to be around.

But when she leaves I'm going to have to find something to do with all my time......maybe ill get another dog!