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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

what a shame its not a boy!

76 replies

TheEndTisHere · 28/05/2013 18:36

I have two DD and I'm pregnant with DD3. My midwife is on holiday so saw her replacement. A very rushed check of baby as she's listening to heart beat she asks if I know what sex baby is I smile and say a girl and then "what a shame its not a boy" I said I wanted a girl and was perfectly happy if not more happy its a girl she followed this up with "well I'm sure your DH would have liked a boy" no I think you'll find my DH is more than capable of having his nails painted!

What is wrong with having 3DD will people assume we only have 3DD because we kept trying for a boy? This is the second professional make out its a bad thing. Its also the look on the faces you can just tell people feel bad for us. I don't really care what people think but would like some very quick to the point replies to people who have the nerve to think my DD's are worth less than a DS.

OP posts:

MrsBertBibby · 28/05/2013 18:38

They are arseholes.

End of thread.

gordyslovesheep · 28/05/2013 18:39

I have 3 DD's - I feel your pain (I don't think I can carry boys)

once had a check out operator in Sainsburys ask me if my 3rd pregnancy was an accident ...followed by 'oh where you trying for a boy' followed by 'sad face' when I told her it was a girl

HollyBerryBush · 28/05/2013 18:41

I have 3 boys, had the same shit about "wanting a girl" - erm, no thanks!

crumblepie · 28/05/2013 18:41

i think if you have 2 of the same sex every one automatically thinks you want a 3rd because you want the other sex , i have 2 dd and often got asked if i was going to try again for a boy , i was more than happy with 2 girls and would be if i had a 3rd and it was a girl .

Optimist1 · 28/05/2013 18:41

"We love having daughters, and are thrilled that we're going to have another!"? (Agree with MrsBB above!)

McNewPants2013 · 28/05/2013 18:41

It annoying when it's complete stranger. Never mind HCP

Bowlersarm · 28/05/2013 18:42

I think people just assume you'll want the different sex whichever way round it is.

Smartiepants79 · 28/05/2013 18:42

I'd be overjoyed if I had another girl. I already have 2!
I think I'd have a nervous breakdown if I had a boy. Don't know what to do with them!

HerrenaHarridan · 28/05/2013 18:43

"Oh gosh no I wouldn't want a boy, I had to several terminations after the scans revealed it was a boy, there's nothing in my wardrobe that will go with all that blue!"

If that doesn't shut them up nothing will

MyNameIsLola · 28/05/2013 18:45

YANBU, this drives me mad.

I'm pg with my 4th DS and I'm sick to death of the negative comments about it. I am thrilled to be having another boy (unplanned pregnancy, we can't accommodate a girl in our house).

The only correct response to someone telling you the sex of their baby is 'how lovely, congratulations!'

sweetkitty · 28/05/2013 18:45

I have 3DDs and even got comments when she was born this gorgeous little baby "that's a shame it's not a boy" and the commiserations face. I wanted to punch their lights out.

DD3 is an utter joy and we lost a baby before her and nearly lost her which makes her extra special.

We then ttc#4 expecting DD4, even had her names chosen, of course DD4 became DS and to some people he is the messiah child, I have one aunt who asks "how is DS by name" then "oh and the girls?" Apparently I can stop now as I've got my boy and I must have kept going until I got a boy (as if the DDs don't matter).

People are idiots don't you know the rules, you must only have a matching pair, if you do get a matching pair you aren't allowed a third as you have one of each people will assume its an accident as you have I've of each.
If you have the misfortune of having two the same sex you are allowed to have a third to try for the different sex.
If you have three if one sex then that's it you can't carry the other sex

loofet · 28/05/2013 18:45

I had a boy and a girl and was surprised how many people said 'oh so it doesn't matter what gender this one is then because you already have one of each' when I was having DC3. I wouldn't be bothered regardless! I even remember when I was having DS how many people said 'oh don't you wish you were having a girl? .. Er, no?

McNewPants2013 · 28/05/2013 18:47

Had to laugh when someone said to me what will you do if it is another boy.

Next time say to who ever says it " don't worry I have ordered gender changing drugs off eBay"

Jinty64 · 28/05/2013 18:47

I wanted three girls. Now I have three boys and wouldn't know what to do with a girl.

Mahls · 28/05/2013 18:49

DS3 is 7 months and I had this.....learnt to pre-empt it with "it's another boy, aren't I lucky" and now when asked say "three boys, I'm so lucky". I really feel I am too...it feels a bit special and unusual and people notice it much more than two of any sort or a mix of three. Of course it's just random chance but I feel insanely proud as mother of three boys and if you feel the same with your girls there's no harm in stating you're pleased before people start on the annoying comments.

ilovecolinfirth · 28/05/2013 18:49

I have 2 boys who I would not change for the world, but am fully aware if we chose to have a third, people would assume we'd be trying for a girl. So rude.

ChasingStaplers · 28/05/2013 18:51

How rude and unprofessional.

I have 3DC - DD, then DS1 so according to some I 'ruined it' by having DS2
erm no, I have completed my family with DS2 who is an absolute joy.

SupermanEatsKryptonite · 28/05/2013 18:53

Congrats on number 3!

I have 3dds and it's fab - DH has another two older girls so we get a lot of this. I was somewhat dismayed with the other fred on here atm - are you the only female in your household (or summat like that). Lots of stereotyping on there about whiny, demanding, bitchy daughters who don't like computer games/getting dirty/walking and who only wear pink.

I feel like I'm missing out on a whole world of having daughters, mines are disgusting in comparison to the various comments on that fred - they fart/pick their nose/are glued to the lap tops/get minging at any opportunity/need to be exercised before they'll shaddup .

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have minded a boy (apparently they're easier than girls...not sure if I believe that) but there's nothing wrong with having three girls.

I hope you have as much fun with your three girls as I do with me

rcs19 · 28/05/2013 18:54

Yanbu, this annoys me too. My fil tells all and sundry we'll have to 'have another go' as we have 2 dd's. Quite happy as we are, thanks.

mouseymummy · 28/05/2013 18:55

Im dreading Thursday for this very reason. I have two dds and im 20 weeks with dc3.

I've had so many people say "fingers crossed for blue" I tell them im praying for pink!! I would love my baby if its a boy or girl but im kinda hoping its a girl!!

RedJeans · 28/05/2013 18:56

I'm one of three girls and people always commented on how interesting and lovely it was! Although my dads not particularly macho so people didn't assume he wanted a boy haha.

Once DD3 is born people will comment less I think or just say positive things, and the girls will love it, having two sisters is great fun

MumnGran · 28/05/2013 19:01

Get some tee-shirts printed .......

Wanted another girl
Tried for another girl
Getting another girl

Or the alternative version

Its a girl
and if you are not
as happy as we are
insert a word you can wear off

AntsMarching · 28/05/2013 19:02

Immediately after giving birth to dd2, the midwife asked me if I wanted anymore children. I said, two was all I wanted and I was glad I wouldn't have to go through childbirth again. She said, "no, definitely don't do it again. You could end up with a boy."

I was a little shocked that she'd said that.

StarlightMcKenzie · 28/05/2013 19:02

Oh people are strange. I have a boy and then a girl and everyone was un-muted in their surprise and often outrage that we were expecting a 3rd and treated us as if it was unplanned.

Because why would we want a 3rd if we had a boy and a girl?

As it happens my eldest boy has ASD. Whilst I don't wish he was a girl or that he was anyone else, there are quite frankly more things to worry about.

SlowJinn · 28/05/2013 19:03

When my second son was about 10 days old, we took him and his older brother out for the day on a rural steam railway fun day thing.
There was another family there, with a male toddler and a newborn, except their newborn was a girl.

I will never forget the man saying to me "oh you must be sooooo disappointed" - it hadn't occurred to me to be anything of the sort. I felt as if I had been punched in the face. I still remember the shock.

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