th think this is not the way that a nurse should speak to a patient

[moiner]

My brother has had an operation on his kidneys and has been in hospital for the last 6 days. One of the nurses has told him that he?s the fittest boy they have had on the ward all year and whenever she speaks to him she calls him ?pretty boy? instead of his name. On top of this she?s told him that he is even cuter when he?s asleep. I think this is quite unprofessional behaviour towards a patient by a nurse but my DP thinks I?m being a grumpy old sod and that she is just tailoring her manner towards a 19yo boy. AIBU?

I was in hospital because of a sinus operation, I id not suddenly loose my faculties whilst in there and more than capable of speaking for myself. I wish the dishy young doctors were on my ward more often

Perhaps from the tone of this thread I should stop having a banter in work.

If the op does report this the nurse will be looking at a sexual harassment complaint and that's something that I wouldn't want.

The nurse needs to learn that there is a line. not all 19 year old men would like this and she could also find herself offending older people.

It's not up to the op to make a complaint unless her brother was not able to speak for himself. I would be mortified if I were in her brothers position and my sister o mum tried to make a complaint for me.

Mabey she will come across someone who will not like it and Akers a complaint about her

The OP is within her rights to complain if she hears the nurse talking like this. It's not on.

Maybe she should consider how her brother would take that though, neo?

"Oh hello brother, glad you're being looked after well, by the way I've complained about that nice young woman who's taken great care of you and who've you've been chatting on with while you've been here, unprofessional cow! With any luck she'll be getting pulled up as we speak!"

I don't think you can complain as you haven't witnessed it yourself.
Your brother is chuffed about the attention so may be exaggerating?

Also, when I was last in hospital the nurse told me I looked cute when I was sleeping

Goodness me, hasn't the 19 year old MAN got the right to make the decision about this, rather than others on his behalf He's an adult ffs. So much angst going on. Unless he is really vulnerable and needs your help with this op??? Is he?

Did the OP ever return...? Or was it one of those...

It's unprofessional and he's in a vulnerable position having had an operation. I just hope he really is enjoying it and not just going along with it as he's worried. She's obbviously got an eye for him. When I was in (with an infected finger) a Nuse said my old but very handsome and cute puppet-Clifford was GORGEOUS!!...think that's o.k.! . But, no, seriously keep your eye on him. I know everyone is saying he's 19 but he's a vulnerable adult and needs care right now. It will mean she may look after him a bit better (I wasn't going to mention that) but.....still not very professional!.

obviously

I've looked after good looking patients in the past and as female staff members we comment about it of course, but in the staff room or somewhere private. Definitely not to the patient themselves. Unless its their cute children/grandchildren. Totally unprofessional otherwise.

If however he isn't feeling harrassed or bothered about it, then it's not your place to complain. He's an adult.

Those saying "none of your business......just banter......usual stuff" - would you still say the same if it was a 19yo female oatient being told by a male nurse "you are really pretty. Even prettier when you sleep"?

Grim stuff.

I suppose if I told you all my first husband was shagging the nurse the night after his hernia operation, that might colour your judgement one way or another on the vulnerability of patients. I think he was 17 at the time.

Small community, so I know its true and not wishful thinking on his part!

OP did you hear the nurse say these things, or is this what your brother told you?

Baby he is not an vulnerable adult just because he went into hospital. Just because you go not hospital des not mean you loose all your abilities. No ts not fr op to mak a complaint, if he were a minor or a vulnerable adult(had earning difficulties r a disability which meant he was not abl to make an informed decision)than fair enough, but it des not sound like this in this case.

Holly totally different situation, no sexual relations was going on. Mortified the patient was not bothered so no issue. If the patient was bothered than yes a complaint should be made. I am a cab able adult and f I were not bothered by a male nurse or Dr flirting with me tan it's my decision nobody else's. I would be if my family took it upon themselves and made a complaint about it without my consent

He's enjoying it, he's 19 - he's presumably dishing out similar in return, why in the world would you want to police or complain about their interaction just because you wouldn't like it? It sounds like banter that they're both perfectly capable of dealing with & enjoying. I'm sure he prefers that to a lemon sucking robot looking after him.

And if the female patient was enjoying the banter (some do) then of course I'd say the same.

No need to turn banter into sexual harassment when neither of them is treating it in that way & no-one is feeling intimidated.

Exactly saintly, exactly someone with common sense.

It would be serious if the nurse Abused him in which des nt seem like this here. For all we kno she migh be close to his age and the type o banter which goes on between youngsters these days. The fact was he is not better and n should you.

He is not bothered doh typos

Unprofessional but none of your business.

It is not sexual harrassment but it is unprofessional.

Just as my attempting to chat up one of my students would be unprofessional, despite the fact that some are older than me. In fact, it would be a disciplining offence. Quite regardless of whether they enjoyed it or not.

It's not because they suddenly lose their marbles when they sign up for my course, it's because there is a different power relationship. And because I represent my institution and part of what I am paid for is to convey the impression of professionalism.

The same goes for a doctor seeing a patient. Or a priest counselling a parishioner.

Common sense decrees that the young man's relatives should not be making a complaint.

But common sense equally decrees that this nurse should think about how she comes across before she gets into trouble. She will have been taught how to behave with patients. She is deliberately ignoring it. It may be ok this time, no guarantee it will be ok next time.

I think standards of conduct are really going down, I think it is unprofessional.

My Dsis was in hospital last week, very serious condition, but the nurses are so loud, shouting across the ward, laughing and joking. I did not appreciate this one bit and they have to consider that people are very sick and need peace and quiet. She has now left hospital to get more rest than when she was in there.