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DDs school trip and expected attire.....

164 replies

BabylonReturns · 28/05/2013 16:32

Right, I'm perfectly prepared for a roasting/flaming whatever, but please please please understand I'm not posting this to be goady or otherwise.

If you think IABU then I will accept that graciously, I'm asking as I'm really not sure.

Ok, second week back after half term, DDs school (ks2) are going on a trip as part of their religious studies education. The trip costs £5, no problem.

As yet, I am unaware exactly where the trip will be, but have been advised in writing that boys are expected to wear long trousers and girls should wear tights or trousers and will be expected to cover their hair and lower half of their faces in accordance with cultural requirements in a place of worship.

DD isn't very happy about wearing tights or trousers in June, she's very much a summer dress kind of girl regardless of the weather Hmm
She certainly isn't happy about covering her face up, doesn't mind her hair being coves as often wears a cap or hat, but really doesn't want to wear a scarf over her face.

So AIBU to make her wear the scarf, and would a mumsnet scarf be ok?? I don't really do scarves so a mn one is all I have! DH is saying he would prefer her not to go at all, and if the roles were reversed, would the cultural wearers of the scarves be asked to remove them to enter our local church?

Again I just want to reiterate I'm not looking for a bun fight regarding religions, I accept that different cultures do different things, and that's fine, but if my dd is expected to do as they do when visiting them in their place of worship, are they expected to do the same and fit in with us in our place of worship?

I'm sure I haven't conveyed this well at all Confused

OP posts:
BabylonReturns · 29/05/2013 22:31

I'm here, sorry I had RL to deal with today! Three children to organise on a wet half term day Hmm

Right, I'm liking the summer dress with leggings idea, that is good - but obviously if we have weather like the last two days, she'll be going in a bloody snow suit!

The letter from school definitely says the girls are required to cover their hair and lower part of face. I checked that again today.

However, I have today emailed the chair of governors (I'm vice chair and didn't think of doing that before) and he has told me there are several items of correspondence regarding this trip to be discussed at the next gov mtg so it will be sorted then.
He also thinks it is an over zealous member of staff who has put the letter together, and that the whole face covering thing will not be required.

I will report back after the half term break when I have had chance to discuss with head teacher and other govs.

OP posts:
edam · 29/05/2013 22:36

Hey Babylon, that sounds interesting. It'd be reassuring if it were an over-zealous member of staff rather than the mosque insisting little girls cover their faces.

Grin at you being vice-chair of govs and forgetting to ask your chair - I'm a governor and am quite capable of doing the same!

edam · 29/05/2013 22:38

an example of a mosque that was more concerned with building relationships than insisting on correct forms... I'm sure someone's already linked to this lovely story on MN, but thought it deserved a place here as well!

rockybalboa · 29/05/2013 22:40

It's simply a respect thing. When we went hiking in Morocco I had to wear long trousers and long sleeves when we went into the villages. I didn't object because it was their culture. Same applied to visiting temples in Thailand. It's a bit meh to be disrespectful of other cultures/religions require just because your DD doesn't want to comply. Either she complies or you withdraw her from the trip.

LapsedPacifist · 29/05/2013 22:55

For 'over-zealous' member of staff read 'malicious' and 'shit-stirring' or if you're feeling charitable - 'profoundly ignorant'. Is it really so hard to get decent calibre staff in schools these days? Seriously - there are at least 50 people chasing every job down here, can't they find anyone who knows shit about shite?

'Other cultures' places of worship simply do not require little girls to cover any bits of their faces when visiting on school trips. They might be asked to cover their legs and arms, and possibly wear a scarf over their hair as well IF they are over the age of puberty (ie secondary school age) , but nothing else. They might be asked to remove their shoes. But not cover their faces.

HollaAtMeBaby · 29/05/2013 23:14

I think there has been a misunderstanding... some cultures put headscarves on even the tiniest girls (which IMO is fucking creepy and sexualises children far more than any of our tacky western practices, but that's another thread) but I have never seen/heard of them having to have their faces covered. Would be interested to know what sort of place they are going to.

Buzzardbird · 29/05/2013 23:58

Ok, lets get one thing straight here...the covering of the head of BOTH sexes has nothing to do with sexualizing young girls Ffs. It is because when you enter the gurdwara traditionally you bow in front of the holy man to give a donation (or not if you cannot afford it). It is a respect issue, same as washing of feet and hands for BOTH sexes. This is not required of children mostly because you would have to staple them onto most children's heads...and because they are not expected to bow. Some children of BOTH sexes choose to because they like to dress like mommy or daddy.

nailak · 30/05/2013 00:17

i wear my mumsnet scarf as hijab on a regular basis.....

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/05/2013 03:13

Yeah, but you rock, nailak.

seeker · 30/05/2013 06:16

So an "over zealous" member of staff wrote about the face covering but omitted to mention where the trip was going? [Hmm]

And there are several items of correspondence about the trip to be discussed at the next governor's meeting?

This gets more bizarre.

UniqueAndAmazing · 08/06/2013 17:17

OP, how did this turn out?


pumpkinsweetie · 08/06/2013 17:41

Put a balaklava on her, comfy yet modestGrin. Your dd will be happy as will the religious folk

BabylonReturns · 08/06/2013 23:51

Trip is next Thursday morning.

I have spoken to chair of govs, and class teacher, and I now know exactly where they are going and that headscarf is required to cover her hair, but she will not be expected to cover her face.

It was an over zealous member of staff who wrote the letter and a further letter has since been issued following several complaints.

So all is good :)

OP posts:
formicadinosaur · 09/06/2013 09:15

I can't see the problem, it's an educational trip obviously to a mosque or similar. Surely she can bring herself to wear tights and a scarf for a few hours? And no, it would be daft to expect a muslim to remove thier scarf in a church. Churches do not have a dress code. Your husband is just being difficult and I expect your DD is too.

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