To think its none of her damn business?

[Sparklymommy]

Next door neighbour just knocked on the door with a jar of marmalade for hubby as a "peace offering" after he complained about her chopping wood in the back garden at 11pm last night for a good forty five minutes. Fine. We'd rather she kept the flaming noise down but hey ho!

What annoyed me was she then went on to tell hubby that our Dd1 "bullies" her younger brothers. Apart from the fact it isn't true what business is it of hers? Dd1 is 10, Ds1 is 6 and Ds2 is 5. They are all capable of annoying each other at times, what siblings don't? But they live each other too, and Dd1 has currently volunteered to sit in on a lesson Ds1 is having to learn a new dance so that she can help him with it when the teacher doesn't have time to rehearse with him. Does that sound like bullying behaviour? I don't think so!

I'm fuming. It's none of her business is it?

Bullying is about perception. what is acceptable to one person is not to another. I would think it odd if a family member turned a blind eye to a child being bullied.

I cant make head nor tail of what DD and DSs belong to who in this scenario.

Did you husband like the marmalade?

Wait.

So, your neighbour chops wood in her garden at night. Are you sure it's wood? Have you seen her husband today?

Your husband complained and she brought him marmalade as a response. Bit novel, but okay....

And then she complained that one of your children bullies your other children?

Yes, she is a loon and YANBU.

my next door neighbour does this drives me bats. tells me if they are teasing/having some silly argument but it is always one sided against one of the dcs as though I'm turning a blind eye. I don't they can all have their moments and be dealt with accordingly but it certainly isn't how she sees it from her side so I feel your pain. make the right noises then shut the door, or if your braver tell her to mind her buisness

All the children are mine and hubby's. neighbour doesn't have children. If Dd1 was bullying her brothers of course I wouldn't turn a blind eye to it. But she isn't. She gets irritated by them, and they by her, but none of them are malicious or cruel. Neighbour is saying that when they play in the garden Dd1 is bullying. She does have a tendancy to boss the boys around, but she is pulled up on it, and I wouldn't class that as bullying.

I think you said it all with "neighbour doesn't have children". What parents see as normal sibling teasing/squabbling could easily be bullying to an outsider. I definitely bullied my sister as a child she asked for it because she was so annoying but I still loved her.

one of our dcs just the same, its is her games her rules and a lot of your not playing it right so you can't play but I would not be happy to have a neighbour pull me up on it. it is dealt with by us. like you say often one of them is winding the other up but still none of her buisness

Sometimes an outsider can see what parents miss. I date say if NDN posted 'AIBU to voice my concern with my neighbours as their DD is clearly bullying their DS behind their back' they may have got some support, albeit with a warning that their neighbour may annoyed and that it is none of their business.

^ dare say

I'd ask for jam.

Or possibly lemon curd.