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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be hacked off that dp spent £200 on 1D tickets

76 replies

holstenlips · 26/05/2013 11:46

For next year . We are barely scraping thru the week and we both work full time. In fact he gets lends off his mum all the time. Its seriously making me think twice about moving in with him. He bought 4 tickets...he has one dc..they are for dc friends apparently. Plonker.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 26/05/2013 11:49

are the other 3 sets of parents going to pay him?

Original poster
holstenlips · 26/05/2013 11:51

Nope he told noone. They are for noone in particular just whoever dc wants to take at the time .

OP posts:
Loulybelle · 26/05/2013 11:52

He'd be unreasonable for spending 200 pence on 1D, nevermind 200 quid.

Toughasoldboots · 26/05/2013 11:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoingItForMyself · 26/05/2013 11:54

Maybe he's hoping that whoever takes them will pay him back (& potentially pay over the odds once tickets are all sold out). There will be no shortage of takers. It is a bit Disney dad and I would also be annoyed, but I suppose its nice that he wanted to take his DC to something they will enjoy. My ex would never do that for our DCs but new DP would, although it drives me nuts I know which dad I'd rather have!

squeakytoy · 26/05/2013 11:54

If you dont live together, and it is his child, not yours, then really it is up to him what he does with his money, but I agree it doesnt bode well for the future if you do move in together.

fuzzpig · 26/05/2013 11:55

I think it would be reasonable of him if his DC's ticket will be an xmas or birthday present... but I can't imagine paying £150 on 3 of his/her friends! Is he expecting the parents of the friends to pay him back?

fuzzpig · 26/05/2013 11:56

And how old his his DC, presumably old enough to go unchaperoned?! Or is one ticket for him, and therefore only 2 friends will be going?

Is this representative of his attitude to finance (ie not being careful) in general?

Original poster
holstenlips · 26/05/2013 12:06

Sadly he is in huge debt. Cant pay his mortgage a lot of the time. Asks parents for loans monthly (hundreds) i know it is for his dc but still...its not teaching her anything

OP posts:
BaronessBomburst · 26/05/2013 12:08

Don't move in with him.

ChaoticTranquility · 26/05/2013 12:08

Do not move in with this man. No need to break up with him but don't move in with him.

Loulybelle · 26/05/2013 12:09

Yeah, dont move in with him, he obviously has piss poor money management.

Original poster
holstenlips · 26/05/2013 12:10

Agreed. Shit got very close to it.

OP posts:
Booyhoo · 26/05/2013 12:11

if they're for croke i'll buy them

fuzzpig · 26/05/2013 12:13

Huge debt? Ah. Yeah. YANBU at all. And you're right to be reconsidering living together. :(

On the plus side, at least you've found out what he's like before you've tied yourself to him.

WorrySighWorrySigh · 26/05/2013 12:26

What a stupid thing to do (him not you). At all levels:

  • he cant afford it
  • what happens if in a year's time DC's taste has changed and would rather watch paint dry?
  • what happens if in the mean time they split up? I know he would get the money back eventually but he would have used up the credit
  • he cant afford it (worth repeating)

For £200 I would expect the band to come to my house and entertain me with my choice of their music.

Groovee · 26/05/2013 12:30

I paid on my credit card for 8 tickets and expect the money back once my bill comes in. My friend and I took 4 tickets each. I wouldn't pay for it if I couldn't afford it.

I do think he's trying to win his daughter over instead of saying, I can't afford this and need to sort myself out. His parents are enabling him to do this by lending him money.

LineRunner · 26/05/2013 12:32

I had a partner like this. Couldn't pay towards the food bill but went out a bought a music centre on HP. Borrowed money off people I knew. Debts everywhere.

Thanks god I got out when I did. It wasn't the debt itself - it was the attitude that he was somehow 'above' it all.

YANBU and very wise to reconsider living together.

NettoSuperstar · 26/05/2013 12:53

I borrowed the money for our tickets but only till Tuesday when it will be paid back in full.
The only person I would ever ask is my best friend because we lend to each other all the time, if she didn't have it we wouldn't be going.

SignoraStronza · 26/05/2013 13:02

YANBU. Quite apart from the money, buying tickets for One Dimension shows he has terrible taste in music. LTB.

FarBetterNow · 26/05/2013 13:09

Maybe time to dump him.

Does he pay his way with you ie contribute to food that he eats when at your house?
Does he live with his Mum?

Original poster
holstenlips · 26/05/2013 13:15

I wont dump him but the plan to move in is off . We live apart I rent a house with my dc. He owns but relys on mum for money. She bails him out all the time. I really don't like it.

OP posts:
Original poster
holstenlips · 26/05/2013 13:16

I feed him all week.

OP posts:
Kat101 · 26/05/2013 13:17

Don't get yourself linked with this guy in a financial sense. Your credit rating will be destroyed . Avoid anything joint (loans tenancies etc). Long term I think you have an uphill struggle with this man.

LineRunner · 26/05/2013 13:19

holstenlips, I expect he's running up quite a lot of debt on his mortgage which will follow him wherever he goes.

And even if you say no to his moving in (which you wisely seem to have decided) - regarding his mortgaged property, whether he sells, is repossessed or carries on getting his mum to pay for him, this will hang like an albatross around the neck of your relationship.

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