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AIBU?

to be hacked off that dp spent £200 on 1D tickets

76 replies

holstenlips · 26/05/2013 11:46

For next year . We are barely scraping thru the week and we both work full time. In fact he gets lends off his mum all the time. Its seriously making me think twice about moving in with him. He bought 4 tickets...he has one dc..they are for dc friends apparently. Plonker.

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Loulybelle · 26/05/2013 13:24

You need to decide if you want to spend a lifetime bailing out and feeding a grown man, what will happen if he loses his house, will he be at your door or mummies.

QueVes · 26/05/2013 13:32

And the worst part is that your child is now obliged to go to a one direction gig.

LIZS · 26/05/2013 13:35

yanbu , 1D will be past history by then anyway, and I think you should reconsider your future with him if he feels so free with other people's money at the expense of basic living costs.

holstenlips · 26/05/2013 15:27

Its ok my children dont like 1d. Im cross because we really struggle to pay for our living arrangements. I was planning to move in after summer hols. I suppose his parents can afford it but to me its not something I would do. His mum seems to baby him

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holstenlips · 26/05/2013 15:29

Just got to tell him now!

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holstenlips · 26/05/2013 15:41

And yes he is in arrears with mortgage. Because I rent we were meant to be moving in together to pool our resources.
But its put me right off that instead of paying for necessities ie food fares to work bills he buys these tickets to appease a stroppy teenager.
We had food parcel last week from his mum. :-(
I hope im not being too harsh

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hermioneweasley · 26/05/2013 15:49

Of course you're not being harsh. He is completely irresponsible. Given his attitude I don't see how you coukd ever live together and have joint finances, so I would reconsider whether this is a relationship you want to be in. He is also freeloadng off you if you're feeding him and he hasn't offered to contribute to costs.

Viviennemary · 26/05/2013 15:56

Well if you don't have joint finances I can't really see that you have a say in how he spends his money unless you are supposed to be saving up for someting in particular. Or unless he owes you money. But he doesn't sound very responsible financially if he is eating at your house regularly and not contributing anything.

WhereYouLeftIt · 26/05/2013 16:02

"we were meant to be moving in together to pool our resources."
Unfortunately it looks as if his idea of pooling resources is that you would provide and he would spend . And your resources are already pooled - you provide food, he eats it. holstenlips, thank your lucky stars you haven't already moved in, and that you aren't financially entangled with him. And make sure you don't become entangled!

CherylTrole · 26/05/2013 16:03

Why would you subject your children and yourself to this jerk?? I cant see any reason why you would?

WhereYouLeftIt · 26/05/2013 16:04

Oh, and stop feeding him! It may be on a smaller scale, but it means you ARE enabling his behaviour, just the same as his mother is doing.

holstenlips · 26/05/2013 16:15

Good point Where. Im off to my parents tomorrow for a few days..so I will politely say he cant stay in my house which is what he expects to do as it means no costs for him. Why is he so irresponsible. More to the point I feel pretty sure he wont change. Just intuition though.

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Pobblewhohasnotoes · 26/05/2013 16:41

Bad idea moving in with him. Do not pool your resources, you will be paying for everything. He clearly has no idea how to be responsible with money and will look to you to bail him out. Plus your credit rating will be terrible.

Don't do it!

Ragwort · 26/05/2013 16:45

What is the attraction of this man-child? Do you really want someone like that in your life, possibly influencing your own child - what are his good points? Do NOT let him stay at your place while you are away, he sounds like a scrounger.

holstenlips · 26/05/2013 16:49

He has many good points...so does living alone with my dc though.

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WhereYouLeftIt · 26/05/2013 16:54

Why would he expect to stay in your house when you are not there ? Has he really become that blatant a user?

StuntGirl · 26/05/2013 16:54

Why would you want to date such a feckless loser?

Fluffycloudland77 · 26/05/2013 16:55

He's a manchild.

People rarely change ime, not with deep held attitudes like money. For some it's all for spends and for others it's for bills and savings and a little bit of spends.

Ragwort · 26/05/2013 16:55

Well, what are his 'many' good points?

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 26/05/2013 16:56

Don't be clouded by his good points, it doesn't make up for the fact that he has one big shockingly bad point. Do you want to be forever bailing him out because he can't be bothered to be responsible? Why should his Mum give him money? He needs to grow up.

If you live with him are you going to spend each month worrying about where the money is going to come from?

holstenlips · 26/05/2013 17:35

I already spend all month worrying about money. Its ok im not going to do it.

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McNewPants2013 · 26/05/2013 19:33

He sounds like a cock lodger, I see big red flags here.

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LineRunner · 26/05/2013 19:37

Good for you, holsten.

And don't get guilt tripped. Possibly has been expecting you to move in and pay for everything because otherwise you would make yourself and DC homeless.

holstenlips · 26/05/2013 20:13

Oh well ive spoken to his mum and she told me he has had thousands from her in the last 2 years :-( meanwhile he doesnt pay mortgage arrears and has bought a new ps3 recently as well as id tickets..his mum said her parents and themselves have always bailed him up...over twenty years :-( oh well ive told him and his mum moving in is not happening :-( thanks all

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LineRunner · 26/05/2013 20:23

Are you ok?

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