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Original poster

Nick Ross on rape - warning you may feel the need to punch a wall

484 replies

DuelingFanjo · 25/05/2013 23:09

sorry it's a daily mail link.

I am full of rage, particularly his comments on aggravated rape. Wtf. Presumably he means that there are situations in which he will not be able to stop himself from raping someone because it is aggravated. This has made me so angry. Please they'll me he no longer works for the BBC. I truly hope he loses his career over this. How the hell are we supposed to educate people who think like this?

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 26/05/2013 23:09

I am sure your sister can speak for herself - but I don't think she speaks for every one - she may have baulked ...proving nothing really :)

CouthyMow · 26/05/2013 23:09

So the fact that I didn't cry, say no, or fight when I was four years old makes it not rape?

BOLLOCKS.

I was too scared to do any of the above because I had been told that I would be stabbed if I did.

Sorry, but it is patently bollocks that it is not rape if you don't say no, cry or fight.

I was raped again when I was 15, by my boyfriend at the time's older brother.

Then again at 19, whilst walking home after a night out.

Then I was repeatedly raped during a relationship during my mid twenties.

On none if these occasions was I ABLE to do anything except freeze.

It will NOT happen to me again.

CoalDustWoman · 26/05/2013 23:09

Rape law is :

1)A person (A) commits an offence if?
(a)he intentionally penetrates the vagina, anus or mouth of another person (B) with his penis,
(b)B does not consent to the penetration, and
(c)A does not reasonably believe that B consents.
(2)Whether a belief is reasonable is to be determined having regard to all the circumstances, including any steps A has taken to ascertain whether B consents.

It's really not very complicated.

Why it necessitates masses of threads is beyond me.

minnehaha · 26/05/2013 23:10

Ok Sunny ???? away why don't you

gordyslovesheep · 26/05/2013 23:11

Couthy you should NEVER have to justify any of that - I hate that anyone makes you feel the need to x I was 4 as well x I know I was not to blame

CoalDustWoman · 26/05/2013 23:11

Couthy, I am so sorry they did that to you.

I am a freezer too. I think lots of people are, but they don't know it until they are in a situation where fight, flight or freeze applies.

Darkesteyes · 26/05/2013 23:14

Hello Couthy. Im so sorry to hear all of that NONE of it was your fault NONE of it xx

Sunnywithshowers · 26/05/2013 23:14

I have no idea whether I'm a fighter or a freezer. I hope never to find out.

I'm sorry for all of the stories on here. Rape shouldn't happen to anyone.

IfNotNowThenWhen · 26/05/2013 23:16

A four year old is not able to consent couthy. Of course you couldn't have had any responsibility for that atrocity. :(

negmatthews · 26/05/2013 23:22

Wow Nick Ross, what a cunt.

minnehaha · 26/05/2013 23:22

So the consensus is we can all behave how the hell we like and there will be no consequence

Darkesteyes · 26/05/2013 23:23

He really doesnt fucking get it does he?!!

LRDtheFeministDragon · 26/05/2013 23:24

Sorry, couthy, that is awful. Sad

And no, of course it wasn't your responsibility.

CoalDustWoman · 26/05/2013 23:25

minnehaha, do you think all men are rapists?

DioneTheDiabolist · 26/05/2013 23:25

Men do not need to watch what they wear / be careful / stay with their friends / not get too drunk in order not to get raped. I should have the same freedom from rape as they do.

The fact am not free to enjoy my night without going through this checklist, in the 21st century is a fucking travesty. The idea that if I were to be raped, it would be partly my fault is a fucking abomination.

What the holy fuck is wrong with people? Angry

Darkesteyes · 26/05/2013 23:26

EXACTLY Dione EXACTLY.

McNewPants2013 · 26/05/2013 23:27

I have never been raped, so can not comment factually in what I would do.

How I can imagine is that I would want to stay alive and if I screamed or try to prevent it happening my children would be left without a mother.

A women should not have to explain why she was raped, she was raped. This is something out of her control and the fault remains with the scum bag who had committed such a barbaric crime.

CouthyMow · 26/05/2013 23:27

And yet there are rape apologists on this thread that state that a rapey man is not able to know that you do not consent if you do not either say no, cry, or try to fight him off.

That's bollocks.

Of course it's rape.

Any NON-rapist would ensure they got consent (and that the person they wished to have sex with was able to give consent - i.e. not so pissed that they are passing out) before any penetration occurred, and any NON-rapist would stop if they were asked to, or if there were sounds of pain, or if there were facial expressions showing pain, or if the person they were having sex with was to decide AT ANY POINT that they wanted it to stop.

NON-rapists don't seem to have trouble with that, so my summary is that the only people that could possibly have an issue with that ARE rapists, or rape apologisers at the very least.

xkittyx · 26/05/2013 23:27

To Minnehaha, yes I do rather think I should be able to go about my business in the way of my choosing, or as you put it "behave how the hell I like", without having someone's penis forced into my vagina without my consent.
Hope that clarifies it for you.

CouthyMow · 26/05/2013 23:30

Nick Ross IMO is a rape apologist AT BEST. I shan't put what I fear he might be at worst, as I have no proof other than the odious bullshit he is spouting in this article...

And as for comparing me to a laptop...

Yes, because track suit trousers and a hoody are so revealing that my ex- boyfriend's brother was unable to help himself. Confused

Drunkenness, revealing clothing, provocative behaviour don't cause rape, rapists do!

CouthyMow · 26/05/2013 23:32

And if I was raped whilst wearing a bikini, would that be my fault got wearing a bikini?

Nope.

Revealing clothes don't cause rape, rapists do.

Darkesteyes · 26/05/2013 23:33

Hmmm Wonder what spin Schofield is going to put on this on This Morning tommorrow. Their record on these issues isnt good either.

gordyslovesheep · 26/05/2013 23:34

Drunkenness, revealing clothing, provocative behaviour don't cause rape, rapists do

exactly - I am fed up of people painting this picture of poor confused men who don;t understand that having sex with someone without consent is a bad thing

FreudiansSlipper · 26/05/2013 23:34

Couthy what has been done to you is just terrible :(

please do no justify how you feel or felt unless it is helping you x

McNewPants2013 · 26/05/2013 23:42

Couthy my dd is almost 4, she would just do what she is told.

Recently she had an hospital appointment and it was very easy to get the drops in her eyes, it cost me a McDonalds and a new book.

I really hope you have or are getting the best of support because no child should ever have to go through what you have.