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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to make a scene on the train

362 replies

photographerlady · 24/05/2013 22:06

I didn't but AIBU to just throw my hands up and really just make a scene next time. I commute over an hour to London on the train. In my third trimester of pregnancy I applied for upgrade for Mums to Be on southwest trains. Have the pass now to sit in first class if the train is full.

The past month I've sat in first class. I am slower now and especially after work when huffing my way to catch the train after quitting time I get on with only 5 minutes to spare. About five coaches down its first class (ten coach train) and its rammed so I get on and sit in FC as those first five coaches have no seats.

Today the ticket checker came to our carriage when we was moving she checked my pass and said that there were seats on this train I have to leave first class. I was more shocked but then she preceded to tell me that she could revoke my pass and I have to move now. So at 33 weeks I walked down two carriages on the moving train til I found a seat.

Now I am working til 35/36 weeks but after thinking about today AIBU to just say "No" next time that I am not moving and take it from there. I mean they can remove me from the train or say I am causing a scene but tbh I feel as though its not worth the strain and cramps in my stomach to hustle down the platform or weave through carriages to make sure all seats are taken before I go back to the pretty empty first class section.

OP posts:
Unami · 25/05/2013 12:46

I don't understand why people are being so critical.

The OP walked through over 50% of the standard class seating and found no seats available. Perfectly reasonable to assume that the rest of the train will be the same, and use her pass. The ticket inspector was being an absolute jobsworth.

I also agree with other posters that there should be no class divisions on trains. It is a waste of space and it is also unegalitarian and unbefitting of society in 2013.

Saski · 25/05/2013 12:48

Should there be no first class on planes either?

Abra1d · 25/05/2013 12:48

So people who disagree with the OP are now: 'shits', 'bitches' and 'bastards'.

janey68 · 25/05/2013 12:49

Now, if the op had been 'are train fares too high' I would wholeheartedly agree. If it had been 'have train companies got the ratio of first class to second class seats wrong'- yes, I would agree with that too.

But 'should I make a scene because the company are implementing their system and expecting me to sit in a seat commensurate with the fare I've paid when such a seat is available' ... Nope, I can't agree with that. The company don't have to have this scheme at all. They could simply expect people to pay for first class if that's what they want. The fact they've got it, the OP signed up to it and is now complaining about it is a little bizarre

janey68 · 25/05/2013 12:49

Abraids- you forgot cunts. That was mentioned upthread. Some posters have a charming view of their fellow women don't they? Hmm

Saski · 25/05/2013 12:51

Cunts! Wow. I missed that.

Abra1d · 25/05/2013 12:51

Lovely, Janey68.

Binkybix · 25/05/2013 12:51

"The OP walked through over 50% of the standard class seating and found no seats available. Perfectly reasonable to assume that the rest of the train will be the same, and use her pass"

That's not true - common sense and experience tells that the first carriages will be more full.

tethersend · 25/05/2013 12:58

I think I was the only one to call anyone cunts and I was referring to a particular train company- is that what you were referring to, Janey? I can't find any other cunt on the thread.

So to speak Grin

C999875 · 25/05/2013 12:59

Firstly. I will say this "I am rather disgusted at the way certain members on here have spoken to you", sorry but in my world you don't upset a pregnant women
No you're not being unreasonable at all. If I see a preganant women it's just basic manners for me to make sure she is safe and has a comfortable seat. To think as well we're all mothers on here or mothers to be going through or been the same thing.
I know one thing though I got more curtoisy from men when I was pregnant that women. I think the reason could be "The women who ahve been through it think, "Well I went through it no-one jumped through hoops for me and the ones who haven't are possibly jealous.
Good luck with your baby. xxx

janey68 · 25/05/2013 13:01

Well I assume in calling an entire company 'cunts' you include the female ticket collecter who disagreed with the OP that she was entitled to stay in first class?
Just a pretty horrible way to describe anyone really. Especially when it's based on simply not agreeing with you

janey68 · 25/05/2013 13:07

Sorry but had to chortle at 'in my world you don't upset a pregnant woman' ... Sounds like relationship advice from a book from the 19th century Grin

tethersend · 25/05/2013 13:09

Oh no, I stand by calling FCC cunts.

As do most who've travelled on their trains.

In this instance, I was referring to whoever made the decision to revoke the 1st class upgrade scheme for pregnant women and make them apply for and carry a pass for priority seats to which they were already entitled. Which is a decision only a cunt could make. As far as I'm aware, that cunt is not on the thread, so to make out that I was calling other posters cunts because they disagreed with me is a little disingenuous, don't you think?

Is that really what you were referring to?

Saski · 25/05/2013 13:09

There was much to chortle at.

An unedited book, maybe?

Tenacity · 25/05/2013 13:12

I can see both sides OP.
I do think YABU as you should abide by your ticket conditions, and look for seat elsewhere before venturing into first class.
HOWEVER, in the wider context, this whole thing highlights the bigger issue, which is that THIS society does not look after its vulnerable members. Yes, a woman who is pregnant is vulnerable. Little things like offering a seat, opening a door, a greeting or smile do not cost anything.
Also the fact that very pregnant women HAVE to continue working, some in very difficult jobs is another topic...

Then you have a lack of support for parents with very young children, abuse of the disabled, child abuse, abuse of the elderly and lots of other ills. IMO there is a dearth of compassion in society, in general.

DontmindifIdo · 25/05/2013 13:19

YANBU actually, I only ever looked in the carriage I was in,if that was full, I went in first class, I didn't walk the length of the train. Next time do say you will need to be taken to the free seat as you couldn't find one, if someone has since got up, you'll need to be told where it is, and would like her to come with you, as others have said, it's now a busy moving train.

They are being complete jobsworths, but remember they only brought in these passes because they stopped having priority seating for pregnant woman in standard class. If they bring that back, then it'll be fine.

Unami · 25/05/2013 13:19

Well they weren't much less full, were they? The OP said she had to walk through another two carriages before she found a seat, and this is after the train had left the station. So the OP is on a train where there is no available seat on 7 out of ten carriages. I think her use of the pass is reasonable and fair.

Saski - not that it's really anything to do with the OP, but planes are a slightly different issue since people don't have to rely on plane travel for their daily commutes and essential day-to-day travel.

Elquota · 25/05/2013 13:24

YANBU. If there weren't any free seats when you got on, then you should be able to sit in first class and stay there.

Floggingmolly · 25/05/2013 13:25

you should have asked someone to get up, or ask the guard to do this for you
The only reason she was asked to leave 1st class was because the guard told her there were free seats on the train... He didn't just push her out of a seat to take pot luck.

cantbloodywellchoose · 25/05/2013 13:27

What Wilson said. Sorry...

Wheresthepopcornagain · 25/05/2013 13:34

I don't you think you are being that unreasonable but the lady was doing her job. it is rubbish getting the train when you are big and uncomfortable. Don't get angry with her for doing her job, just appeal to her better nature and charm her into letting you stay.

lljkk · 25/05/2013 13:55

Pregnancy does not make you into an invalid.

Lovecat · 25/05/2013 14:01

My post wasn't a personal attack on an individual poster, why was it deleted? Confused

I merely said there were some petty, nasty individuals of an illegitimate nature posting on this thread. No names, so if you don't think that's you, why report?

I think the fact someone saw fit to report that as a 'personal' attack proves my point re. pettiness...Hmm Also rather annoyed that the rest of my post was lost.

OP, I repeat, YANBU and anyone who thinks it's reasonable trying to squeeze down a packed train in the hope of finding a seat 'somewhere' while heavily pregnant is just being nasty for the sake of it.

I hope you get to read this before someone else takes offence and presses report...

YellowDinosaur · 25/05/2013 14:03

Actually lljkk pregnancy makes many women into invalids. Just because you were fine doesn't mean anyone who isn't is putting it on Hmm

SomethingsUp · 25/05/2013 14:06

I beg to differ but pregnancy not only made me an invalid whilst I was pregnant, it's left me disabled afterwards too.