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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

C/section

69 replies

C999875 · 23/05/2013 16:32

I gave birth by c/section, am I being unreasonable to feel resentment when women who had N.V.D's say "You cheated, or you had the easy way out". or are they right are N.V.D's worse that c/sections. Have any of you had both? which did you find easier.
Thank you in advance for any replies xx

OP posts:
SquinkiesRule · 23/05/2013 16:36

I had 2 c-sections, no one ever said I cheated. They seemed very sympathetic I hadn't had a natural birth.
Tell them to sod off, they had a faster recovery, you had major abdominal surgery.
It's not a competition.

blueberryupsidedown · 23/05/2013 16:36

Had 2 c sec and nobody ever said that I cheated. Who said that to you? Really? To your face or did you read about it here or on other sites?

There is no easy way out, literally. Both c sections and vb have risks, and there are many cases when either will go well (in my case, 2 em c sec and no problems) and vbs that can go well or not well at all. No easy way out.

Domaby · 23/05/2013 16:37

I've had both. Sorry, the caesarean was much less painful and I recovered more quickly. Mind you, my second baby, who was born naturally, was over 9lbs which might account for that!

TattyDevine · 23/05/2013 16:37

That's silly, a lot of women who had a C-section laboured for hours and hours, then got cut.

Ok so perhaps they didn't end up with tears or have to do the crowning and birth bit, but its hardly the easy way out.

That said my elective section seemed very easy. I had placenta praevia but it went without a hitch and was a very pleasant experience...

I've never been told it was the easy way out though, perhaps you need new friends?

Domaby · 23/05/2013 16:37

Also a c section is definitely not cheating. All that matters is that the mother and baby are ok.

wonderingifiam2013 · 23/05/2013 16:38

YANBU at all.

I had an EMCS which was pure and utter hell - after nearly 40 hours of labour.

Neither is the 'easy' option, but I do feel envious of those who pop in for their 2/3 hour labours on gas and air ... but saying that, we all come home with the same prize :)

Ignore anyone stupid enough to say you cheated and be safe in the knowledge the section probably saved both you and your childs life.

Patchouli · 23/05/2013 16:39

Odd thing to say.
I guess they had pretty bad experiences then.

aloysiusflyte · 23/05/2013 16:41

Yanbu, I had an elcs due to a breech baby and by no means is it the easy way out, it's major surgery!
You'll always meet people who want to comment on or judge your situation, worst one I had at a toddler group was a lady asking me whether I felt I'd failed cos I'd had a c section! Shock

I always say as long as the baby came out safely, doesn't matter how it got here Smile

themaltesecat · 23/05/2013 16:41

The c-section saved my daughter's life. They said she wouldn't have made it another twenty minutes. I was fortunate to be in a great hospital when it all went quickly and unexpectedly wrong, and I still count my blessings that I wasn't quite seduced by all that fluffy miracle-of-home-birth shit.

I know what you mean though- I've had that shit, too.

ballinacup · 23/05/2013 16:42

I didn't find my EMCS to be particularly easy, particularly as it followed 26 hours of labour so I was physically and emotionally exhausted by the time they got DS out through the sunroof.

Then there was the six weeks of injections and painkillers and infected stitches...

The only positive was that DS had a lovely, non-squished head.

Loulybelle · 23/05/2013 16:51

I had 11 hours of labour followed by EMCS, for the first 4 weeks i couldnt even sleep in my own bed, it was awful, no way an easy way out, i still have lasting effects nearly 6 years later.

Fuckwittery · 23/05/2013 16:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IloveJudgeJudy · 23/05/2013 16:55

Poor you. They sound horrid. I've had three CS - two emergency, last one planned. They were three completely different experiences. SIL has had 5 VBs, one within a few minutes. We've never said that to each other. Each experience is different. Take no notice.

thebody · 23/05/2013 16:58

I had 4 vaginal deliveries.

A c sec is major surgery not an easy way out.

Its stupid and anyway birth isn't a competition is it?

It is what it is and there are no medals for suffering.

cory · 23/05/2013 17:32

I've had both, doesn't mean I can pronounce on anybody else's experience. As it so happens, the physical damage was greater with the vaginal in my case, as I both tore and had to have an episiotomy, then infected stitches, took nearly a year before I was comfortable again. It's hardly a matter of pride: recovering more quickly from my caesarian meant I could do more for dc.

And my friend who also had a vaginal pushed her son out at home and was going round visiting two days later. Now you could say she cheated...

LegoAcupuncture · 23/05/2013 17:54

Yanbu. I've had three sections, never had a natural birth.

I've only ever had one person tell me that I was too posh to push, unlike her. I replied immaturely that at least I didn't have a chuff like a wizards sleeve.

Tr ignore the comments, they only come from those who have never had a section before and have no real understanding how major of a surgery it is.

JedwardScissorhands · 23/05/2013 18:00

Have people really said that? I've not had any comments, just general chat about different experiences. Is that not all this actually was? It's a bit like the BF /FF thing; I don't know anyone in real life who has had a negative comment or sideways glance for doing either. The real world is much less polarised.

Booboostoo · 23/05/2013 18:04

Some people are just so conflicted about their feelings on birth (the births of their own children but more often those of other people's children).

On the one hand no one wants, admires or wishes on others a horrific birth experience. On the other hand if it's 'too easy' it's perceived as a cop out.

I had a very pleasant ELCS with very manageable pain afterwards and an unproblematic recovery - I see no reason to apologise for that, I am just grateful I was lucky!

ivykaty44 · 23/05/2013 18:06

I had a vbac and it was overall an easer recovery, c section are not a walk in the park by any means it is major surgery

RubyrooUK · 23/05/2013 18:08

Nobody has ever commented to me on my c-section being "cheating". I got a baby at the end of it!

But I have had a vaginal birth - three day labour, complications, awfully painful epidural and cannula, resulting in emergency forceps delivery and bad tearing. Despite this, had a relatively uncomplicated recovery and was able to do most things immediately.

My second birth was an elective c-section due to the previous complications suffered in first labour. Very calm and medical. Terribly painful recovery, very slow with much longer to get back to anything like normal.

So my view would be that vaginal birth was much more painful and hard work but recovery was much, much easier than the section. I would choose a natural birth (without bad tearing) every time if I could do so.

jellybelly18 · 23/05/2013 18:18

I had an EMCS and my mother said to my mil 'she's done it the easy way.' One on either side of the bed so said over my head like I wasn't there. Thanks a lot for that!

Only have one DC so can't comment on VB but YANBU!

50shadesofmeh · 23/05/2013 18:21

I've had 1 vaginal birth with a 36 hour labour / tears etc and 2 c sections and I'd take the vaginal birth any day, In my experience the pain and immobility after a c section are much worse and distressing than a vaginal birth.
Saying that I've heard of people having 3rd degree tears etc and I'd rather have a c section than that .

Dontbugmemalone · 23/05/2013 18:25

I've had 2 C-sections. The first one was a crash section and it saved my child.
A healthy baby is what matters, not what hole it came out of.

MummyAbroad · 23/05/2013 18:35

YANBU its a stupid thing for people to say.

I had a VB and a C/Section.

I think what they are refering to is the emotional/psychological FEAR that many women facing a VB have, because in a VB you have to actively DO something whereas with a C/section its the doctors hands not yours. So you "cheat" by not having to face (that particular) fear.

I think in terms of physical difficulty, C section recovery is much harder!

By the way, congratulations on your baby!

Tailtwister · 23/05/2013 18:40

Yes, of course major abdominal surgery is the 'easy way out'. Anyone who says that is a twat. Ignore and enjoy your baby!