to ask for positive pnd outcome stories?

[CailinDana]

Have finally admitted i have pnd. I've had depression before so i know i have a slow road to recovery ahead. I would so appreciate anyone else's stories of how they overcame pnd. I need some reassurance at the moment.

:) yay!!

Yay to Cailin and babyCailin!

Woo! Hoo! Great news

I had PND with DS. It started around 10 mnths and after 9mnths of ads I was much better. I still have 'dark times' but I recognise the symptoms and find a little time out does the trick. I try not to socialise too much since being around people tends to reinforce my paranoid thoughts. It's a bit like putting your feet up for your brain and not overstimulating it too much.

Not sure how i feel today. Got dd to nap by endlessly rocking her in the buggy. I wish everything wasn't such a struggle.

I used to do that too cailin :(
It won't always be a struggle.
Your dd won't be a helpless baby forever and these feelings will pass.
I know you don't think so ATM, but it's true. Honest.

Did you manage to sit down with a cuppa while she napped? And it's a pain that you needed to rock her, but I'm sure it's the beginning of her being able to nap- you WILL get there, the two of you. As Badvoc says above, it won't always be so hard.

Yeah i had a bit of a break. Dd is very unsettled, no idea what's wrong with her. I keep reminding myself that every day i get through i won't have to live it ever again. A horrible way to spend dd's babyhood but it's the only way i can manage.

I am ashamed to say it but i often feel that i hate dd.

Actually it's more like i'm afraid of her.

Having a tough time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel today.

I used to call ds1 "it" :(
A regular refrain was me in tears and petrified asking dh "what's wrong with it?"
It's hard for me to admit that, even on an anonymous forum....ds1 is a wonderful, amazing, very special boy and I still find it hard to equate how I feel about him now as opposed to how I felt then.
There will be ups and downs.
Days when it seems to be one step forward and two back.
Get out in the garden if you have one. Get some vitamin d. Let dh take over with dd and ds.
Do something for you

I can hardly believe what I used to say and think about my lovely boy :(
But that was then.
As you say, I was very ill different then.
This thread has been a real eye opener for me.
I think one of the most insidious things about any sort of depression is that there is still such a stigma attached to it, even in this day and age.
You wouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed about any other illness...why pnd?

Because it affectsvyour personality badvoc and that's really scary. The idea that you can change as a person is such a horrible one that people prefer to think it's down to weakness in the person rather than an illness that can hit anyone anytime

Yes.
I am sure you are right.
I read somewhere that 1 in 3 people will suffer from MH issues in their lifetime.
Reading this thread I know I am in good company :)

dd refused the bottle tonight. Oh well. This will not last forever {repeat}

I know dd is a lovely little girl who deserves the best. I owe it to her to slog this out as best i can.

Exactly.
Repeat.
Again and again and again.

And to yourself, sweetheart. You WILL come out of this and will be yourself again- warm, loving, interested in both dc, able for anything.

Thank you for your support guys, it's a huge help

No worries :)
I think (from memory) I noticed a massive change in ds1 once I weaned him and its something you often hear on MN...not that I am advocating early weaning - but some dc do seem to sleep/nap/are happier once solids are introduced, especially if they were never great bf/Ffers.
And of course the bf/ff reduce too.
It will get better.
I can promise you that.