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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

want to deck the bully

16 replies

idiuntno57 · 21/05/2013 22:16

won't obviously but 'broken home's or no it is NOT ok to go around trying to down my son - who is now having nughtmares

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Original poster
idiuntno57 · 21/05/2013 22:16

drown

OP posts:
MrsPresley · 21/05/2013 22:23

If someone tried to drown my son Angry then the police would be involved!

Do you want to tell us more?

How old is your DS and the other boy (i'm assuming it's a boy)

Where did this happen, school? out of school?

I hope your DS is alright

Original poster
idiuntno57 · 21/05/2013 22:27

at swimschool in local pool. I would escalate it except the people who will be blamed are the teachers and it is not their fault that they have too many kids in each class. Feel so bad for DS he is in pieces(8yrs )

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Original poster
idiuntno57 · 21/05/2013 22:40

raises the question how to desk with bullies. Obvs not to approach directly but what to do when it is happening in front of you. I afraid I screamed blue murder from the side until someone acted.

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Original poster
idiuntno57 · 21/05/2013 22:41

deal

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OnwardBound · 22/05/2013 00:15

What do you mean it's not the teachers fault they have too many kids in each class?

Do you mean too many kids to adequately supervise?

Because if that's the case then the teachers should not be taking on the responsibility of too large a number of children per swimming class.

It's an accident waiting to happen and someone needs to report it.

Otherwise someone's child might just drown for real!

[Sorry this happened to your DS by the way. Sounds horrific Sad]

reelingintheyears · 22/05/2013 00:19

If there are too many children in the swimming class then that is dangerous anyway.

It is therefore the fault of the staff involved and the staff at the pool.

namechangeofshame · 22/05/2013 00:38

Sorry but if it's swimschool I'm assuming not actual linked with school? You are paying for this?

Therefore absolutely the pool and teachers fault there isn't an adequate ratio. It's nut about being nice to the teachers its about the fact that someone's child could drown for real. Getit reported to health and safety at the council too.

Was he really trying to drown your ds? And you didn't jump in to get him off? Need more detail

Original poster
idiuntno57 · 22/05/2013 07:36

Sorry for the lack of detail. Was a bit upset last night.

It was a council swimschool. Not DS's school.
At the end of each 10 week block they have 'funtime' which frankly is chaos with all the kids bouncing in the water and the teachers bouncing around with them.

I saw this child pull my son's head back, force it under water and hold it there. He may not have been actually going to drown but it was not a 'fun'/ 'boys will be boys etc.' clowning around act.

I was too far away to jump in (and would have prob squashed some other kids so packed was it) but screamed STOP IT very very loudly and the lifeguard/teacher came running and the kid let go of my son.

Turns out this particular boy has been bullying my DS for a while and this was just a culmination of the activity. He had a very upset night and on reflection I am going to make an official complaint. The teachers and person who run the school are all really lovely but they just have too many kids in the classes.

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KhaosandKalamity · 22/05/2013 15:25

YANBU to want to, it would be unreasonable to actually do it. But something definitely has to be done about this, it sounds like a horrifically traumatic experience for anyone. I'm not from the UK, are there legal guidelines regarding this sort of thing? Such large class numbers sound like a health and safety issue.

MammaTJ · 22/05/2013 15:59

Of course you should make an official complaint. Is it the sort of thing where you would normally be able to dump and run. If so, that child really could have drowned your DS. It does not sound as though they being anywhere near adequately supervised.

MissLurkalot · 22/05/2013 16:03

Little shite! I really hope they sort things out for you and your boy.. Poor little lad.. How's your boy today? x

helenthemadex · 22/05/2013 16:17

someone doing that to me would scare the life out of me so god knows how your poor ds felt.

Glad to hear you are reporting it and hope the bully is kicked out of the class that is dangerous

Pigsmummy · 22/05/2013 17:16

That is very disturbing, you need to tell the school too. Hope your DS is ok today.

MoodyDidIt · 22/05/2013 17:19

omg OP

obviously (as you know) its not ok to deck the bully ....but i can absolutely understand you wanting to, as i have already had to deal with my dc being bullied

nasty, vile little shitbag, i hope he gets whats coming to him

Original poster
idiuntno57 · 22/05/2013 18:22

Of course I didn't deck him. However I spoke to the manager today and it seems that they've discovered that this particular boy was doing this/trying to do this to other kids too. She is going to be speaking to his mother and I think it is unlikely he'll stay on at the swimschool. On a purely selfish note I have a promise that he's not going to be anywhere near DS though obvs this is no help to any other child.

I feel bad about it in that kids who behave like this usually have a reason i.e. they've got a lot of disruption at home or are being bullied themselves. My fear is that he gets excluded from this and then it's the beginning of a lifetime of exclusion and rejection and, possibly much worse behaviour and even criminality in the future. The less pc part of me just thinks the kids a psycho and the swimschool should have spotted it sooner.

However if I raise it with her boss then she will get it in the neck and I am pretty sure it is them who are putting the pressure on to have big classes to make more £££. I am hoping that the threat of this will be enough to make everyone a bit more vigilant.

Optimist me

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