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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think life is often cruelest to those who deserve so much better?

14 replies

JessicaBeatriceFletcher · 20/05/2013 23:31

Just heard some dreadful news about a friend I have known since I was 4 (I am 39). She and her brother have suffered several dreadful tragedies throughout their lives and yet are the most wonderful, generous and fabulous people. They have both got married - he has one child, she has two.

Now I learn, after everything they have already suffered, she has been diagnosed with a very rare and very aggressive form of cancer and needs to undergo some really unpleasant invasive treatment.

It's just not right, when there are so many shitty people out there who go through lives without a care in the world about anyone else, get all they want, treat people badly and yet never have anything bad happen to them. And then lovely people who have already had so much just have more heaped upon them.

OP posts:
hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 20/05/2013 23:35

It is the way of things sadly, bad things happen to those who least deserve it. I wish your friend all the luck and strength in the world with her battle against a foul disease.

LadyBeagleEyes · 20/05/2013 23:37

Yes I agree Op.
It's stories like this that convince me (if I had to be convinced) that there is no God.
Life is a lottery.

LazyMonkeyButler · 20/05/2013 23:41

YADNBU. Sad

I sincerely hope that your friend has some long overdue luck with her illness.

nightingalefloor · 20/05/2013 23:42

My foster daughter has taught me a lot in the year I've known her. Life not being fair included.

No one can control who horrible things like this happen to, but we can do your best to be there for them and support them wherever possible. It doesn't make it any easier to accept though, I know.

AudrinaAdare · 20/05/2013 23:45

Oh. That is dreadful. Sending thoughts and prayers Sad

My DS is five and autistic. I am trying to teach him that he lives in a world full of other people and that he should be kind to them because they will be nice back and everyone will be happy.

In theory. We all know it doesn't really work like that and sometimes I wonder if he knows what it took me decades to know.

My heart goes out to you OP. There is so much that is difficult to understand. Please remember to be kind to yourself as well.

Original poster
JessicaBeatriceFletcher · 20/05/2013 23:50

I don't think any sane person would think it unreasonable and I agree if I had any faith, I think I'd would be questioning it a lot. Must admit, I have always felt annoyed when people say things like "what goes around comes around" and "Karma will get them" because quite frankly that's a load of horseshit!

Thanks for the support, I just needed to vent!!

OP posts:
craftycottontail · 21/05/2013 00:06

I think sometimes it's the other way round - it's because people have had bad things happen to them that they are nicer, more empathetic people.

Xiaoxiong · 21/05/2013 12:47

YANBU. I agree that I have friends who seem to have such a bad run of luck and they are always so lovely and patient and I want to just scream when yet another terrible thing out of their control happens to them Sad

It also drives me up the wall when I hear people claiming that their success is all down to hard work and they "make their own luck". That's just not always possible.

ReindeerBollocks · 21/05/2013 12:50

YANBU, I hope your friend and her brother can stick together and get through this. Sometimes life can be hard but facing it with support and love makes it just a teeny tiny bit easier.

Mother2many · 22/05/2013 04:09

I imagine your friend has many many friends that are grateful to be in her life!! I hope she feels better...and I'm sending my prayers...

I agree...I often see shows from tv shows and people get amazing items/gifts and yet... there are soo many more deserving people out there. Somehow, they pick people that are a bit hard done by...and not those that are seriously struggling... (JMHO)

People that can smile and be happy they are surviving, are often amazing people. They never take anyone for granted.

People that have it all, sometimes appear like, somehow life continues to owe them, because they are sooo darn amazing... GAG...

Kafri · 22/05/2013 10:00

I agree wholeheartedly OP.
my DM has recently passed away and im in thevprocess of sorting through all the practicalities. it seems she had landed in a lot of trouble financially due to looking after everyone else over the years.
she ALWAYS worked hut they were min wage/low paying jobs as she had to find work to fit around bringing me up alone after my DF died. then, once I got to an age where I didn't need as much attention she reduced ger hours to look after her DF as he started with dementia shortly after his DW (my GM) died.
then, just as she can start thinking about herself, she suffered a massive stroke and passed away Sad

im just so pleased I was able to give her a GC before it happened as its what she really wanted and it took us years to have him. I just wish she had longer thsn 15 weeks with him

Abra1d · 22/05/2013 10:03

That is hard indeed, Kafri.

NotSoNervous · 22/05/2013 10:04

I know what you mean Hmm it makes me so angry that kind lovely people who are good people get these problems that cause so much suffering and pain Angry

PostBellumBugsy · 22/05/2013 10:07

I'm with craftycottontail on this. I think dealing with bad things can often give us a better perspective on life & make us stronger & more empathetic people.

Hope the treatment works for your friend Jessica.

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