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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not understand the concept of tea in bed?

133 replies

ChangeyMcName · 20/05/2013 00:33

I've read many comments on this site about DHs bringing DWs tea in bed on a daily basis. Are people's lives actually like that? Every day?
Feel a bit . We have to take turns.
AIB selfish to wish I experienced the joy of waking up to a cup of tea like so many of you seem to?
Or is this actually a myth and everyone has to make their own tea really?

(may be overthinking a tad)

OP posts:

Thistledew · 20/05/2013 10:05

DH brings me tea in bed every morning. I really struggle to get going in the mornings- it takes me ages to wake up properly, I am sluggish, and without my cup of tea I feel horribly nauseous. DH is annoyingly chirpy and bright in the mornings.

When I had to be up early and out of the door even earlier when I was studying, so for a whole year he brought me breakfast in bed as well.

I do bring him tea at the weekends if I happen to be up first, but mostly he comes down stairs whilst I am making it anyway.

This is one of many reasons why DP became DH three weeks ago.

oohaveabanana · 20/05/2013 10:06

Yup, anther one who gets tea every morning. I work from home, so dh is always up first. He gets kids dressed & downstairs eating breakie, then brings me my tea up. Tea drunk, I emerge & take over.

Perfect tag team.

If I wake up earlier at the weekends, I bring him his up, but otherwise I'm not expected to do anything particular to 'earn' it!

EeyoreIsh · 20/05/2013 10:06

xpost changey!

I couldn't live with the guilt if I didn't do nice things for him! mostly it's things like letting him drink beer without nagging . I also do most of the cooking and cleaning, so it does even itself out.

Fakebook · 20/05/2013 10:14

So when people get tea in bed, do they get up and brush their teeth first and then get back into bed? I hate the thought of people drinking and eating in bed without brushing or washing their face. Yuck.

The last time I got breakfast in bed was when DS was born. That was for two weeks of dh's paternity leave, and I got up and brushed my teeth and showered beforehand. DH normally makes breakfast and tea for us but I never eat it in bed.

DaveDeeDozyBeakyMickAndTitch · 20/05/2013 10:17

MrD doesn't drink hot drinks, so I couldn't reciprocate if I wanted to! That said, we do have a teasmaid ... and a carton of powdered milk!

Alwayscheerful · 20/05/2013 10:19

Tea and biscuits in bed every day, we wake to the natural sunlight and birds singing, I love to sleep with the curtains open (DH prefers to close them). I make the tea in the week and he makes it at the weekend. If DH knows I am tired he makes The tea. The simple pleasures in life are the best.

hamdangle · 20/05/2013 10:28

I don't really do nice things for DH in return . He just likes to spoil me and do things for me and that's how our relationship works. I wouldn't want him to do it if I had to ask him or I had to 'pay it back' somehow though. It's special because its unprompted. i am aware that he is a keeper though!

NoelHeadbands · 20/05/2013 10:30

On the days when DH is up and out first, he always brings me a tea or coffee in bed.

On the days when I'm up first, it's 4.45am so I don't think he'd appreciate me returning the favour.

I do bring him a coffee and a bacon sandwich on a weekend though, and the kids get one as well. We generally take it in turns

Ragwort · 20/05/2013 10:31

Changey - that sounds sad . As I mentioned earlier my DH would always offer to make me a moring cuppa, if I wanted one, and if I was up first I would do exactly the same for him. We don't keep a 'tally' of good turns, it just seems natural - ie: I am happy to iron his shirts, he never has to 'ask' me, and he doesn't 'expect' them to be ironed but it is genuinely something I am happy to do. Equally I have never, ever mown a lawn in 25 years of marriage.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 20/05/2013 10:31

I get breakfast in bed everyday atm! I am pregnant though...

In normal life, we would take (unprompted) turns at things like lie-ins and breakfast in bed.

Morloth · 20/05/2013 10:33

I do all the cooking and laundry here and pick up quite a bit more childcare than he does. I also make packed lunches for everyone everyday including him. So there is maybe 1 or 2 meals a week that he eats that I haven't prepared.

I always make sure his electric blanket is turned on in the winter and that he has fresh jarmies under his pillow every night.

We look after each other. But if I am being honest DH probably does 'more' than I do, he is a very kind and loving soul.

He also figured out pretty early on that a good way to have lots of sex is to do lots of nice things for me.

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench · 20/05/2013 10:47

Why would you need to wash your face before drinking a cup of tea?
And wouldn't cleaning your teeth first make the tea taste funny?

Its the cup of tea in bed that enables me to then get up and spring into action

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench · 20/05/2013 10:48

That was to Fakebook btw

iloveweetos · 20/05/2013 10:48

Fakebook i agree!!! i cant eat or drink anything until my teeth are brushed...feels disgusting if i havent!

themoistworld...but your teeth are dirty?

digerd · 20/05/2013 10:49

I've never had a cuppa in bed, except when I stayed at SIL's and she brought me one and woke me up.

Don't like drinking and eating in bed.

Mum and Dad had a "Teasmade" machine after they retired
I like to sit up at a table to eat and drink with a proper back support chair.

Morloth · 20/05/2013 10:51

Why would it matter that you haven't brushed your teeth?

How would your teeth get dirty if you have brushed them before bed? They are just covered in the stuff that is in your mouth.

Now I am not saying I want to snog anyone who hasn't brushed their teeth but I don't get how brushing them before having a cup of tea would actually make any real difference.

Don't people brush their teeth after breakfast?

iloveweetos · 20/05/2013 10:53

Don't people brush their teeth after breakfast?

Now that is a new thread altogether!

Fakebook · 20/05/2013 10:54

TheMoistWorld, so morning breath and a dry mouth make tea taste nicer?

Excuse me while I retch.

Glad you agree iloveweetos!

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench · 20/05/2013 10:56

Well, technically yes, I suppose - though I'd have cleaned them the night before.
But I don't get why this matters? Its just me, alone in bed with a nice cup of tea, fully intending to brush my teeth very shortly afterwards. Surely the enjoyment of being bought tea in bed is derived from the fact that you didn't have to get up in the first place?
Not being deliberately obtuse, I am genuinely !

Calabria · 20/05/2013 10:57

I always get up before my husband so no chance of tea in bed for me. I would happily make one for him but he doesn't want it. Anyway, it would be stone cold before he was awake enough to drink it.

My father makes tea in the morning for Mum and himself and any visitors who want one. It's a lovely treat even if it's me that fetches it as he cannot do that bit himself (disabled).

My daughter sometimes brings me breakfast in bed but she doesn't want to deal with the kettle (she's 8) so I get chocolate milk with my fruit and cereal bars and mushrooms on toast.

Morloth · 20/05/2013 10:58

Standards Moist! Standards, your disgusting tea drinking ways are making people actually retch.

LOL, I wonder if we could actually have a bunfight over this?

People care about this shit.

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench · 20/05/2013 11:01

Ah, ok - I can understand if your mouth tastes horrible in the morning.

But mine doesn't (usually)! And I sip water in bed, so not dry.

hamdangle · 20/05/2013 11:02

But you won't have a dry mouth if you are drinking a cup of tea! I might have bit of morning breath but I don't think the toast really minds.

What do you do in bed that makes your mouth so dirty when you wake up?

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench · 20/05/2013 11:04

Gosh, sorry for making people feel poorly

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench · 20/05/2013 11:05

morloth

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