AIBU?
ro be upset with dh for lack of thought
Spinme307 · 19/05/2013 09:59
I'm pretty sure i'm not but usually things have a way of being my fault most of the time....
Yesterday I was very very hurt and upset by something that happened with my parents and my brother but that's a whole other thread.
At around half 8 last night I just needed some space and time to myself so went out for a drive and tbh a good sob to myself. Dh knew why I had gone for a drive and why I was so upset.
After I had got it of my system I drove home expecting dh to give me a big hug and tell me I'm loved and its their problem not mine. But no....he'd gone to bed and was fast asleep.....the only one there for me was my cat.
I felt so hurt that my dh wasn't waiting to comfort me and that his bed was more important. it wasn't late it was half ten
HollyBerryBush · 19/05/2013 10:02
I find it odd you left the house to be by yourself and have a cry and expect someone to be waiting to comfort you. In a normal relationship you'd have talked it through with DH and he'd have cuddled you if you were upset. I find it peculiar he wasn't your first port of call in such a situation.
Possibly because you isolated yourself he didn't want to encroach on your time.
LeaveTheBastid · 19/05/2013 10:05
If you wanted comfort you should have stayed home 
you can't say you needed space hen expect him to be waiting with open arms when you decide you need him now.
He probably thought he was doing you a favour being out of your way when you got home.
Unless you specifically said "could do with a hug when I get home" them YABU. He isn't psychic.
about your family upsetting you.LEMisdisappointed · 19/05/2013 10:05
I think he was selfish, i would have been worried sick if my partner did this - i would have of course respected their need to be alone, but i would be damned sure i wouldn't have gone to bed! I may well have fallen asleep on the sofa 
but i would have waited up.
Sorry that you are having a crap time.
LEMisdisappointed · 19/05/2013 10:08
I think the other posters here are being a bit harsh - sometimes when upset is raw, you need time to process it, you may want to get away from your usual environment and be alone to do this. I would have thought that once the OP got her thoughts straight, she would have appreciated a cuddle and a bit of sympathy when she got home. I can't see any way in which it is needy.
Yettish · 19/05/2013 10:08
I think he was selfish, i would have been worried sick if my partner did this
I think this is what OP wanted - for her partner to be worried sick about her driving around on her own and sobbing, enjoying the drama.
He had more sense than to play that stupid game.
CloudsAndTrees · 19/05/2013 10:13
You are obviously upset, and there's nothing wrong with wanting a hug and some emotional support from your DH. But by going out you basically told him that you didn't need that and that you wanted space to be on your own.
You can't tell someone that you want to be alone and then expect them to be a mind reader and know that you do actually want them around and at what time.
LEMisdisappointed · 19/05/2013 10:14
Yettish - if the thing that upset her was her DH then yes, you could argue that she was being a drama llama but it was something else, she wanted time to process then a hug when she got home. I think it was pretty shitty for her DH to take himself off to bed without making sure she was ok when she got back. Maybe his empathy levels are on par with yours!
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