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To think that just because I'm pro-life doesn't mean I hate feminism?

812 replies

TinkerSailerSoldierSpy · 18/05/2013 12:38

Friend and I were having a discussion, I'm 18 weeks pregnant, and it was a bit of an inconvenient surprise, considering I've started a new job just 2 months ago.I mentioned that it wasn't going to look good, me taking maternity leave after not even being there for a year, and she suggested perhaps considering there was no dad on the scene and my new job, I should terminate. I felt a bit uncomfortable but told her that I could never do that as I'm pro life and view it as killing a child. She then proceeded to stare at me like I had an extra head and ask me why in a shocked voice. I explained my reasons and views and we got into an arguement about it, the usual stuff, what about in cases of rape and if the woman's not financially able to support the child, to which I countered but is it right for a woman to get an abortion just because she wants to continue a party lifestyle? And she stormed out the house shouting that I was misogynistic and women have the right to their own bodies. Let me be clear, I certainly would never stop anyone from making their decision about an abortion, I just can't seem to get over the idea of it, it repulses me. But I wouldn't judge a woman who got one. I understand the other viewpoint but I can't agree with it myself, and in all other respects I would say i was very liberal about womans rights. When I mentioned it to other friend she said it was my views but they were quite outdated and misogynistic. Are they? I need advice, should I apologize to friend A?

OP posts:
SauceForTheGander · 18/05/2013 18:15

Shock Gordy

CrapsWithBears · 18/05/2013 18:16

I got sent cunt too, thought they were pointing out they'd figured out I'd changed my name. Clearly someone very capable of rational debate.

garlicgrump · 18/05/2013 18:16

gordys Confused ?

squoosh · 18/05/2013 18:17

Well that's just lovely.

gordyslovesheep · 18/05/2013 18:17

Oh I once had a pro-lifer spit in my face, hit me with a placard and call me a murdering whore ...while I was helping a rape crisis service user attend a BPSA anointment - so I've had worse

a nun once kicked me and David Alton once almost ran me over Grin

gordyslovesheep · 18/05/2013 18:18

Oh we can start our own special cunt club!

CrapsWithBears · 18/05/2013 18:19

My bets are that it's a friend of barebranches who, incidentally, is very active on the conception board,which goes a way to explaining why she felt it necessary to freak out on here.

WorraLiberty · 18/05/2013 18:22

Shock @ the CUNT messages

That's beyond rude.

If you're going to call someone a cunt, at least do it on the thread where we can all read it Grin

Seriously though, what's the point in sending messages like that? Confused

VisualiseAHorse · 18/05/2013 18:24

Totes jealous gordy, no one ever pm's me.

manic - I hope I haven't offended you with any comments about rape victims wanting to abort. I realise that my view was a bit narrow-minded in that every rape victim who fell pregnant would automatically want an abortion.

manicinsomniac · 18/05/2013 18:24

those of you asking people to use 'correct' terminology of 'anti choice' or 'forced birth' - I don't understand? The official and recognised terms are pro life and pro choice aren't they? You can disagree but you can't say they aren't the terms if they are.

ApocalypseThen · 18/05/2013 18:24

Well I'm pro choice. I think the only control should be that a woman wants an abortion - she should never have to answer anyone as to why, for as long as it's safe for the procedure to be carried out.

I didn't choose abortion, but I'm 100% behind the right of every woman to choose freely for herself.

EglantinePrice · 18/05/2013 18:25

me too horse, I'm well jell. Want me to pm you something unpleasant?

garlicgrump · 18/05/2013 18:26

Thanks for your reply, Orchid. I don't thing being anti-choice implies you hate women. It implies you want to control other women's lives and their bodies. You want to control women's fertility.

I take your point about action vs. inaction, but again it doesn't hold up to examination. A foetus only has life because of the mother's body: it's essentially parasitical. The viability argument for abortion takes this concept on board, in that the foetus is deemed to have rights to life after the point at which it could survive without the host.

I don't share this viewpoint - I reckon any foetus still in utero is the host's property - but can see a perfect logic to it, for those who wish to fight for foetal rights. How do you support your view that a creature, which cannot live outside an adult's body, has the right to demand such hosting?

VisualiseAHorse · 18/05/2013 18:26

Is a baby's right to life worth more than a woman's right to control her own life and her body? Yes, I think it is

Are you fucking kidding me? You're putting the rights of an unborn child above those of a woman?? WHAT?

LadyintheRadiator · 18/05/2013 18:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

garlicgrump · 18/05/2013 18:28

Manic - because I am not anti life! Using the term "pro life" makes very insulting assumptions about my beliefs! The question is about choice, not life. I'm not saying women must have abortions, I'm saying they should be able to choose. Choice, see? If you disagree with that, you are anti choice. Obviously!

garlicgrump · 18/05/2013 18:28

YY, Visualise. I thought it better to try & stay calm Wink

Badvoc · 18/05/2013 18:30

Op
Forcing a woman to become a mother against her will is tantamount to treating her as a slave or farm animal.
HTH.

emstats · 18/05/2013 18:40

I think it was pretty insensitive of her to bring it up in the first place. Your totally entitled to your opinion and, unlike her, your not trying to force it on anyone else. Sod her.

MediumOrchid · 18/05/2013 18:42

Garlicgrump - can't you see that I find it as insulting to be called anti choice as you do to be called anti life? Much better to stick to pro/anti abortion!

In answer to your last paragraph, an embryo doesn't demand hosting - it was conceived through no action of it's own! It's not like a parasite, which invades a body.

I don't really get the 'can't survive on its own' argument. Why is that the point at which we decide if an abortion can take place or not? A 24 week foetus, which would be classed viable, can only survive on its own with a lot of medical equipment. And a healthy newborn can't survive for long without its mother's warmth and milk - or someone taking the mother's place.

DisappointedHorse · 18/05/2013 18:42

Very succinctly put Badvoc.

VisualiseAHorse · 18/05/2013 18:43

I can't stay calm. This post and the people on it have really pissed me off. I cannot believe that some WOMEN still think it is ok for another woman to become a mother against her wishes.

(I've stayed calm all day with the neighbour's dog staying at ours and barking at everything, and the baby grumbling cos his teeth hurt and OH complaining about work.)

StuntGirl · 18/05/2013 18:44

"I think that it is very easy to be young and in denial in the UK and get rid of something without really having to face up to it"

But you don't have to be young and in denial to consider abortion...I would have an abortion if I were to get pregnant. I'm not that young (sadly) and I'm certainly not in denial of anything.

VisualiseAHorse · 18/05/2013 18:45

garlic is clearly not anti-life...otherwise she'd be asking that everyone have abortions. Which would just be stupid.

hopkinette · 18/05/2013 18:46

I think that it is very easy to be young and in denial in the UK and get rid of something without really having to face up to it

Imagine suggesting that a human being should be brought into existence as a life lesson for a feckless fool. How abysmally stupid.

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