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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be at the end of my tether with "baby talk" from DS aged 7 !! does anyone else's dc do this?

24 replies

MoodyDidIt · 16/05/2013 10:29

ds is a very articulate boy and is more than capable of having grown up, sensible conversations

so WHY oh WHY does he do "baby talk" ???

the only way i can describe it is he talks like a child of about 2 or 3 would. and he does it nearly ALL the time. especially when random adults talk to him, for example, in shops.

it is infuriating and above all, embarassing. as if the adult talking to him doesn't know me, they look at me strangely as if there is something wrong with him, or me :(

yesterday he did it in sainsburys when the checkout lady asked him if he liked school, and she must have thought i was awful when i shouted at him and dragged him away.

he has a younger sister (dd aged 4) and she doesn't do it! she is a brilliant talker and talks far better than he does when he is doing his fucking baby talk.

anyway does anyone elses dc do this and what can i do to make him stop??

OP posts:

DrWhoTenant · 16/05/2013 10:35

Wow I could of written your op, ds 7 does this too he's under assessment for ADHD and I thought it may be related possibly not tho but I agree it's infuriating

thebody · 16/05/2013 10:36

Is he shy?

WorraLiberty · 16/05/2013 10:40

Does his little sister get more attention from strangers than he does?

For example if he's hearing people say that she's 'cute' and 'adorable' etc, he might be trying to be the same?

DeWe · 16/05/2013 10:40

Dd1, who never talked baby talk, went through a thankfully brief stage when she was 6yo. What happened was she went to a week long dance workshop in the summer holidays in which was was the youngest by a couple of years.
The big girls loved her and showered her in attention and really babied her, so she played up to it. Baby talk, head on one side, little lispy giggles!

But afterwards she admitted it was nice to pretend to be a baby for a while. She had dd2 and ds were both younger (and she felt cuter) so was slightly missing the "oh isn't she lovely" old lady attention they were still getting. And she always has been responsible and old for her years in some ways so tended to play the responsible big sister at home. The cute little one was a new part so to speak.
She stopped it gradually, but I tried not to make too much of it, occasionally, I'd say to her "talk properly, I can't hear" if she was doing too much of it.

MammaTJ · 16/05/2013 10:43

My DD age 7 does it it drives me mad. I refuse to engage. So she does not get an answer to her question or what she wants. She soon stops it for a while.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 16/05/2013 10:48

Oh god my dd does this drives me buys. She's now banned from watching baby jake Cos I just can't deal with the constant stupid noises.

Olbasoil · 16/05/2013 10:55

Dd has started this , so I puréed her dinner and gave her a bottle for dinner last week ! She finally stopped laughing and got on with her dinner ( normal not purée ) and has so far stopped with the baby talk ! She is quite a touchy child so it was a bit of a gamble but luckily she took it well.

PeppermintPasty · 16/05/2013 10:57

My ds does it sometimes, he is 6 and they all do it at school. They think it's funny . They are all boys in his class save for one or two girls.

He has a dsis who is 3. I think he does it to get attention. I'm hoping it's a phase....

Original poster

MoodyDidIt · 16/05/2013 11:14

Does his little sister get more attention from strangers than he does?...For example if he's hearing people say that she's 'cute' and 'adorable' etc, he might be trying to be the same

yes worra i did think that. although he gets a lot of attention as well, probably the same TBH as he is really cute :o

glad to hear he is not the only one, but sorry to hear others have to deal with it too :o

OP posts:

LaQueen · 16/05/2013 11:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ComradeJing · 16/05/2013 11:23

My dsd used to do this. It sent me (quietly) potty. I'm dreading dd doing it.

As someone said ^ thread we just to tell her we couldn't hear or understand.

wonderingagain · 16/05/2013 11:28

It is a way of getting special attention from adults but you shouldn't blame him for it entirely. It can be remedied by repeating what he says in a normal voice and sometimes ignoring him when he speaks like a baby. You must also reassure him that he is as important to you as his little sister. You don't need to tell him that, you need to show him by spending time listening to him and playing with him.

Don't worry it's nothing you can't handle!

KurriKurri · 16/05/2013 11:29

Well firstly its quite common for older children to do this so not anything to worry about - it definitely comes into the range of normal behaviour

It's most likely for attention (and if it's any comfort your little boy is clever enough to have worked out that 'babies get a lot of attention so if I talk like one I'll get more attention') His sister may not do it, but in his mind he may think she gets more attention (not saying this is true, just what he may feel) so he is trying to imitate a younger child (even if its not an accurate imitation it is his attempt at making himself appear younger)

So - hard as it is, you don't want to give attention for baby talk or it will be worth his while to do it - so no attention positive or negative, Just ignore, ignore, ignore. (In the shop - you getting annoyed was attention - don't get annoyed because you are embarrassed - everyone knows kids do these sort of things, they will have forgotten it the minute you leave the shop)

You need to reinforce 'big boy' behaviour and talk, And give attention for those, so he finds a more grown up way to get attention from you. (I don't mean this to sound as if you aren't giving him attention - it isn't that at all, - it's about his perception - and kids always want more attention that anyone can reasonably give!)

So - I would engage him in 'grown up type conversation' - ask him what he think about things, about his games or what he's done at school, - things he has to think about a bit and consider an answer to. And praise him for the grown up chats - 'I really enjoyed our chat about x DS' so he is getting attention for that kind of talk.

Make some advantages to being older - a later bedtime, higher rate of pocket money, or some kind of responsible 'job' that will make him feel important and grown up. Tell him you think he is old enough now to do X, Y or Z (something you know he would like to do). Stress (as subtly as possible but not so subtly he doesn't pick up on it!) that big boys can do more interesting and 'important' stuff than babies/little children.

And mostly - hang in there - it will pass, it is very annoying and frustrating, - but there are very few teenagers or adult who talk in baby talk (but loads of them will have when they were 7)

StealthOfficialCrispTester · 16/05/2013 11:34

Ds did these seems ti be growing out of it thankfully. It drove me mad. When I was calm I jsed to tell him I didnt understand when he spoke in a silly voice

Mother2many · 16/05/2013 15:17

My DD 7yrs does it now and then, but I stop it quickly. I don't to hear it, I don't want other's to hear it... I just say, "talk properly"....

CheerfulYank · 16/05/2013 15:22

DS will be 6 in July and does it, not as much now THANK GOD. It is soooo annoying.

reelingintheyears · 16/05/2013 15:30

Brilliant post from KurriKurri.

farewellfigure · 16/05/2013 15:33

It's a phase. It's a phase. It's a phase. That is the mantra for staying sane. Repeat. Repeat. It's a phase. I nearly went mental the other day when DS starting making this REALLY annoying 'Doooohhhh' noise that he copied from a friend. She got it from Justin/Mr Tumble. I was close to screaming. It was 'Doooohhh' every other word.

He hasn't done it this week. Not once. All these things will pass. It's a phase.

Original poster

MoodyDidIt · 16/05/2013 21:36

thanks all

and particularly brill advice from kurri

OP posts:

DewDr0p · 17/05/2013 10:39

Oh ds (nearly 7) does this too and it drives me MAD.

I wouldn't mind so much but he's such an eloquent child.

I think in our case it might be linked to his little brother's speech difficulties (my youngest has hearing problems which have delayed his speech, although he's more or less caught up now) and ds being jealous of the attention his little brother gets as a result. I do try to be fair but maybe need to do more.

needaholidaynow · 17/05/2013 10:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pandsbear · 17/05/2013 14:05

One of my DTDs does this...drives us mad...I know it is just a phase/just a phase/just a phase. But god it is annoying. Other DTD thinks it is annoying too.

Flossbert · 17/05/2013 15:17

I remember doing this myself and all the pleading from my mum would never get me to stop, but when my teacher put it in my school report it embarrassed me enough to stop it.

arcticwaffle · 17/05/2013 15:20

My 9yo dd 3 does it, and so does my 16yo niece, still. She's also the youngest of 3.

I've assumed it's a baby-of-the-family thing. It's tempting for her sisters to treat her as the little one and baby her a bit, they all enjoy that. But I really don't encourage it, I say "talk to me properly". She still does it occasionally, I think her friends do too.

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