To think that you don't charge people for attending a party?

[amiapartypooper]

DH and I have been invited to a party for a couple we know. They are both 40 within a couple of weeks of each other and have hired the local golf for their party.

It's not a surprise or anything, the invite has come from them but says they would appreciate it if people could contribute £15 per couple towards the costs.

I think this is just for food as I do know it doesn't include drinks as the golf club has a bar.

AIBU to think that if you organise a party at a private venue, you dont charge people to attend. If it was a meal out then fair enough, everyone would pay their own way.

Is this the start of a new trend? Are people going to start asking parents to contribute to children's birthday parties soon?

The post about the contract between host and guest earlier was very interesting, because it's the case for a lot of people that going out to a restaurant for a birthday meal and paying for your own food is fine, whereas being invited to a party but being expected to pay is not. I think it's also that if you are going to a restaurant you will be able to choose what you want and pay for it accordingly, whereas with this unappealing new PAYG party arrangement you don't get any choice - you are paying out for someone else's choice of food and entertainment for you. Bring a dish likewise as you choose what to contribute.

If it was my birthday I would say " We are going for a meal, would you like to come?"

I would not say "I've chosen some God awful stodgy pastry buffet in a golf club and I'm charging you for the privilege"

a friend of mine has just celebrated her bitthday at a spa which cost £15pp which tbh I could 1. have none without paying and 2. could think of better ways to spend 15 as a treat to myself but I didnt like to turn her down as it was her birthday celebration. perhaps I should grow a backbone

Going to a spa day is different as she probably would have only had to pay for whoever went. Charging for a party means they are probably making money out of it if loads of people go.