To think that you don't charge people for attending a party?

[amiapartypooper]

DH and I have been invited to a party for a couple we know. They are both 40 within a couple of weeks of each other and have hired the local golf for their party.

It's not a surprise or anything, the invite has come from them but says they would appreciate it if people could contribute £15 per couple towards the costs.

I think this is just for food as I do know it doesn't include drinks as the golf club has a bar.

AIBU to think that if you organise a party at a private venue, you dont charge people to attend. If it was a meal out then fair enough, everyone would pay their own way.

Is this the start of a new trend? Are people going to start asking parents to contribute to children's birthday parties soon?

[MortifiedAdams]

Once I get that invite in my hand, I will let you know.

[ImperialBlether]

I wouldn't go. I don't know how they could enjoy hosting the party, knowing everyone was paying for it.

About Christmas, though, I don't think it's on to expect people to host it and to invite you and to pay for everything, but I'd stop short of money changing hands. Doesn't everyone bring something of roughly equal value? I can't imagine going to someone's house on Christmas Day with my family and expect the hosts to pay for everything.

[Decoy]

I doubt people have party funds in a permanent sense. But surely the couple have always knownw when they were both going to be 40, so had plenty of time to plan or save?

[MrsMelons]

IMO there is nothing wrong with family contributing to christmas dinner, surely that is normal if the same person is hosting each year, I can't see a problem with a pay bar either, I have never been to a wedding with a free bar so wouldn't think about it TBH, I also wouldn't think twice about gift lists/voucher/cash requests for wedding gifts BUT I just cannot believe people would ask for a contribution to a party/christening/wedding - I just cannot think why they think people would be ok with it!

[MrsMelons]

Imperial - at xmas I usually buy everything (incl drink) and our family stay for about 10 days and we just split it all, we agreed we would do it like that as I host every year. I always buy a table favour for everyone as I like to do that as host.

[TheCutOfYourJib]

What reason did you give for declining op?
Thanks but no thanks, you money grabbing tight arse twats?

[amiapartypooper]

thecutofyourjib I went for the cowards option of texting and saying we had a prior commitment but in my head I told them they were money grabbing feckers!

Totally agree re Christmas and pot luck parties. I'd never arrive at a house party empty handed and would always try to ensure I provided drink, food or gifts to at least the value of our share of the costs incurred by the host if that makes sense.

Just skimmed the christening thread too, it seems £15 is the going rate for couples then. I wonder what the standard charge for single people is? Do they round it up to a tenner?

[expatinscotland]

I'd ring up the venue and find out how much they charge :)

[amiapartypooper]

They are members of the golf club expat so I don't think they actually have to pay a great deal for the venue on the basis that they will bring along a lot of cash paying bar customers who would otherwise not be there. I'm pretty sure the charge is just for the food and possibly a disco.

[expatinscotland]

Land I'll bet it isn't even£15/head.

[Solaia]

Funnily enough I have just been invited to a party and asked to contribute £5 to the cost. It's just a reserved area in a pub with a few nibbles. One of the other guests (braver than me!) posted on the Facebook invite page "you have invited 100+ people. If they all give you £5 that's £500. Are you planning to make a profit from turning 30?"

[claudedebussy]

ha brilliant

[expatinscotland]

Haha! I love it when cheeky feckers are rumbled!

[ravenlocks]

I had this, couldn't believe it. A couple organising a joint 40th party, put an invite out on facebook saying they were planning a big black tie bash to celebrate, band, sit down meal, photographer etc and it would cost £40 per head. At first thought "that is odd telling us how much they are spending on their party". Then the penny dropped. Over 100 people were invited and it sunk like a stone. Hardly anyone accepted the invite - and a few weeks later it just disappeared without a trace and no party happened. I was so gobsmacked! It was like they were putting on a big event - like a corporate or charity event - but it was for their effing birthdays.

[ShadowStorm]

That sounds well cheeky.

Bringing food / drinks to a party at someone's house - fine. Paying for your own meal if the celebration is at a restaurant - fine. Going to a party at a private venue with a pay bar - fine. Contributing towards a family Christmas dinner that's always held at the same person's house - fine.

But actually having to pay to attend a party that someone's organised at a private venue because they're either too tight to pay for venue hire / catering themselves or can't really afford what they want? And when there's a pay bar too?

Too cheeky for words. I wonder how many people will actually pay them £15 to go? I'm guessing not many.

[SlimFitWellies]

marking place for outcome.

[amiapartypooper]

OMG, it gets worse.

I've heard through a friend of a friend that not only are the couple charging people to attend but the golf club have agreed to discount their hire and food bill by a percentage of the bar takings.

So they could end up in a situation where the party costs them absolutely nothing or they might even make a profit.

Cheeky fuckers!

[Bunbaker]

Is anyone actually going?

[amiapartypooper]

There are quite a few people I know that are going, having said that, I really wouldn't be surprised if the numbers dwindle as more people find out about the bar arrangement.

[claudedebussy]

unbelievable.

[amiapartypooper]

I know claude I was talking to a colleague yesterday, ranting about the party we've been invited to and she told me about a wedding they were at at the weekend where they had one of those photo booth things. I aways thought those pictures were free and would mainly be of cocks but this couple charged £2 a go!

So it seems even if the cheeky fuckers don't out right charge you to attend, you still end up funding their choices!

[ChocsAwayInMyGob]

Yes, I am convinced this is the ways weddings will go.

With a little cheeky rhyme about how the couple have tea towels and toasters so please cough up for our wedding.

PS aren't we cute because this rhymes etc etc ad nauseum.

[expatinscotland]

Cheeky fuckers only get away with it because mugs enable them.

[greenformica]

Bring a dish would be fine, contribute 15 is not

[HappyMummyOfOne]

What a cheek, at least those asking for cash for a wedding present disguise the entry fee with a twee poem.

If you cant afford a party, then dont have one. They are not essential and if it means so much to you then save, its not like birthdays are a surprise event.