Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

stranger giving my child money

255 replies

trackies · 15/05/2013 22:09

Was at a toddler group with my 3 yo. There was a professional photographer there taking pics as approved by lady who runs it. They sit on a seat infront of a white screen. My child had a turn. My child is very chatty and friendly and likes posing for photos, and he found him easy to deal with. Bit later on my child, who likes attention and chatting to people, chatted to him for few mins, whilst i was there. Photographer was saying how lovely he was and he'd made his day, and then he gave him a gift of £2 and told him to buy some sweets with it. This freaked me out. I was a bit stunned. I tried to politely say that we can't take his money (i didn't want it!) but he insisted on me taking it. As i was leaving i tried to prize the £2 away from my child but he was clinging onto it so i left cos i just wanted to get out there! Got home and explained to small child that should not take gifts from strangers, but it wasn't his fault. I should have done something at the time. I was just caught off guard. Told my DH who said this man should have not been giving money to my child, and agreed that it's weird, but it could have been just someone being nice. But he was not happy. I told couple of Mummy friends who said it was weird aswell. DH said i definitely need to talk to the women who runs the group just to say that it made me uncomfortable and give the money back. Do you think it's weird ? or an act of kindness ? what would you do ?

OP posts:
kungfupannda · 16/05/2013 08:15

Definitely a northern thing Gin

My baby book has a reference to me being "given silver" when I went for my first outing.

And I remember being given the odd pound or fifty pence from older people when I was a child.

MrsKoala · 16/05/2013 08:24

Nah - it's a pub thing!

Every time i take DS to the pub someone comes over and presses money into his hand. The only thing that bothers me is he's 8mo and puts it in his mouth. I have tried to intervene and take it, but apparently it's lucky to put it in the child's palm - erm not very lucky if they choke on it Confused

GladbagsGold · 16/05/2013 08:32

So its a south, midlands, north, Irish, Welsh, Scottish, mediteranean, catholic, pub, old people, young people tradition.

coldwater · 16/05/2013 08:33

I would say he was being kind. My children have been given money from strangers too after speaking to them, usually elderly people. I was in the shop with my 5 year old last year, another customer thought she was so cute he asked me if he could buy her a packet of sweets. lol

SolomanDaisy · 16/05/2013 08:49

How bizarre that your child has reached 3 without getting given anything from a stranger. Totally normal. I can barely get to the shops without DS getting something random. The man who runs the drugs accessories shop gave him a mini twix the other day (we're not in the UK). Do you go out much? Cos it's also pretty bizarre that your child doesn't recognise what money is!

cantspel · 16/05/2013 09:45

I think it is more strange that both you, your husband and circle of friends seem to think that there is something weird about a act of kindness that should be accepted with a smile and thankyou.

What is the world coming to when people look for some sinister motive everytime someone does something nice for another.

SummerRainIsADistantMemory · 16/05/2013 09:51

I'm Irish and it's very common here for older people to give coins or sweets to children. I've lost count of the amount of times I've been in the supermarket and someone in the queue has bought sweets for my kids.

It's just a nice thing to do, they see a well behaved child and want to reward their good behaviour.

Mimishimi · 16/05/2013 09:53

If strangers were coming up to my kids on the street because of yheir overwhelming cuteness and offering them, I'd very graciously accept it on their behalf Grin Later I'd tell the kids that it always has to go through managemen firstt - aka dad or me..

Clawdy · 16/05/2013 09:54

What an over-reaction,OP. Very sad.

Mimishimi · 16/05/2013 09:55

argh.... typed on the phone..

Clawdy · 16/05/2013 09:55

I meant YOUR over-reaction is sad,OP.

melika · 16/05/2013 09:56

I also had lots Irish friends of my Dads handing us money, we were bloody grateful. Dad used to tell us off for accepting. But it was great to given anything.

I wouldn't read too much into it, I think your child must have touched his heart, maybe reminded him of somebody, take it for what it is, generosity.

burberryqueen · 16/05/2013 09:57

not sure if it is a 'Northern thing' at all - happened a few times in South London where strangers wanted to press money into the twins' hands for good luck, when they were tiny - i think they were Jamaican people but cannot really remember.

burberryqueen · 16/05/2013 09:59

anyway it is normal and you are probably over- reacting.

nameuschangeus · 16/05/2013 10:01

I think we've certainly established that it's a thing Grin

McKayz · 16/05/2013 10:01

This is very very normal where I live in Yorkshire. All 3 of my DC have been given money. One of XHs friends Mum gave them each £20!! She wouldn't take it back so it went in their bank accounts.

Your reaction was very sad indeed.

Wallison · 16/05/2013 10:04

he has also had his picture taken by strangers one a group of Japanese tourists as they loved his hair

^^ This happened to my DS one time - there was a whole load of Japanese tourists photographing a local church and as we walked past they started cooing and fussing all over him and asked me if they could take his picture because his hair was so nice! I felt flattered on his behalf and he fairly lapped up the attention.

MiaowTheCat · 16/05/2013 10:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Awomansworth · 16/05/2013 10:09

It happened a lot with me when my twin sons were younger... it was mainly the older generation who would stop to talk to them and would fish coins out of their purses/pockets to give to them.

My elderly aunt does it too, definitely nothing sinister behind it.

ZombiesAteMyBaby · 16/05/2013 10:12

Very normal around these parts.

PeppermintPasty · 16/05/2013 10:23

I love the way everyone's owning it on here, "definitely a Scottish/Welsh/Irish/English/Southern/Northern thing". I think that tells you all you need to know OP. It's entirely normal and has happened to both my dc. I love it!

I live in Cornwall. Definitely a Cornish thing Wink

dipitydoyou · 16/05/2013 10:24

Haven't read the whole thread but personally I think you and your DH are massively overreacting.
Last week a lovely old couple gave my DD a pound whilst we were in the Q at the supermarket as she "looked so cute in her fairy costume" (that she refused to take off post party Hmm) they said she reminded them of their GD when she was little and told her to buy some sweets with it. I remember thinking what a kind gesture, and so few and far between these days, sad really.

dipitydoyou · 16/05/2013 10:25

kind gestures are few and far between I mean! not giving my DD money Wink

DeWe · 16/05/2013 10:46

When dd1 was about 2 or 3, we were in a shop and an old man asked me to pick up something from the bottom shelf for him. Dd1 bent down and got it, and he had a little chat with her. Later we were leaving the shop, he bent over to her whispered something and left.

Dd1 showed me he'd given her two pounds, and whispered to her, ask mummy to buy you a little present.
She was delighted and we went and spent it straight away.

I saw him a few weeks later and we went and thanked him.

He said he didn't see his grandchildren as they were aboard, and he missed not being able to give them the little treats that he could if he was with them. So he looked out for children about their age and gave them a little something, so he could see their faces light up.
He had tears in his eyes when he said that, and he was so pleased when dd1 told him what she'd got, and gave him a hug.

I found out later he'd died a week later Sad

melika · 16/05/2013 10:53

Wish it were a Brummie thing, my DC rarely got anything!!