Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to thnk it's perfectly fine for my 19 month old DS to have long hair, occasionally in a pony and also play with a pushchair?

65 replies

TakingTimeOut · 14/05/2013 15:15

DS2 is the typical blonde blue eyed little toddler. His hair is quite long. I like it this way as does DH. Obviously he has haircuts but I love his hair too much to let him have it fully chopped off. Because of his length I usually stick it up in to a ponytail when for example he is eating a meal because it can flop in to his eyes.

DH's brothers find it 'wrong' that their nephew has his hair this way. Often they go on the wind saying that I secretly wanted him to be a girl because I also let him play with a toy pushchair Confused. I already have DT one of whom is a girl so that's hardly the case.

I personally don't see anything wrong with a boy playing with a pushchair in a similar way I don't see it a problem a girl playing with cars. They think I'm leading him down the wrong path and he'll soon start asking for dolls and dresses.

DS has a pink shirt in his wardrobe too amongst an array of typical boy types - which they also find horrific.

OP posts:
holidaysarenice · 14/05/2013 15:20

YANBU as long as you don't get arsey if someone mistakes him for a girl.

Pink shirts, and navy cord/jeans are an amazing combo!

LimitedEditionLady · 14/05/2013 15:28

I wouldnt care,if hes happy hes happy.

halfthesize · 14/05/2013 15:28

yanbu my ds2 is 4 has long blonde hair, he looks like a cool surfer dude Grin

MrsBungle · 14/05/2013 15:31

Yanbu. My ds loves pushing the pushchair. All little boys that come to play at ours love the pushchair!

People with views like this are pathetic in my opinion.

purplewithred · 14/05/2013 15:32

Are you serious - if you carry on like this HIS WILLY WILL FALL OFF. Fact. Shave that hair off now and buy him a toy toolkit so he can dismantle that pushchair and Be A Mechanic. He can use the pink shirt to wipe his oily hands on.

BedHanger · 14/05/2013 15:33

It's perfectly fine.

Original poster
TakingTimeOut · 14/05/2013 15:34

For the record he does still play with 'boy' toys too. But for the life of me he loves going about with the pushchair. It's only one of those cheap couple of pound ones.

OP posts:
GoodbyePorkPie · 14/05/2013 15:35

Of course it's fine, you know it's fine! Why do you care what they think?

Nicolaeus · 14/05/2013 15:35

YANBU. I bought DS (DC1) a pushchair because he kept homing in on them in the park. He adores it and spends ages pushing it around.

He can't be unusual otherwise they wouldn't make non-pink pushchairs Wink

As for the hair, if you and DH like it thats all that matters.

AllYoursBabooshka · 14/05/2013 15:37

Oh let them drag their knuckles about, my brothers were the same when DS was younger.

I responded to all of their remarks with "That's ridiculous, don't be a Twat"

They soon got bored and went back to picking bugs off each other.

Original poster
TakingTimeOut · 14/05/2013 15:38

One of DH's brothers has an engagement party in a couple of weeks. I think I'll bring out the pink shirt for the party Grin

OP posts:
SomethingOnce · 14/05/2013 15:38

Of course he likes going around with the pushchair. He will, I assume, have a role model for this in his father.

Sorry you have to listen to this sexist bullshit from relatives.

5madthings · 14/05/2013 15:38

Yanbu, my boys all.had long hair as toddlers and i tied it back if needed.

They also had a toy pushchair and dolls and a cooker and toy hoover and dress up stuff including a fairy outfit...

They seem to be turning out ok so far, ds3 is 8 and still loves pink/purple and fairies and sparkles. Thred of the boys have shortish hair now, their choice. Ds1 jas long hair, properly long, he is 13, ots his choice as long as he washes it and brushes it etc.

My dd likes to dress up as spiderman and play with dinosaurs... What is the world coming to with these children not following 'traditional gender stereotypes'.... Shocking Grin

Ps look at the let toys be toys campaign on fb :)

VinegarDrinker · 14/05/2013 15:40

I am so glad I don't know any misogynistic dinosaurs like this.

CalpolInMyEar · 14/05/2013 15:46

I go four toddler groups in an average week. At all of them the boys are fighting the girls for the pushchairs and not one person stops them. My 18mo DS's personal favourite is a pink and green lie flat pram that he can fill with cars and dinosaurs, and having spoken to lots of other mums it seems he's not alone!

He has long curly hair as well. And a pink shirt. What have I done?! Wink

minouminou · 14/05/2013 15:52

Your BILs would shit bricks if they met my DS!

Just sayin'....

A good rejoinder is: "I'm letting him find his own model of masculinity."

which doesn't involve flouncing around like a blond Beyonce......honest guv.

GreenEggsAndNichts · 14/05/2013 15:53

Boys like toy pushchairs. The pushchairs at most of our toddler groups were mostly used by boys chasing each other with them.

DS also has long hair. I like it. Ignore the silly comments. He's little, just let him play.

Decoy · 14/05/2013 15:53

YANBU about the long hair and pushchair.

YABU to call the hairstyle a "pony". It's not the whole pony that it resembles, only its tail! Grin

Original poster
TakingTimeOut · 14/05/2013 15:56

Lol sorry about the pony, Decoy Wink

OP posts:
Decoy · 14/05/2013 15:59

I don't deserve you to be so understanding - just send me back to pedants corner Grin

ouryve · 14/05/2013 15:59

DS2 has long hair - gorgeous, blond and poker straight. DH does, too, for that matter, but his is a dirty ginger.

Some people do take DS2 for a girl. Even when he's wearing obviously masculine clothes covered with trucks etc (so pink doesn't work as a girl signal). I just gently correct them "yes HE ..."

seeker · 14/05/2013 16:01

Just so long as the minute he says he wants it cut you let him.

Beatrixpotty · 14/05/2013 16:04

Absolutely fine.Cut hair when he asks(or when you get fed up washing &brushing it)!Mine play with pushchairs.Men do also push pushchairs after all!

loofet · 14/05/2013 16:46

Yanbu. My DS is 3 and has long curly hair. My DH also has long hair as does my DF so its sort of the norm for us anyway. There's no rule that says long hair is only for girls and same for short hair only being for boys. If it suits them and they like it then what the hell. I also put his hair up if he's painting or eating a messy meal Smile My DH ties his hair back too!

Also with regards to the toy pushchair- dad's push their babies in the pushchair too so why shouldn't little boys role play the same thing? It's perfectly normal and natural and so archaic to say only girls should be allowed. In that case girls should only be allowed toy kitchens and babies and boys should have cars, guns and fake money Hmm Load of tosh! Hate hate hate separating toys into genders!

LadyBeagleEyes · 14/05/2013 17:08

My ds at 17 wears pink shirts and looks amazing.
Echoing what a previous poster said upthread, though, please don't get arsey if someone thinks he's a girl.
I used to run a youth hostel and a man came in with his beautiful long blonde haired daughter, and I turned him away because we didn't have family rooms, and they couldn't go into a male or female dorm.
Except she was a beautiful long haired boy, and ye, he did get very arsey indeed.
I wanted the floor to swallow me up Blush.