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AIBU?

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Original poster

the woman that killed herself over the bedroom tax

164 replies

marjproops · 12/05/2013 19:58

terrible story.

one of the politicians saying on the news she must have had other probs to have done this?

another government excuse to fob off what theyve done?

womans son said she was fine before BT came into fruition. he said its the people in big offices and big houses that have done this, and she said in her suicide note its their fault.

Im really struggling too with this BT , Im sure lots of people are, someone on the news said its not fair especially on the disabled who've had adaptations made, (we're in that category).

so....another fob off by the government, or do you think theyll stop this anytime soon?

OP posts:
Original poster
marjproops · 13/05/2013 18:35

Look if the gov want people to downsize then THEY should find something for them. no, as long as they have their big houses and 2nd houses and all their expenses they dont give a sh***.

no its not fair for a family of, say, 6 being cooped in a 1 bedroom but theres also those wholl keep having children regardless.

and do we REALLY need to get started on immigration when theres inadequate housing as it is here?

in council housing theres the chance to swap, but it can take a long time (speaking from exp), but those in poorer situations, especially diabled etc NEED help. and if your house is adapted for disability then its not fair to turf someone out. or charge them more for it.

OP posts:
alreadytaken · 13/05/2013 19:51

do MPs claiming expenses for a second home face a bedroom tax? I think they used to be allowed room for their family to come and stay with them.

Peachy · 13/05/2013 19:55

Well.

She probably DID have other problems: I would say to kill yourself you need depression, anxiety or similar at a severe level.

you know disability level.

Like her Myasthenia Gravis. Which she could have claimed DLA and been able to fund her bedroom tax for, but not one person told the poor soul.

Awful.

'
I know there may not be suitable properties readily available but surely they need to implement a scheme whereby if you are prepared to move you register your property and you then don't have to pay the tax pending a suitable alternative property being found'
That's been in place for YEARS, I remember leafing through files of swap offers when I was with my Mum paying rent at the council and I left home 16 years ago! trouble is they just don't build for single people, never been a particularly likely to qualify group for social housing. So the housing isn't there.

LouiseSmith · 13/05/2013 20:01

prepares to get shot

But... Has anyone spared a thought for the innocent driver, whose life has been effected by this in an un thinkable way. He was going about his daily business and bam, he killed someone. Suicide is selfish, I agree with Jeremy Clarkson's comments tbh, even though he got lynched for them.

It isn't the governments fault. It isn't her doctors fault, it isn't even her family's fault. Is it her fault, I don't know. No one will ever know all the facts, except the women herself. And since she is no longer in a position to tell them, its a moot point.

everlong · 13/05/2013 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeneloPeePitstop · 13/05/2013 20:09

To have empathy for someone as desperate as this person does not make me have no sympathy for the driver. What a ridiculous concept.

Original poster
marjproops · 13/05/2013 20:14

suicidal thoughts do not neccessarily mean a person has mental problems.

All whove lost people to suicide, my sincere and genuine sympathies.

If it wasnt for DC Id be another one crossed off the list too. and im not mentally unstable, I have a very very VERY hard life, not my fault, I didnt ask or need this.

I hope any of you that are unsympathetic never have this happen to you or yours.

OP posts:
Peachy · 13/05/2013 20:15

Louise yes, I have : I feel hugely for him.
DH worked for a hauliers and knew a few drivers this had happened to.

But I don't think suicide is selfish, because you don't kill yourself in a frame of mind that can process it: people do it often enough thinking the opposite, that they are releasing others from a burden.

And the Government were warned about this; she's one in a long line. So yes I blame them. If people were exempt whilst suitable housing were found in their communities it would be better, but no.

That's not enough.

So yep. I blame them.

As for DLA being an out of work benefit- a dear friend with cerebral palsy claims it to have a Carer do most things for him; to get his blue badge; to have an adapted housing and a care package, he has full use of one arm and his neck. With that arm he employs 11 people. He's not rich- couldn't afford it himself (yet, he's only 19) but one day quite likely.

Far from unemployed though.

Peachy · 13/05/2013 20:18

Marj everyone I have come across who has actually tried to kill tehmselves- and I am in that group, my husband and quite a few people I worked with at a MH hospital- DID have depression or anxiety, or related issues.

There may be cases of course- but I think for the majority, the issues are there, however well hidden. I wouldn't deny anyone's stories on here, how could I, never met those people- but I feel happy to say the large majority do have such issues. I know I did, and without a decent GP and meds I'd not be here now.

I also know how well hidden they can be as a friend ran a charity for people who had lost someone to suicide and she lost her son to it, he was depressed as a result of owing just £300 and developing panic attacks and the like from it. £300. :(

everlong · 13/05/2013 20:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Peachy · 13/05/2013 20:21

Good points Everlong.

There is no need, it's crruel

SirBoobAlot · 13/05/2013 20:33

Everlong Flowers

racmun · 13/05/2013 20:33

Peachy

I know the swap scheme has been around for years, but the main point I was making is that there should be an exemption if you are willing to move.

As to the point regarding not building housing for singles, that issue would need to be dealt with in the definition of suitable alternative housing. It's not behind the realms of the legislature to draft the legislation to cover such an issue.

edam · 13/05/2013 20:38

Very good points Peachy - there simply isn't a ready supply of one bed flats as single people haven't been a priority for social housing. So people are being punished - driven to despair - for something entirely beyond their control. Also good point that it is tragic no-one told the poor woman she could have claimed disability benefits - why none of the health professionals mentioned it, or the council pressing her to move didn't help her to look carefully at her circumstances and take her through all the possibilities...

I think the idea of having a register where you can be exempt from the bedroom tax for a period if you register your willingness to move if suitable housing can be found is a good one.

SlowlorisIncognito · 13/05/2013 20:54

I think saying "she must have had other problems" is a silly thing to say.

If she had mental health issues, she was not getting adequate support for them. She may not have been getting adequate support for her disability or claiming disability benifits or other out of work benifits if some of what has been reported on this thread is correct. The job of society is to help her with those "other problems" not push her to the point where her problems seem insurmountable.

Just because someone says something in a suicide note doesn't make it true, but this is probably the thing which pushed her over the edge. Sadly, she will probably not be the last to do this. The government does not care Sad

So sorry for all of you who have personal experience of suicide Flowers it is such a dreadful thing.

PeneloPeePitstop · 13/05/2013 21:12

Nobody told me about disability benefits when the kids were diagnosed.
That was a vat of treacle I had to negotiate solo...

Original poster
marjproops · 13/05/2013 21:21

Is there ANY way this thread can be sent to Scameron? as if hed do anything anyway, but still........

MNHQ, any way, these top nobs need to see this.

OP posts:
PeneloPeePitstop · 13/05/2013 21:39

marj, they'd congratulate themselves on a job well done

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 13/05/2013 22:30

my BIL had no mental health issues at all......none!!

x2boys · 13/05/2013 23:16

she was given 2000 pounds and offereda more suitable property six miles away i would like to live nearer my family too but canyt afford it

PeneloPeePitstop · 13/05/2013 23:19

It's not a simple matter of desire to live close. She needed a support network and adequate transport links to get through life with her auto immune disability.

x2boys · 13/05/2013 23:20

i am a mental health nurse i have nursed lots of people whotry and commit suicide prhaps it was a ry for help that went wrong

PeneloPeePitstop · 13/05/2013 23:24

You've got to be pretty set on an idea to throw yourself in front of a vehicle.

SirBoobAlot · 13/05/2013 23:25

I hope you're more freaking empathetic than that to your clients. "You've been given some money and a suggestion, so why are you still complaining?"

Hmm
Monty27 · 13/05/2013 23:35

Clearly people who succeed aren't always making a cry for help, they don't see outside the fact that they are useless on this earth :( and that perhaps their loved ones would genuinely be better off without them,

Betty and Everlong, and others with experience, it's heartbreaking for those that are left behind and threads like this must be very painful.

Likeitorlumpit fair play for the public apology.

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