Or am I to strict? How would you have reacted?

[OHforDUCKScake]

My 6 year old son was playing with his friend who is 10 outside. He's a nice boy and they've always got on well.
I was in the kitchen and I heard this absolute wail come from outside that was my son. I ran out and he was clutching his eye and sobbing uncontrollably.
His friend was saying sorry to him and comforting him, and told he'd shot him in the eye with his Nerf gun.
DC couldnt open his eye so I didnt respond, and just ushered DS inside.
A cold compress later he could open it, but it was swollen.

We asked what happened when he'd calmed down, he said his friend shot him in the eye with a nerf gun. His dad asked how fat away he was stood and he said "where mum is now", at which point I had a cold compress against his eye so there was about half a foots width between our bodies.

A bit annoyed, I knocked on his door to as, what happened . He answered and I said just wanted to hear what happened (i.e was it deliberate) and he explained. He said "We swapped guns and I shot him in the eye."

Basically it pans out, it was deliberate but he didnt mean to hurt my son.

Then his mums comes to his side, I told her. She said "Oh dear. Did you say sorry?"

He said yes (he had).

That was it.

I left having to make a point of keeping my chin off the floor. His mum is a nice person from what I know of her but clearly we parent differently.

If that was my son especially if he was 10, who had shot a younger child, or any person in the eye, Id have been livid.

I was pissed off but now Im confused. Ive recently been doubting my parenting approaches with my son, Im having a bit of a wobble. And this has made me wonder if my reaction would have been too harsh.

So I put it to the jury, how would you have reacted if your child had done that?

[NeoMaxiZoomDweebie]

I have to say that a ten year old shouldn't be playing regulary with a much younger boy anyway...and this is only one reason. That boy will be off to secondary soon where he will be FAR more advanced in terms of language and knowledge of things no 6 year old needs to know about.

[OHforDUCKScake]

I totally agree that it was a not-thinking-this-through moment for him, and he is a nice lad.

But people are suggesting he wouldnt understand the consequences of his actions, which to me seems absurd.

[Cloverer]

DUCKS are you saying he did intend to hurt your son?

[thecatfromjapan]

Seriously, though, if you are going to ask for this child to be hanged in front of you by his mother, what do you think your punishment should be?

You intentionally left them with the guns. And you are way older than 10.

If you apply your slightly charity-less logic to yourself, I think you're looking at disembowelling, at least.

I think you deserve to be excused for what was a poorly thought through action. Personally, i feel you should extend that charity to the 10 year old.

[LaurieFairyCake]

I've just looked them up on Amazon and they fire actual darts

How is that sensible for a 6 year old? According to the blurb on Amazon on the advert I looked at it said not for under 12's.

And this is exactly my point, it's not an age appropriate toy.

[Blu]

MrsJ , a Nerf gun missile is like a light foam Li-let.

[Cloverer]

He didn't think it through, didn't intend to hurt - that's childish stupidity not malice.

[LaurieFairyCake]

Ah, cross posted.

Are the foam bullets ones Supposed to cause that much damage then ?

[thecatfromjapan]

Sorry - typed too soon: poorly thought through - but who can wholly think everything through - action and accident.

Really, I don't think I could blame you for this either. It's just a really horrible thing. I would never, ever imagine a toy could do that. I doubt very much the 10 year old could, either.

Heck, who expects a killer/maiming toy these days?

[zoobaby]

Next time they're playing with them, definitely go over some safety reminders first.

[OHforDUCKScake]

"If you think the child should be hanged in front of you."
Before you start being over emotional and dramatic, read the thread properly.

laurie yes, thats right. My son went out with darts, and a dart went in his eye. seriously?

Blu I said above what I would have done.

[Rainbowinthesky]

2 kids unsupervised with 2 guns. Can't say I'm surprised.

[Blu]

Yes, of course a 10 yo boy would understand the consequences of shooting a Nerf gun in someone's face. But 10 yo boys are capable of total idiocy without having ill intent, and do the most awful things to ea h other , apparently out of friendship. Even nice sweet ones. They are still kids.

[thecatfromjapan]

I was being funny, love. Trying to ameliorate what I was saying with the humour of exaggeration.

I agree with Laurie, though.

[Rainbowinthesky]

I assume you knew they both had nerf guns. Children are unpredictable and, well, childlike. It's a lesson for you really.

[NeoMaxiZoomDweebie]

That's right Blu and OP what you really have to ask yourself is the question, "Is this a suitable friendship for my child?" not because the lad acted stupidly but because he's too old to play with your son....now and then maybe but not on a regular basis.

[thecatfromjapan]

You don't do self-blame, do you?

[OHforDUCKScake]

I think you have summed it up pretty well actually blu! Thanks for making me see it.

thecat I dont do self blame? . Let us not open that can of worms.

neo I have asked myself that lots of times. The thing is, they have a mutual friend whos inbetween both their ages so make it work. These tow rarely play alone together.

There is a 14 year old that plays with them, I have to call my son in when this boy comes out, but thats a whole other thead.

[Fancydrawers]

Why even bother posting if you're going to get all pissy when people disagree?

[OHforDUCKScake]

Rest assured Fancy I am not pissy.

Thanks for your intelligent, insightful input though, that was wonderful.

[IfNotNowThenWhen]

I think what OP is asking is how you would react if your 10 yr old shot another kid in the eye.
If I was the other parent I would say "I am really sorry this happened, and a) I think we need to ban the nerf guns when they are playing together and b) don't worry I will make sure this never happens again.
I don't think I would shrug it off.

[KatyDid02]

I would have been pretty annoyed if my son had done that. I doubt that he would but it is why we don't allow nerf guns. Thankfully he's never expressed any interest in them so I've never had to explain my stance. It'd still be no though.

[ChippingInLovesSunshine]

I would expect a 6 year old to know that it's dangerous to aim something at someone's eye/face - let alone a 10 year old. Of course he's old enough to know it would hurt... very odd of people to say he isn't.

I'd have been furious that he deliberately aimed it at someone's eye.

Yes - it's good he told the truth - so half the punishment, not 'no' punishment, but you don't know what happened after you left - though it sounds like probably not much. Still, her child, her call, I guess.

Hope your DS is better now.

[greenformica]

there's no way it was an accident, he pointed a gun at someones eye! He's 10 and not 2, he must have known it was going to really hurt.

[ChippingInLovesSunshine]

Neo you do come out with some odd things

What would you suggest someone does if they have a 10yo and a 6yo - send the older one to live at Granny's?