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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re long haired boy at dancing class

103 replies

Piemother · 11/05/2013 23:05

I am prepared for a flaming but here goes.....
There is a little boy at dd1 ballet school with very (I mean past his shoulders and thick and curly) long hair. I reckon he is 3/4.
There are other boys (ok one or two) at the dance school and it makes no odds to me but his parents do nothing to tie up his hair. Today he walked out of a class actually holding it out of his face with his hands.
Every now and then the dance teacher comes out to the parents and nags about long hair being up in buns and that the main reason was so that when they are twirling around it doesn't hit anyone in the face. She also reminded about it being part of the uniform requirements.
I can see that maybe the parents are waiting a bit longer with uniform to make sure he likes the class (though hes been there a while now) but AIBU to think they ought to tie his hair back?

OP posts:
MartinScorsassy · 11/05/2013 23:08

YANBU, it's a health and safety thing. Long hair should be tied up whether it's on a boy or a girl.

mikkii · 11/05/2013 23:09

No YANBU, our school has a tying up long hair rule, I did not appreciate a teacher telling DS I had to put his hair up, but only because girls (including his sister) had longer hair left down.

One boy with hair all shoulder length wears it up. Isn't this what equal opportunities is all about?

Yes, DS did get his hair cut. Needs doing again now......

PurpleAlert · 11/05/2013 23:09

But perhaps not on a bun for a boy Grin

lolaflores · 11/05/2013 23:10

Piemother....I know what you mean. but the precious little darling boys are DIFFERENT FROM GIRLS....
Didn't you kmow
CLIMBS INTO ASBESTOS SUIT
SITS DOWN.

Picturesinthefirelight · 11/05/2013 23:12

I have two boys and a tomboy with long heir who attend our classes. The boys tie their hair back no problem. The girl got upset when I asked her to as she felt a ponytail was girly. After a chat with her parents I suggested a bandana. It's basic rules of dance and drsma, hair off face, no exceptions.

WorraLiberty · 11/05/2013 23:12

It should be tied back like any other long hair.

SneakyBiscuitEater · 11/05/2013 23:13

We tied DSs hair back for nursery as the rule there was hair below the shoulders must be tied up. We did a ponytail pulled through to make a loop it took two seconds and he tolerated it well. We just explained he could have it loose at home but at nursery they had different rules and uniforms etc. we never did ballet lessons though

tappingonahottinroof · 11/05/2013 23:14

I am a dance teacher. PROPER buns for ballet, classical Greek and national (and I mean proper, as in pins and nets), ponytails at least for everything else. I'll let the boys double it over in a low ponytail rather than put it in a bun, but that's as far as it goes.

EmpressMaud · 11/05/2013 23:14

Of course yanbu. He should have his hair tied back along with the girls.

MrsWeasel · 11/05/2013 23:22

If 3 year olds are twirling close enough to each other to get hair in each others' faces, then you should probably be a lot more concerned about stray limbs giving a poke in the eye or a bloody nose.

Startail · 11/05/2013 23:25

It's just lovely to see boys at dance classes, full stop.

Original poster
Piemother · 11/05/2013 23:27

Thanks all. I do also think that ballet is something very conformist and that if you want your kid to do it then you have to toe the line. This ballet school is very established and serious and does dance exams etc etc. the kids take it very seriously - I just think the adults should equally.
All the kids bar the new ones coming for a taster look very smart and neat in their uniforms with hair done beautifully....except this kid with his hair everywhere in his t shirt and jeans and trainers.....I don't think it's right and I find it a bit rude and entitled.

OP posts:
Original poster
Piemother · 11/05/2013 23:29

Startail - it's really not because he's a boy.

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 11/05/2013 23:30

What you mean he won't do that Head-Tilt flickey thing that loads of the Secondary boys do with their long hair?..
If I was a teacher it would drive me batty and it/they look ridiculous, Hmm

Picturesinthefirelight · 11/05/2013 23:31

I don't even allow kids doing a taster to wear jeans, its joggers or leggings and t shirt. You can't possibly move in jeans.

WorraLiberty · 11/05/2013 23:32

If the ballet school is that established and serious, why are they letting him break the rules?

Original poster
Piemother · 11/05/2013 23:32

70 it's not even that hair do its long and curly past his shoulders. It's utterly divine but he can't see!!!

OP posts:
StayAwayFromTheEdge · 11/05/2013 23:35

DS does ballet at a very strict ballet school. I imagine that if you give it a few weeks his parents will realise what is required and either comply or leave - maybe making them feel welcome and offering a bit of advice would be a nice thing to do.

Original poster
Piemother · 11/05/2013 23:35

Pictures - Grin like I say there are boys there. They wear leggings and dance school issue hoodies when they are sitting around. They look really smart and in no way girly since the school colour is navy blue.

OP posts:
ZZZenagain · 11/05/2013 23:37

if it is important for long hair to be tied back or put up, I don't see why the teacher doesn't just take him back out to the parents and say he needs his hair tied back. If I were the teacher and a pony tail would be an ok solution, I would have a hair band handy and give it to the parents.

StayAwayFromTheEdge · 11/05/2013 23:38

Your uniform sounds lovely by the way - ours is leotard and ballet shorts; I think it looks lovely, but DS dreads one of his friends seeing him!

Xiaoxiong · 11/05/2013 23:46

YANBU. Same rule for boys and girls - hair tied back.

(Can I just derail and ask - those of you with kids at ballet school, when do you start them off? DH really wants DS to do some ballet - he did it when young, and said it was brilliant for balance and strength and helped him with rugby later on Hmm but as I never did any I don't know the form. DS is only 17 months which seems way too young to me but apparently our neighbours' DD is already going to ballet at the same age.)

StayAwayFromTheEdge · 11/05/2013 23:51

DS started at nursery at 2 and three-quarters and carried on at school until the end of reception (compulsory at our school). He then joined the ballet school which is run by the lady who did the school classes, and will be doing his RAD pre-primary exam in May (he's in year 1 now).

Original poster
Piemother · 11/05/2013 23:52

Ours start at 2.5 if they can manage the class but dd started at 3.3 and loves it. They do exams at 5/6.
I was so against ballet for dd I thought it was too girly etc but now we have been going a term plus I really rate it. We are at Italia Conti

OP posts:
StayAwayFromTheEdge · 11/05/2013 23:52

Sorry in June!