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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not book a holiday, as it will be crap?

95 replies

PartyFops · 10/05/2013 18:14

I really fancy a holiday in the sun this year, nowhere far away, maybe drive over to France and get a nice cottage somewhere just for a change of scenery. Although, whenever I think about it, I just know it will be boring as sin and event-less, DH is terribly boring IMO he doesn't drink (I don't want him to get slaughtered, but to join me in the glass of the local vino would be nice occassionaly), he doesn't like long lunches, he doesn't like sitting in the sun for any length of time, he doesn't like going into local cities as it 'may' involve shopping, he doesn't really read, so he wont sit and relax. He won't go to a beach, and he won't go swimming!

Maybe we just have very different ideas of what a holiday is. Normally, we bring out dog on holiday and his day involves around walking her, which is fine and I enjoy that and love looking at different scenery, but I want to go and relax and do different things from at home.

Plus I would need to organise every single aspect of it, all on my own! Which always puts me off!

What do you do on holiday that's fun?

Anyone want to take me away with them?

OP posts:

Pigsmummy · 10/05/2013 19:46

Book a cottage/gite in France near to a town with a spa, he can walk the dig while you get pampered and pop into a wine bar on way back.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 10/05/2013 19:47

Has he always been like this?

Original poster

PartyFops · 10/05/2013 19:50

pigs I just don't fancy doing all that stuff on my own that's all.

He wasn't always like this, we did have fun, but more so when we lived closer to more friends and went out more as a group. We are quite isolated now and I think that's what has done it.

We are hoping to move soon nearer to my family and some friends so maybe it will improve then.

OP posts:

CitizenOscar · 10/05/2013 19:53

Joint holiday with friends? Preferably friends with similar aged DC and DH/DW with similar holiday preferences? Might take the pressure off a bit.

MrsNorfolk · 10/05/2013 19:58

Partyfops I posted the other day on the camping thread about trying to organise and few mums and kids to go camping in Norfolk - why not join in? 5madthings is up for it and she has (obviously) 5 children.

And anyone else who might fancy it?

Can't speak for 5 but I like a glass or two of the local vino wherever I am!

CurlyhairedAssassin · 10/05/2013 20:07

Does your budget stretch to a small gite/cottage in France with its own pool? We've splashed out on something similar this year for a week (not France, though) and I fully intend to get my flabby white belly and varicose veins RIGHT out on display - no-one else but dh and ds's will be around!

lovesherdogstoomuch · 10/05/2013 20:09

oooo OP that sounds hideous. i must admit i could not be arsed. he;s probably a lovely bloke, but i think you might need to really rethink yr hols. do you have another couple with kids who you could ask along? don't book anything yet. i would be bored shitless. i like a bitta culture/shopping/lunching/sunning and someone jolly to do it with. otheriwse i would stay at home and buy a really expensive handbag with the money i've saved.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 10/05/2013 20:09

What I meant was - body confidence issues can be got around. He may find if you hire somewhere for just you, him and the kids that he manages to "let go" a bit and really relax and enjoy himself.

Nat38 · 10/05/2013 20:12

hi PartyFops
You can come on holiday with me if you want!!!!
I have 2 DD`S, we can have loads of fun, drinking, swimming, relaxing, doing whatever!!!

Lizzylou · 10/05/2013 20:14

French Gite with a pool, if he is self-conscious?
No one will see him!

Maybe if he is self employed and has moved away from his friends he has simply got out of the habit of socialising? Just a bit lazy.

The sex drive prob due to his body issues.

Have you spoken to him about all of this?

Original poster

PartyFops · 10/05/2013 20:26

lizzy I think you are right he has got out of the habit of socialising, he works from home so doesn't socialise apart from the odd NCT dads get together ( which he normally organises).

We have been talking about it this evening, and he thinks that we really need to move where we will get more family support and more friends.

I have some really good friends who I have met from work and NCT etc so I go out with them and socialise.

Discussed the holiday thing and have decided to leave it until next year once we have moved and have the added bonus if dd being a bit older and easier (no nappies high chairs etc). He might be a bit more lively then.

We'll see....

OP posts:

Original poster

PartyFops · 10/05/2013 20:27

Thanks for the offers of the holidays BTW!

I'm not sure I could handle a camping holiday on my own with a 2 year old.

OP posts:

Bowlersarm · 10/05/2013 20:29

I don't think postponing is such a bad plan OP. But make sure you have some nice days out over the summer to give yourselves a break together, and something to look forward to. Fingers crossed for some sun....

neontetra · 10/05/2013 21:25

What about a couples holiday? Me and one of my dbfs are doing this, coz of similar issues. In our cases, we love loads of sinful stuff, our dhs love loads of healthy stuff. Everyone is a winner!

AnyFucker · 11/05/2013 11:36

What a shame you have decided to forgo a holiday because of his issues

You do realise things won't be any better next year, don't you?

kissmyheathenass · 11/05/2013 11:48

Partyfops, I feel your pain. My dh is similarly hopeless on holiday but he also hates dogs! He works very hard (obviously much harder than me ) and just want to relax on holiday - no swimming or activity, not much booze, likes good food and hates the shit often served up on holiday. I find it very stressful!

I am taking older dcs on a PGL weekend at half term (dh doesn't like activity either). Then later on we can have our holiday in the sun where he can do sod all while dcs go to kids club.

dreamingbohemian · 11/05/2013 11:48

Why not go away on your own, with friends, this year? Get that sun!

It doesn't seem fair that you have to stay home when he's the one with the problems.

I know you want a nice family holiday, maybe that will come next year, but in the meantime don't sacrifice your own needs.

woopsidaisy · 11/05/2013 12:01

I'm off to google "gite@, as I presume you all haven't done a typo for 'site'!
OP, if you go with friends, especially those with older kids you will have people to help you with DD, you won't be alone.

Mumsyblouse · 11/05/2013 12:02

This is a real shame, I think you need to reconnect as a couple, and find things you do like doing together, even if it is just chatting and watching a film/walking the dog. I don't think of activities as 'I like them or not' but more as time to spend together as a couple (but we don't get much)- so I tend to go along with things on holiday for this reason, so long lunches, sit on beach with book while husband swims etc are all fine for me. I would just book something, a weekend away, and assume you will find something to do all day- surely looking after a two year old is quite time-consuming and rather dictates what you can do anyway?

Ledkr · 11/05/2013 19:09

One if my ds friends was going on holiday and I asked about it. She replied that her mum wasn't going because she hated their holidays because her dh was knobish so she was staying at home alone for two weeks of peace and quiet and nights out. I thought it was hilarious.

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