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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be ? that a teacher told my dd (6yrs) to wear cycling shorts under her summer dress if she was going to be doing cartwheels?

400 replies

mulranno · 09/05/2013 17:07

?

OP posts:
wizzler · 09/05/2013 22:15

Lovecat I agree with you entirely.

My DD is 6. I don't even want to start explaining such nonsense to her

Mumsyblouse · 09/05/2013 22:15

I have never ever heard of this shorts under skirts thing, my girls wear dresses (about knee length) precisely to be cool, wearing horrible shorts with even 2% nylon in them would make them sweat and defeat the whole point of keeping them cool.

I don't wear cycling shorts under my skirts in summer (what if I fell over and accidentally exposed my pants, omg) so I'm not putting my girls in tight not completely cotton shorts to cover up things already covered up.

I am not often amazed by something but I am amazed at this (and not in a good way).

Greythorne · 09/05/2013 22:16

Is there a difference between saying that little girls should modify their clothing to avoid offending one one and grown up women modifying their clothing to avoid sexual attacks?

I can't see a difference and I am against both.

Women and girls should not be responsible for modifying their own behavior in case someone gets a flash of their age 6 hello kitty knickers or sees them wearing high heels.

MorphandChas · 09/05/2013 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

intheshed · 09/05/2013 22:21

Lemons, but noone is suggesting girls go to school in just their pants! Just that, if, during the course of normal, innocent play their pants are unwittingly on display, this is not a big deal.

In DD's school playground I often see young boys hanging upside down on the climbing frame, exposing their midriff. Should I insist they wear a skintight vest underneath their shirts at all times? No different to my DD exposing some leg by doing a cartwheel.

squoosh · 09/05/2013 22:24

'AIBU to be furious with DD's teacher for not punishing harshly enough the girls and boys who are laughing at my DD because her pants were on show when she cartwheeled in the playground?'

Ummmm, no. All a normal person would expect is that other children be told not to laugh and how silly it is of them to laugh at someone's pants.

How long does the knicker flashing last, three cartwheeels long?

SirChenjin · 09/05/2013 22:26

Bonkers. There is no need for 6 year old girls to be made to feel self conscious by a teacher at that age, and no need to wear shorts. If I were a teacher then I'd be more concerned with telling off the pupils who made fun of her than worrying about a pair of knickers on show.

ravenAK · 09/05/2013 22:27

My dds' school dresses are above the knee.

I don't think frock + shorts (if that's what they want to wear) is any different from long top + shorts.

To be fair, the only one of my dc I've ever discussed Immodest Pantage with was 8 yo ds - I suggested last summer that he'd probably be better wearing briefs rather than boxers with his shorts, as he was giving the world a lovely view of his balls as he sprawled on the grass...

MorphandChas · 09/05/2013 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LemonsLimes · 09/05/2013 22:36

A boy's midriff isn't the equivalent to a girl's pants though. A boy's pants are the equiv to a girl's pants.

Actually I should probably admit at this point that my 6 year old dd doesn't wear shorts under her dress and that she was hanging upside down on the trim trail after school and showing her pants and i barely registered this. I only thought of it because of this convo.

I don't plan to make her wear shorts or tell her to stop hanging upside down, but was thinking about this discussion from a "but we require boys to cover their pants with shorts, so why not girls?" point of view, rather than a "stop inciting men's lust" point of view.

olgaga · 09/05/2013 22:44

It isn't the teachers that make girls feel self-conscious. It's the other kids, and eventually, their own sense of what's appropriate.

All those saying "I've never heard of such a thing" - well now you have. Where have you all been? Shorts under dresses has been around for many years - at least since my niece was at primary school, and she's now 25. I'm older than you, the body - it's definitely not a new thing.

squoosh Why don't you try and get a few more digs in about the OP's parenting. Oh please do, it's clearly your special talent.

Unfortunately the OP seems to have flounced, but I'll see what I can do.

Fanjo My DD is 6 and has developed the lovely habit of taking her nappy or pants off in house

Your 6yo is still in nappies?

squoosh - how's that? Grin

thebody · 09/05/2013 22:44

Agree entirely poppyfield and greythorne.

If you can see anything remotely disturbing in the flashing of pants of a little girl doing cartwheels then I suggest you are quite bonkers.

Women and girls DO NOT have to dress modestly in our culture.

We fought our battles for equality. Others are yet to do so.

BeQuicksieorBeDead · 09/05/2013 22:44

We ask kids at our school to wear shorts under dresses for handstands because our school field is overlooked by blocks of flats and a residential home... not saying they are full of pervs, but we have to be aware that is not just other kids getting a flash of knicker!

intheshed · 09/05/2013 22:45

I was comparing a flash of midriff on a boy to a flash of leg on a girl, as I presumed the issue was showing too much skin. So, skin is ok, it's just the actual pants that are the problem?

Still failing to understand what is wrong with pants.

olgaga · 09/05/2013 22:46

Once again, DDs primary and secondary schools both had a uniform rule about boys not being allowed to wear low-slung trousers which displayed their underwear.

Is that outrageous too?

It's about dignity, not "modesty".

intheshed · 09/05/2013 22:48

By the way, I am fully in favour of girls being allowed to wear school shorts instead of dresses (and boys being allowed to wear dresses if they want!) Perhaps that would solve the 'fairness' issue.

thebody · 09/05/2013 22:48

Olgaga in addition I am a TA and have never ever seen this at my first school either. Or know anyone who puts hot shorts on a child in summer under a dress.

I am also a qualified nurse and can say this will encourage both thrush and cystitis in girls. Very insanitary.

Are you British?

As for appropriate?? What the actual fuck!! It's a child playing?

Not a woman doing cartwheels.

ScienceReallyRocks · 09/05/2013 22:49

Where are you all getting these shorts? What type and colour?

I've only seen cycling shorts in black lycra in sports shops, is there something I don't know? My DD will be in yellow summer dresses next year and they'd look daft with black lycra underneath.

When I was at school, girls used to put black ones on under their school skirts so they could wear them shorter, it was all the rage but they were black ones to go under the black skirts.

LemonsLimes · 09/05/2013 22:58

There was that fab boy who wore a skirt to school in protest at boys not being allowed to wear shorts in hot weather.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-13362586

IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou · 09/05/2013 23:00

Boy's cover their pant with shorts. Girls cover their pants with dresses. Girls have worn gingham school dresses in the summer for decades, it is a cultural norm. If girls want to wear shorts and it's part of the uniform then fair enough but not all girls want to be shoehorned into the boy's uniform and they shouldn't have to wear shorts and a dress. People don't wear shorts and a dress. Shorts - yes, dress - yes but they shouldn't be told they have to wear both anymore than the boy's should be told to wear dresses on top of their shorts as shorts are considered immodest in some cultures as they show the shape of the body.

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 09/05/2013 23:01

Olgaga, surely you are aware that MN has a lot of parents with DC with SN? In the grand scheme of things, when your DD is 6, has SN and innocently strips off her nappy, getting upset over DC wearing shorts to do cartwheels seems a minor problem, indeed. Smile

olgaga · 09/05/2013 23:02

Yes I am British! What a weird question. Are you saying you have to be a "forriner" or maybe a Muslim to want to dress in a dignified way?

I have a 12yo DD and a 25yo niece. Both have worn shorts under dresses in (different) infant schools, both both preferred trousers by Y4.

Many schools' uniform policies now specifically mention and permit the wearing of shorts under dresses.

Where are you all getting these shorts? What type and colour?

They are just bog standard cycling-style PE shorts! You can buy them in Asda - two for £5.

They don't have to wear them all day - DD would often take hers off after lunch when she no longer needed them for playing in, but she usually left them on unless it was hot because she also liked to wear them when they all had to sit on the (scratchy) carpet.

olgaga · 09/05/2013 23:04

Olgaga, surely you are aware that MN has a lot of parents with DC with SN?

Damn! Clairvoyance fail.

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 09/05/2013 23:04

BTW, I'm a TA as well, and my school insists on shorts for cartwheels and rollover bars. A bit OTT, IMO, except for the Y6s.

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 09/05/2013 23:05

How long have you been on MN, olgaga? Grin

Any 6 yo who strips off her nappy isn't going to be NT!