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AIBU?

to be ? that a teacher told my dd (6yrs) to wear cycling shorts under her summer dress if she was going to be doing cartwheels?

400 replies

mulranno · 09/05/2013 17:07

?

OP posts:
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stealthsquiggle · 09/05/2013 19:02

DD (6) gets changed into PE kit at lunchtime anyway, as they do some sort of activity every afternoon, so not an issue, even though they do have to wear dresses. Interestingly when they graduate to "proper" games kit (in Y4, as opposed to the t shirt and shorts they have until then) the girls have skorts rather than the stupid pleated skirt that I had.

OP - I agree with the principle that they shouldn't have to, but I guess it makes sense to have an option (of cotton rather than nylon/lycra) shorts if they want them. My DD quite often chooses to wear cropped leggings under pretty dressed for general tree climbing and mucking around at home because that is what she likes.

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olgaga · 09/05/2013 19:02

I think the problem is too that even if you have substantial knickers/boyshorts when seen under a dress they are still underwear.

Boys at DDs primary and secondary schools were not allowed to wear low-slung trousers for the same reason.

Underwear. The clue's in the name.

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OnTheNingNangNong · 09/05/2013 19:03

I wore shorts under my summer dresses, as the dresses ended up tucked into my shorts so I could run easily.

My senior school had a thing about kilts being the right length- mine was about 3 inches beneath my bum. That never went down well, but I was a lot older...

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bulby · 09/05/2013 19:07

Good grief- the teacher would have a dicky fit if she worked at DDs school. I frequently turn up to after school club to find her wandering around in nothing more than her knickers as she changes from one fancy dress outfit into another. She's only in reception but I've seen some of the older boys and girls in varying states of undress- how lovely that no one things anything about it.
Knickers are a cover up in themselves and it makes me so sad that people suggest its somehow wrong if they get flashed.

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SoupDragon · 09/05/2013 19:10

What, exactly, is the problem with seeing a 6 year old's knickers?

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complexnumber · 09/05/2013 19:12

Our DD2 (aged about 4) was asked to put some knickers on (by us) before we went out.

Her response:
"Why? Are we going some where special?"

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ryanboy · 09/05/2013 19:14

I am wondering how knickers expose more than leotards.gymnastics competitions are open to the public, the girls are not allowed to wear shorts over and particularly on bars you can get girls in some pretty undignified positions!!

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BadRoly · 09/05/2013 19:19

Dd1 didn't like wearing summer dresses in yrs 5&6 and CHOSE to wear the boys summer uniform of shorts and polo shirt. No one ever said anything and dd2 now does the same.

That said, ds2 went to the school nursery wearing a pair of his dusters pink leggings this morning as he dressed himself. So I may not be the best person to give school uniform advice Wink

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BigBlockSingsong · 09/05/2013 19:19

I'm going against the grain here, I really don't like children doing cartwheels flashing their knickers, I think modesty is an important lesson.

When I was a child all the kids had these baggy knickers that often showed more than they covered.

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BadRoly · 09/05/2013 19:22

*sister's pink leggings, not dusters.

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LaurieFairyCake · 09/05/2013 19:24

Well wouldn't it be lovely to live in a world where people bought their children sensible pants.

I've seen two extra vaginas this week because people don't. Children footer about with their underwear and genitals and playground games consist of doing handstands for as long as possible. And it's the 'in thing' to wear pants as close to thongs as possible.

The above is 7 year olds.

At dd's school they have the short skirt problem and the girls wear thongs or no knickers (thanks Kim Kardashian). We live on a hill - do you know how many photos of naked bums have made it to Facebook this year? (4 so far)

This isn't about paedophiles or about 'modesty' but is instead about self esteem and appropriate dress.

And yes, of course I think girls should wear the same shorts as boys and Polos in primary and compulsory trousers in secondary.

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olgaga · 09/05/2013 19:26

I agree that at 6 there is little self-awareness amongst girls and boys, but it does develop.

I just think it's about development and learning about what is normal and what isn't.

School is a day-to-day activity. It's not like swimming or gymnastics or ballet. Dancers, swimmers and gymnasts don't prance around in underwear for their day-to-day activities, they wear the clothing because it's practical for that activity, and expected. Just as shorts under a dress is practical where underwear isn't expected to be seen.

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squoosh · 09/05/2013 19:27

Modesty, modesty, modesty. Hmm

There's nothing 'immodest' about a 6 year old girl doing a cartwheel without a pair of shorts under her skirt!

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TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 09/05/2013 19:30

Will little girls wearing cycling shorts stop paedophiles? and is it their job to do so?

That is what this boils down to.

OP YANBU.

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StuntGirl · 09/05/2013 19:36

Exactly squoosh

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RubyGates · 09/05/2013 19:39

Knickers are underwear. The clue's in the name, Under something. If you are upside -down, and your dress is over your head then your pants are not under anything. A pair of shorts is therefore a good idea. Or just wear the boy's summer uniform.

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squoosh · 09/05/2013 19:42

Good grief.

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Goldmandra · 09/05/2013 19:46

And it's the 'in thing' to wear pants as close to thongs as possible

So perhaps the school needs to remind parents that appropriate underwear must be worn if their child would like to practise hand stands at school.

I still don't see any need for shorts on top of knickers as they aren't needed on top of swimming costumes or leotards.

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olgaga · 09/05/2013 19:47

It's not about paedophiles, it's about learning!

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olgaga · 09/05/2013 19:50

they aren't needed on top of swimming costumes or leotards

School playgrounds aren't swimming pools, dance halls or gymnasiums.

It's about learning. Seems very kind of the teacher to guide this DD if the parents don't understand the concept of appropriate dress.

As other posters have pointed out, it's not exactly a new phenomenon.

In Canada and the US "skorts" are quite common in school uniforms.

It's about dignity, not modesty.

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LtEveDallas · 09/05/2013 19:52

DD asked me to buy her some red shorts to wear under her summer dress because even though I bought them 3 years above her age, they are still ridiculously short (she's 8, the dresses are age 10-11 but they are an inch above her kneecap). She said she didn't like 'circle time' (sitting on the floor) because her knickers showed.

Her choice, no-one else's. I bought them for her comfort and because she asked. I really don't see the issue here. If your DD wants to wear them, buy them. If she doesn't, don't.

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LaurieFairyCake · 09/05/2013 19:53

The thing is that telling parents to buy appropriate underwear leads to defensiveness and argument about whether they're appropriate or not. Which is why some schools say about wearing shorts.

I don't think people should be forced to wear shorts under dresses but lots of modern girls pants are high leg/see through/too much like sexy adult underwear.

This problem is far more linked to the influence of media images and modern culture. Perhaps we should be campaigning for girls to be able to wear the same as boys ?

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squoosh · 09/05/2013 19:54

'Seems very kind of the teacher to guide this DD if the parents don't understand the concept of appropriate dress.'

Wow, that's unnecessarily bitchy of you.

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EllenJanesthickerknickers · 09/05/2013 19:58

At the junior school I work at it's a school rule that you must wear shorts, trousers or tights over your pants if doing handstands, cartwheels or playing on the roll over bars. We have girls of 11, taller than me, who have hit puberty but the rule is general as that's the only way to enforce it. Shorts, skirts, summer dresses, trousers or pinafores are all acceptable school uniform for girls. Most girls just put on their PE shorts for playtime.

Gone are the days of PE in school over-knickers. I was in school in the 70s and I hated doing PE and games in navy blue knickers, especially during my period.

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LemonsLimes · 09/05/2013 20:01

I don't really see the problem. No one (men, women, boys, girls) walks around in public in a t shirt and a pair of pants because it's not the done thing. In our culture people cover their pants with other clothes. So why not when doing cartwheels? Either by wearing shorts under a dress if the child wants to wear a dress, or by wearing shorts on their own if they prefer this?

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