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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be ? that a teacher told my dd (6yrs) to wear cycling shorts under her summer dress if she was going to be doing cartwheels?

400 replies

mulranno · 09/05/2013 17:07

?

OP posts:
olgaga · 09/05/2013 18:21

I might add that you can get very nice shorts-style knickers in M&S. They are lovely and soft and last as long as they need to - unlike the cheapo briefs you get in Asda etc. These are the plain ones but you can get colours/patterns too in that style.

KansasCityOctopus · 09/05/2013 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EldritchCleavage · 09/05/2013 18:24

Well, if seeing little girls' knickers is so terrible, they should go to school in shorts. And if school uniform rules don't allow that, why the hell not?

Once again, rather than other people changing their (yucky) attitudes, girls are being made to feel self-conscious, inhibited and 'wrong' somehow. Makes me cross.

LemonsLimes · 09/05/2013 18:25

In the 70s our headmaster asked the girls to wear shorts under their dresses (if they chose to wear dresses, we had no uniform) because he didnt want a "knicker show" when we were doing cartwheels on the field. Grin

honeytea · 09/05/2013 18:28

If the girls are going to wear shorts under their dresses why don't they just wear shorts and no dress?

dimdommilpot · 09/05/2013 18:28

We used to have to wear shorts under our dresses if we want to do hand stands and the like. I had illuminous pink cycling shorts. My best friend had the same in orange.

KitchenandJumble · 09/05/2013 18:28

Absolutely ridiculous. Don't give it a second thought. The teacher's request is just puritanical nonsense.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 09/05/2013 18:31

YANBU to be ? At all. I would hope the teacher just meant well, and didn't want dd to be teased or something, but didn't think it through properly.

If the desired outcome is to stop boys making silly comments, the answer is to tell the boys off if they do: not to make the girls moderate their dress.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 09/05/2013 18:33

I agree with TheOriginal.

But it's a shame girls' clothes restrict their movement. That is sending them a message in itself. I see it with shoes as well. Silly ballerina pumps they can't run in

daftdame · 09/05/2013 18:34

I seem to remember 'school knickers' which were navy blue and a bit like shorts. We wore white vests also. I don't know whether this was because my mum thought it looked better for PE, (as we did PE in pants and vests) our uniform policy was not strict, but lots of people had the 'school pants' and vests. My granny also laughed at her 'school' knickers', in the 1920's they had pockets for your handkerchief!

We also did handstands, all the girls upside down for the whole playtime (2nd yr juniors), we didn't tuck in either.

Goldmandra · 09/05/2013 18:34

We were told to do this by the nuns who taught us in the seventies. I thought the world had moved on a little since then. Clearly not.

If they are all wearing knickers I cannot understand what needs to be covered up.

Some people see paedophilia everywhere they look!

hugoagogo · 09/05/2013 18:39

dd used to wear cycling shorts under her dresses, her knickers were gaping and it was not her knickers she was flashing. Could this be the problem? Some short style knickers are really bad for it.

After that summer I didn't get dresses just 'city shorts' or culottes in stead- much more practical.

Those m&s knickers are a brilliant compromise btw, but be worned they are so comfy your dd might refuse to wear any other kind. Hmm

phantomnamechanger · 09/05/2013 18:42

I think some of you are being naive - as has already been pointed out on here, pictures of little girls at play, accidentally and innocently exposing their knicks, DO make it onto the internet and DO attract the wrong sort of comments. As do pictures of kids on the beach running about starkers.

I am also of the generation where we had to do cross country runs, at secondary school, in navy blue knickers. It was humiliating. I am not aware of any cases of girls being perved at but it MUST have happened. Yes, its the perv's fault not the childs but an easy compromise is wearing shorts as an extra layer - and they dont have to be worn all day, can easily be popped on for lunch/play times as my DD does

i can see the reverse thread "IABU, school will not let DD wear shorts under her dress and I dont want the world seeing her knicks"

the comparison with length of school skirts does not work - if parents sign up to a school, they agree to stick to the rules. In many JOBS you can get disciplined for breaking a dress code, school is no different. I saw one girl in the dentists the other day, her skirt did not even cover her bum when she sat down.

honeytea · 09/05/2013 18:45

I think some of you are being naive - as has already been pointed out on here, pictures of little girls at play, accidentally and innocently exposing their knicks, DO make it onto the internet and DO attract the wrong sort of comments. As do pictures of kids on the beach running about starkers.

But the child will not know and nothing bad will happen to them. I am not saying that it is right that images like that end up being abused but it is the image that is being abused not the child in my opinion.

hugoagogo · 09/05/2013 18:45

I assumed that that these were the knickers linked to above btw.

IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou · 09/05/2013 18:51

I think it does my dd greater harm to be taught that her body is so shameful it requires a double layer of covering and if people make comments about her underwear then it is her job to stop it by covering it up than some strangers getting off on an upskirt photo of her pants that se has no awareness off. It would be nice not to have to think about things like that at all though.

HorryIsUpduffed · 09/05/2013 18:52

I am startled when the girls at the swing park flash their knickers on climbing frames, slides, parallel bars etc.

Substantial "boy short" knickers or just wearing shorts and polo shirt like the boys would seem to be the pragmatic solution. Plenty of girls at DS1's school wear shorts (all winter, with tights, brrrrrrr).

Boomba · 09/05/2013 18:53

My dd just wears shorts in the summer...no need for q dress over the top. Uniform compliant shorts! Sold in supermarkets

Troubledjo · 09/05/2013 18:53

My dd's school has the same rule but because they have a climbing frame with bars, and the girls have been told they're not allowed to hang upside down on the bars unless they are wearing shorts or leggings under their dresses. This is specific to the year 5/6 playground so I can see the reasoning. The odd thing is though, for PE the boys and girls are still expected to get changed into their PE kit together in the class-room so it all seems a bit confused.
I have been struggling to find thin white cycling shorts which won't be too hot to wear - anyone have any ideas?

Machli · 09/05/2013 18:54

Asda for cycling shorts, nice light ones. Or H&M or Primark, though likely to be white leggings rather than shorts there.

Anthracite · 09/05/2013 18:56

My DD wears her cycling shorts under her dress. They are part of the school uniform.

mymatemax · 09/05/2013 18:57

never heard anything so silly, shes 6 yrs old. Surely shes wearing proper big knickers FGS

Troubledjo · 09/05/2013 18:57

Thanks Machli will try Asda. Have plenty of H&M leggings which are great, but she wants shorts and haven't been able to find any which aren't too baggy.

olgaga · 09/05/2013 19:00

Yes hugo that's them, sorry if there was a problem with the link.

The M&S ones are really good and don't gape at all. DD loves them, they are really soft (but still wears trousers because they're more comfortable).

Much better than the teenyweeny boyshorts in the supermarkets.

Frankly I just don't understand why girls and women continue to wear dresses and skirts - so impractical! But that's just me (and DD). I would have loved to be able to wear trousers to school back in the day...

Troubledjo · 09/05/2013 19:01

It's complicated. I agree that it seems mad for a 6 year old, but then when you see some of the older 10/11 year old girls it does seem sensible for them to be aware of the need for modesty. I suppose it's just easier for the school to have one rule for all rather than suddenly introducing it as they get older, which might cause them to be more self-conscious.