to think that this is really inconsiderate?

[SweetSeraphim]

Neighbour one, I'm afraid....

So - next door have 3 boys, aged about 7, 5 and 2 ish... They're ok neighbours, we don't chat much or anything but we're polite.

We both work full time, have 4 dc between us, 7, 8, 12 & 15, and we try and get a bit of a lie in on a weekend if we can, I get up at 6 every weekday, and if we're lucky, we get to lie in until about half 8 at the weekend, it's glorious.

However.... as soon as the weather gets warmer, next door neighbours let the dc out to play in the back garden between 7 and half past. They're really noisy and have loads of really loud toys, electric ride-along stuff, you know. I had forgotten this happened last year, and it pissed me off then - I remembered with clarity this weekend

So what do I do? Do I put a note through the door like a yellow bellied coward? Or do I knock and ask them to be a bit more considerate? Will they look at me like this? AIBU?

Noise Pollution laws are there to stop the worst of the worst. Not the inconsiderate and annoying!

I think it's inconsiderate and annoying to expect the rest of the world to stop so you can have a lie in.

In my child-free, night owl, sleep all day days I did not expect children to be kept indoors to facilitate my sleep preferences.

It's hilarious that having to keep your windows shut in SUMMER is seen as such an infringement of liberty by the OP while she demands that small children have their doors locked for hours to keep them indoors in the SUMMER.

Noise pollution laws also exist to give an indication of when you can expect other people to behave as though it is night time (11pm-7am) and when you need to accept it is daytime and other people have a perfect right to do things that you might hear.

Demanding that the rest of the world be silent to facilitate you is about as inconsiderate and self absorbed as it is possible to be.

It amuses me that on another thread recently, an OP was slated for letting her DD play with a musical toy in her bedroom in the morning because her bedroom adjoined her neighbour's. But playing noisily in the garden early in the morning is fine?

I don't let DS out early but then he's not up early. People do mow lawns though, someone occasionally goes out early on his motorbike, one man has a 4x4 that somehow sounds like a volcano and one set of neighbours always let their screeching, squabbling pair out so I probably wouldn't feel guilty about letting him out if he was up early one day. I wear earplugs!

I agree with all the others who say that your desire for a sleep-in does not trump anyone's desire to use their garden after 7 am.

I do encourage my children not to shriek in the garden, and I do try to keep them in until 9 am at the weekend, and we do not have any motorised toys. But I would be livid if people asked / demanded it of me - I have chosen to be courteous, but I don't think others have the right to demand it. Just as I don't ask them to tone down their evening BBQs because the children sleep at the back, quieten their dogs, not use lawnmowers...

OP - if I were you, I'd buy BioEars from Boots - they are good.

And, next time you see your neighbours, I'd say, calmly,

'Look, I hope this doesn't cause a ruckus, but we like to have a small lie-in on a weekend and your DC's motorised toys are quite loud. Would you mind asking them to keep it down before 8.30am, please?'

I think that is reasonable. If it annoys her, it annoys her. As others have said you can't control how people behave - she can be pissed off if she wants!

at the drama llamas saying 'Won't someone think of the cheeeeeldren, kept in for HOURS by the nasty selfish woman next door, HOW will they express themselves'. ffs in summer your DC have about 16 hours of daylight to paint the neighbourhood red. Give other people a break.

"It amuses me that on another thread recently, an OP was slated for letting her DD play with a musical toy in her bedroom in the morning because her bedroom adjoined her neighbour's. But playing noisily in the garden early in the morning is fine?"

You get that Mumsner is not the Borg? :o

Different times, different people, different opinions. :o

I think people who think children should be stopped from playing with toys in their homes in the morning are wankers.

And I would have said so if I'd been on that thread.

Some of these threads are incredibly anti-children - people who expect to mow their lawn through nap times (as they should) asking that children be basically gagged (and sometimes bound, lest they RUN or JUMP in their own house) because some adults like to sleep late.

We have an 8.30/9am rule in our house, our neighbours either side are in there 60's and quite frankly the noise my two generate outside all day every day in the summer I am surprised that they have not said anything. Both neighbours are lovely and have said that they love hearing the children outside even when fighting but they do appreciate not being woken at the crack of dawn!

I'm surprised by this thread as I would never mow, play loud music or let noisy kids out before about 9am.

Re mowing, I guess you get some 7am nutters but I honestly think most people are considerate at the weekends and wait until mid morning. It's just common courtesy.

But reading some of these responses, I guess not everyone agrees.

I sit in the garden with my children if its a sunny morning. We keep our voices down and there are no noisy toys or bouncing balls.
Our immediate neighbours are pensioners. One side has a noisy dog and the other side opens his shed door early every morning and commences some kind of noisy activity (hammering, sawing etc).
They are extremely inconsiderate, but that doesn't mean I should be too.
I'm very aware that in years to come a family will probably move into their house and I'll be a pensioner. I hope that any family show consideration, but I certainly don't expect it.
I truly believe that people are much more selfish than they used to be. DH often tells me that we should start doing things for ourselves and forget about others. That's what everybody around us seems to do, but I can't do it.

A Thing I wish you'd been on the other thread, it was frothing and ridiculous.

Our DS was a terrible sleeper but even we mowed our own lawn (right under his window) while he napped. I am an awfil neighbour though, I hang my washing out in my pjs

I was with you until you said 'I deserve a lie-in', sorry but no one 'deserves' a lie in, and your lie in doesn't trump the children who presumably 'deserve' to enjoy their garden.

Fwiw I always kept mine in in the morning til about school time, but I didn't feel I 'deserved' everyone else to follow my rules.

I suggest moving house, there is that Scottish island on the market at the moment?

Mine are not allowed out on weekends until 9.30am

I wouldn't dream of allowing them to play at 7.30am

"I sit in the garden with my children if its a sunny morning. We keep our voices down and there are no noisy toys or bouncing balls."

That's what I do.

I wouldn't let them used motorised toys in a built up area at any time of day.

But I will not keep them indoors on a lovely sunny morning.

We get so few of them. It seems a crime to waste them sitting indoors in case an adult has a hangover they want to nurse.

"ffs in summer your DC have about 16 hours of daylight"

OK, let's do the sums.

My older children are awake for maybe 13 hours per day.

My baby for 10ish.

I think if people have to stay indoors when neighbours are in bed, it's going to be a lot more restrictive for adults than for children.

And let's look again at "daylight".

It's not daylight that is the issue here, it is sunshine.

How many days during the year are warm and sunny enough to mean people want to be outdoors early in the morning?

Where we live, so far this year, there have been zero.

And of those glorious sunny days, how many fall at the weekend?

This is not a frequent problem. On all the weekend mornings when it is pissing rain, or cold, or dark, or inclement, the OP need not concern herself with this and can sleep all day.

On the rare, heaven-sent, sunny mornings in summer my children and I will eat breakfast on the patio and enjoy the nice early morning sunshine.

If that bothers you maybe 10 days a year, then tough shit frankly.

I'm astonished at the strong feelings on both sides here.

7 a.m. is early-ish, true, but it's about when we seem to get oil tankers, delivery lorries and parcel vans turning up, not to mention farm tractors bucketing past the house. One of our neighbours starts up his ancient diesel truck at 5:45 every day to go to work. That's life.

Why worry so much about it all?

No way would I allow my ds to play out before 9 am. Yanbu and have nothing to lose by speaking to your neighbours.

I'm really shocked that people think it's ok to make noise at 7am.

One of my neighbours allows her DC to screech all day. It gets on my baps. I would say something if it was 7am. You can't make people be considerate.

at the drama llamas saying 'Won't someone think of the cheeeeeldren, kept in for HOURS by the nasty selfish woman next door, HOW will they express themselves'. ffs in summer your DC have about 16 hours of daylight to paint the neighbourhood red. Give other people a break.

YY and hilarious.

I do limit what my children do if it would disturb other people unnecessarily. But none of us find it absolutely essential and a human right to be shrieking in the garden at 7am. They are usually mucking about doing all sorts of other stuff. No one is oppressed or suffering from rickets due to Vit D deficiency. It's a minor adjustment that makes life nicer for others. But like I said, my neighbour does this and she's a pain in the backside all ways round so go figure

Tingalingle - the thing about those events is that they happen for a few seconds and then they are gone. Loud screeching and shouting by kids out at play goes on all the time they are out.

My view is that people have a right to enjoy their home and garden and reasonable noise has to be accepted on both sides but kids out playing noisily at 7ish on a weekend morning is not reasonable. Weekdays before school is fair enough.

I would equally expect that occasionally people may have an event in their garden of an evening that is a bit noisy and others may be trying to get young children to sleep and that would be okay - doing it a lot and especially during the week would not be reasonable either.

We once got a complaint from a neighbour down the street as the boys were cycling about making a normal amount of noise and it was disturbing his sleep. It was however half 2 in the afternoon of a sunny day in the school holidays - he was on night shift. I told him to sling his hook but did tell the boys to not cycle down that way out of curtesy. He was being unreasonable to expect peace and quiet at that time I think. Why a childless older couple would buy a house in a family estate full of young kids when they work night shift I have no idea. He was a bit of a creep.

Some people have a concept that early starters are virtuous. Consideration at both ends of the day makes life more pleasant for everyone. I don't mix with my neighbours. I have no idea if my neighbors work odd shifts or what they personal circumstances are. There are enough hours between 9am and 7pm for need to enjoy my garden.

Don't get me started on wind chimes though

AaDB - the fecking wind chimes!!!!

I am sure they are lovely if you are in a nice tropical or mediteranian environment. The sun, the gentle sea breeze, sipping cocktails on the patio, the melodious tinkle of the chimes.......

I live in Scotland FFS - 40 - 70 mph winds, rain and general misery for 99% of the year so why has my @rsehole of a neighbour got not just one, but two sets of fecking wind chimes - one metal and the other bamboo - I generally want to take them and stangle her with them :o

Two sets of wind chimes soon? 24 hour nuisance. At least DC are indoors done of the time.

I do not let my children make a racket outside before 9am at weekends

They can play outside quietly, but no shrieking or squeaky (despite copious amounts of WD40) trampolining at the crack of dawn

My neighbour lets her kids out to shriek and scream play in the street at 7am, and they start knocking for my kids at 7:30.

Drives me nuts, there's nothing I can do about the playing out (except seethe to myself) but I am very annoyed about the door knocking. 9 times out of 10 my kids are still asleep then anyway but they keep knocking, make the dog bark (which disturbs the whole household) until I have to get up and go and tell them to come back much, much later

tbf - I live in an estate with a lot of young children - I am rarely ever disturbed by them playing - apart from kicking the ball of the dividing fence from time to time - but not at 7am! and the odd time they go in to collect their ball and don't shut the gate so it bangs in the wind and I have to get up and shut it.

YANBU, I'd say that anything before 9am is too early, but then I suppose if your kids are awake really early, say 6 then they might want to be outside by 7:30.

YANBU - I wouldn't let mine in the garden before about half 8/ 9. I think it's inconsiderate to allow them out to shriek and play with noisy toys at 7. Like you say, lots of people work hard during the week and need to recharge at the weekend.

Of course no-one has a "right" to a lie in - but it's just polite and considerate to realise that your neighbours would probably really appreciate one. It won't harm children to miss just an hour or two of a sunny morning if they can't/ won't keep the noise down once they're outside. (Ie like most young children I would think!!!)