to think that this is really inconsiderate?

[SweetSeraphim]

Neighbour one, I'm afraid....

So - next door have 3 boys, aged about 7, 5 and 2 ish... They're ok neighbours, we don't chat much or anything but we're polite.

We both work full time, have 4 dc between us, 7, 8, 12 & 15, and we try and get a bit of a lie in on a weekend if we can, I get up at 6 every weekday, and if we're lucky, we get to lie in until about half 8 at the weekend, it's glorious.

However.... as soon as the weather gets warmer, next door neighbours let the dc out to play in the back garden between 7 and half past. They're really noisy and have loads of really loud toys, electric ride-along stuff, you know. I had forgotten this happened last year, and it pissed me off then - I remembered with clarity this weekend

So what do I do? Do I put a note through the door like a yellow bellied coward? Or do I knock and ask them to be a bit more considerate? Will they look at me like this? AIBU?

No because we don't run our lives around children's hours. That's the whole point. If you have them you live with those hours and you absorb the inconvenience yourself rather than imposing it on others. Fwiw it's also rude to be noisy in the garden late at night.

I think it is inconsiderate too. Mine weren't allowed out before 9.

We had neighbours once who let theirs out to play anytime from 5.30 am onwards. DH went out one morning because they had woken us up, and asked the parents if they could keep the noise down. He looked at DH and said " Why? It is 5.30am!"as if it was midday and perfectly normal to be outside playing! DH said "yes, 5.30 is still the middle of the night for a lot of us and we would like to go back to sleep!" They were most put out and offended that he had spoken to them TBH, but they did keep the noise down.

"why should I?"

Blimey. Because there's no need to be in the garden at this hour. Because its a way of being thoughtful and respectful. Because it's a nice way to behave towards the people who share your space....

YANBu. They might be mortified. Ask them to go easy until 830 am.

I don't get this assumption that screaming by a child is fine, but screaming by an adult, drunk or excited etc., is not. Noise is noise - if anything, the child screams are clearly louder, more enervating and longer - partic from 3 or more.

But nippy in this country to be out that early anyway.

A thing - If we're going to talk about owing, and you owe me nothing, when it comes down to it I owe you and your children nothing.

If I see one of them wandering toward a moving car, would you like me to apply your principle?

Selfish people are the exception, not the rule, in any healthy society. That's a given - the only debate is how much selfish people should be rejected by others.

I think YANBU. I don't let my kids out on the trampoline until 9.30 on a Sat or Sun as they generally do shout on it and make a lot of noise (also they set off the neighbour's dog!). I think if it is every weekend, you should say something. Our neighbours have the odd party late into the night and it does keep me up, but if it were every weekend I would get dh to say something.

You aren't in Jersey are you? As i remember this exact same thing going up on one of our parenting pages on facebook last summer. and it got mixed reviews.

Personally i think yanbu and i would go spare. But then i sleep with earplus anyway so can't hear DH's lettingmeknowhesstilllivingnoise snoring

"Why don't you keep them in until 9am out of basic manners?"

I don't accept that it's "basic manners" to keep children indoors for hours so adults can have silence for their lie ins.

They are people and deserve the same consideration as you do.

So you make your noise, and they make their noise and we all learn how not to be so ennervated by other humans laughing and talking when we want to be asleep.

And I would have no problem with your teenagers being out in their garden until 11pm.

My children's sleep shouldn't mean that adolescents can't do normal things like spend time outdoors in the evening.

Hmmmm...I wonder if you really would be so tolerant if you did have adolescent neighbours who were playing loud music, singing along, laughing loudly and waking up your kids after they'd gone to sleep.

It's very easy to be tolerant in theory.

I really would be.

I'm very tolerant of my neighbours living their lives.

I find the expectations of neighbourly silence by some to be oppressive and bizarre.

Do you live in a detached house?

I think it's the people who want to pretend they are alone on the planet that need to move into detatched houses.

Detatched by several miles.

Is this an English thing, this weirdness about ordinary sounds?

The way people get wound up about when their neighbours speak/go outside/vacuum/wash their clothes/flush the toilet/put on their heating is bonkers.

A thing - good luck, I wish you a horde of crack dealers, a late-night chippy, and a builder's yard as neighbours.

corygal.

I don't think anyone is bothered about ordinary sounds. Kids shrieking is not 'ordinary' (I have 3, and it winds me up as their parent) neither is drunken shouting at 2am.

Are you on speaking terms, do you chat to them? If so I would bring it up with a cheery 'ooh, the boys were up early this morning I see!' or such like. Repeat every time you see them, perhaps add in'gosh, where do they fet their energy from? Someone was full of beans at 7am today...' etc etc. If they are at all polite, normal people they will tell the kids to keep it down.

Yabu it is after 7am they should be able to play in their garden. As you said it doesn't happen most of the year.

Maybe try earplugs and shut all your windows.

We dont let our kids go out to play before 9 am. It is inconsiderate to our neighbours. We are well aware of the noise they make on their skate ramp and the trampoline....

So that's a no on the earplugs is it?

I might consider earplugs

But I'm really perturbed at the fact that I'm expected to wear earplugs and shut all my windows in the SUMMER because selfish inconsiderate people think its their god given right for their children to disturb everyone else.

Did anyone actually say where they are when their lovely shrieking kids are playing in the garden at 7 in the morning??

Perhaps you could knock up a spreadsheet? Some timings of acceptable weekend outdoor activities/noise levels and hand it to - this is key- all your neighbors? 'Just a suggestion! See what you think' you could twinkle brightly!
"Some neighbors and I (stay vague!) have thought of a few things we may all want to consider whilst we are enjoying our lovely gardens at this time of year!" (You may want to twinkle again here, but go with your gut).

7am: Preferably a silent time, no sounds generated by a human or pet. Melodic birds may tweet. Dawn is an ideal time for meditation. As everyone except selfish oafs know.
8am: Gentle swinging. Hushed voices. Children may not use motorized toys yet (fair, no?!)
9am: Normal conversational tones may resume but please no shrieking until at least 10am.
10am: Motorized toys may be utilized.

Or you could just buy some fucking earplugs??!

"But I'm really perturbed at the fact that I'm expected to wear earplugs and shut all my windows in the SUMMER because selfish inconsiderate people think its their god given right for their children to disturb everyone else."

:o

Nobody is expecting you to do anything.

You don't have to lie in bed all morning at weekends.

That's something you fancy doing. So it's up to you to do it in a way that works for you.

If people being alive and outdoors spoils you lie in, then close your windows and use earplugs.

If it doesn't, as it doesn't for many of us, then you can lie in bed and not be remotely annoyed that other people are enjoying the rare sunshine.

I find it laughable that you think you get to call people inconsiderate because they don't see facilitating your late sleeping on sunny days as their main priority.

I think my children have a right to play outdoors in their garden in the sun during the daytime.

And so do noise pollution laws.

I tell them to play quietly in the early morning, but I will not confine them indoors to suit you.

Neither does the Highway Code require you to let people in to traffic when they are queuing. Things like that are polite and considerate and make the world a better place rather than everyone fighting for their rights. This only happens when people start being selfish.