To scream like a banshee

[CrazyLottie]

... At my 3 year old? Find myself doing it more and more.

Is this normal?

My daughter is rather spirited and she doesn't mean any harm (most of the time!) but she really tries my patience!

Me: "time to brush your teeth"
Her: "I can do it all by myself"
Me: "okay, you have a go first and then I'll do it"
Her: "mummy, you have to brush your teeth like this ... Mummy, at preschool we have a new wendyhouse and [blah blah]"
Me: "that sounds lovely, now let's brush your teeth"
Her: "I know, I'll be a dragon and you be a princess and .."
Me: "we can play tomorrow, it's time to brush your teeth now, it's late"
Her: "just be happy mummy"
Me: "I am happy, but we need to brush your teeth and go to bed now"
Her: "why?"

Repeat every meal time/bed time/getting dressed/getting in the car etc etc.

Cue Mummy losing her temper in a big way.

Been there, just coming out the other side now I have a 5 yo.

You need to turn it into a game, brushing teeth is boring when you're three.

Yup, normal.
I occasionally wish my daughter never learnt to speak!
I find myself saying "just because" and "because I said so" quite a lot at the moment.
She sounds lovely tho, try and enjoy it. (Some of the time )

Because if we don't clean your teeth, they will rot away into black stumps and hurt worse than anything ever...

Or

Because if we don't clean your teeth the stinky breath goblins will come in the night and carry you off to where the bad tooth witch lives. She pulls out children's teeth and eats them. Now open wide.

"spirited" has so many connotations.

Oh, the nightly brushing teeth drama...

My four year old is pretty good these days, but I used to despair of him ever brushing his teeth without tears.

Here are the lines that worked for me (best said calmly if you can manage it):
"When you have brushed your teeth, you can choose two books for us to read in bed together"
"Oh, don't you want any books tonight?"
"I'm not listening because you haven't brushed your teeth yet. Tell me when you've brushed your teeth"
"If you're not here having your teeth brushed by the time I count to three, I will hold you down while I brush them"
"I'll brush your teeth while I count to 30 and then I'll stop"
"Daddy, DS was such a good boy when I brushed his teeth earlier" (then follows oodles of gushing praise from Daddy)

It's horrendous, this tooth brushing thing, and I never thought it would improve, but it did eventually. DS now knows that tooth-brushing is non-negotiable and he can't be bothered to argue any more.

Yup, same.
Told DD if she doesn't brush her teeth they will rot and fall out and all she will be able to eat is soup

Hilarious.

Bad tooth witch is the best. Now open wide

We did go through a phase of actually sitting on the kids to get the deed done

I do realise your OP was not all about teeth... this lovely, chattery, easily distracted stage can be so frustrating.

If something important is supposed to be happening, try to stay focussed on what you are trying to achieve (e.g. "I'm not listening yet because I'm waiting for you to get in the car... are you in the car yet?... oh, good girl what was it that were you telling me?") Otherwise, just allow double the time you think it ought to take to get any task done, so that you can enjoy the chatter and treat it as valuable learning and playing time without having to be stressed.

Greenbananas - thanks, you are right - and is helpful advice. Just so frustrating, I feel like a horrible mother a lot of the time and think my fuse is growing shorter (especially at the end of the day).

I just had a crown fitted and show my DD1 (4) the metal shiny tooth. That works...

For tooth brushing. Getting in the car, having to leave the playzone for a fire alarm grrr, earlier getting dressed, getting out of bed 10 more mimits getting into bed etc are still works in progress.

'Why' is going to end up a banned swear word in this house very soon.

Ohhh you poor thing. My friend has a daughter and I used to thank God I wasmt her when her daughter was the same age as yours and it was constant "Youre the sister and Im the big sister. Come on sister. Sit down sister etc etc etc."

My friend was so good, so patient with her, but if it was me Id have been like a PLEASE let me sit down for just 5 leeeetle minutes!

Although I really hope you were joking about screaming at her. I guessed you were because she is three.

CrazyLottie I'm sure you are a lovely mum! If you really were a 'horrible mother', you would not even be worrying about this.

We all have short fuses sometimes, it's just that most mums don't actually tell each other how close they came to whacking their kids with a frying pan last night! Nobody knows how to wind us up like our children and at this age they find our rage highly entertaining and have not yet developed the empathy to understand how painful it is for us to get angry with them.

Ha ha, twinkle. That's what my (3 yo) DD constantly makes me play! She's such a bossy 'little sister'.

OP, I've started various threads like this. You are not alone!

TwinkleTits - no, not joking unfortunately.

Greenbananas - thanks. Wise words. My BF said to me recently that whilst she was screaming at her DD in the park once,, a woman came up to her and whispered "we all do it, but the secret is to shout at them at home ...", which she found quite funny.

It's not too bad here because I can say "Brush your teeth or you'll have teeth like Grandpa!" (My Grandad, he has a phobia of dentists and has about 2 1/2 teeth left).

I find I can buy me some time to lengthen the fuse if I warn that I'm about to bellow at them

'I'm going to start shouting at you in a minute. Wouldn't this me nicer if I didn't have to shout?' etc. Then some counting.

Otherwise I'm straight in with the bellowing and no one feels good about that. I feel a bit more in control with the counting.

I read a thread on "why?" here a while ago. The funniest one was:
"Mummy, can I take my teddy in the car with me@
"Yes you can"
"Why?"

Yeah I do warn her I am about to lose it and also count her down ... Sometimes it works ... Sometimes she just screams louder!

I guess posting about it means that you're doing it more than you want to be...so, yeah, not so much unreasonable, as just a behaviour you'd like to change.

Maybe if there are flashpoints, like the tooth-thing, you could have a plan up your sleeve about how you're going to deal with it without losing your cool? Like playing a favourite song while the brushing happens? Or telling her a story while you do it? Or you do her teeth first, then leave the room while she does her ow?

It's hard, though, especially at that age, and I have been known to pretend I'm being filmed for television to help me keep it together

Oooh good idea!! I am a film star and I will have a bit of bloody dignity [scrapes around on floor trying to recover some ...]

:o
My favourite from a while back was someone's DC saying "Mummy, where is that man going?" about a passing pedestrian as they were driving along. Mum came up with something like "the post office" which was followed by "Why?".

I am SO GLAD I am past this stuff with mine.