To ebay the xbox?

[loopyluna]

Since I caught 13 year old sneakily playing on Call of Duty behind my back!
His friend lent him it and he knows he's not allowed 18 rated games and that this is not negociable. I told him to give it back and he told me he did.
I just had a mass clear up of his disgusting pit room, and discovered it hidden in his drawer.

He was already in trouble about the messy room (not going into that) but I'm livid about the way he can look me in the eye and lie.

To make things worse, he had a total meltdown we he got home and discovered the xbox gine from his room, flung stuff down the stairs and snuck out without telling me. (He sent me a text saying "I'm out" before I'd even realised!)

I'm planning on confiscating the xbox indefinitely and never letting him have it back upstairs, but just how U would it be to ebay it and put the proceeds in his bank account?!

(BTW, AIBU about COD? I know most of his friends have it but I really don't want him playing stuff like this yet.)

Did he pay for it himself?

If not, why the heck should he get the procceeds?

I wouldn't say you are being unreasonable in not allowing certain games. I wouldn't play them myself as I think they are too violent.

eBay probably a step too far for me. I'd be confiscating it for a month then only allowing it in common areas. The twice repeated sneakiness is probably what would make me furious though. It's a set boundary you have placed and he needs to respect that.

Can you tell my eldest is only 8!

And YANBU about CoD. DP plays it and I think the rating it has is about right.

I don't think you are unreasonable about CoD. DS is only 12 and still 99% in sweet child mode but he knows there is no chance of 18 games here. So I am sure I have all this to come!

Very tough decision. Depends how hard you want to be and how much you will stick to it.

I wouldn't sell the xbox yet. There would be a period (month) without it and then it goes into a public room.

I would text him and tell him to get home immediately and then not engage with him if he doesn't return.

What did he throw down the stairs? All none essentials (school stuff) get bagged up and removed. Anything he wants from there gets earned back.

For this and every hour he does not come home I would consider removing a further pleasure item from his room. To be earned back through chores/good behavior.

Easy to say when I haven't been there though!

Good luck!

You would be doing him a massive favour removing the Xbox from his bedroom permanently. If I had a pound for every young man I've taught, that's not able to concentrate after being up for most of the night on one console or another, I would have retired by now.

IMO some xbox games are rated a bit harshly, but COD is not one of them. I think at a young age a game where you kill other humans can do damage, whereas when you are older and you can see the clear line between real and not real.

I would keep the xbox for a set amount of time and then give it back but only in supervised place for a couple of hours.

I like playing the xbox. I find it good to unwind and it can be a good social activity. However people can quickly turn into vegetables when they're in front of it, day in day out.

He's back. He did come back pretty quickly when I phoned him. He said he was so angry with me he needed to get some air!!

He's upstairs in a big sulk now. No thanks for the lovely, tidy bedroom!
I've confiscated his mobile and kindle fire til the weekend and told him he has to go a long way to earn my trust before getting the xbox back. I refrained from mentioning ebay. (He did buy it himself out of xmas/ bday money btw.)

Oh, to have a toddler again!

I know how you feel, right there with you with three teenage DS'. These irrational responses will pass, try not to mirror them, react calmly, and reach for the rescue remedy. I tried the xboxes in bedrooms, big mistake. You need to be able to hear and see whats going on, also its so annoying that you will make him turn it off occasionally. Move it downstairs until you feel you can trust him to not abuse it and not to lie. Technically he is going through emotions similar to those of a toddler, maybe go back to explaining and reasoning again. Stay sane

I have no idea why COD has an 18 certificate. It is basically cartoon characters. And have you ever watched the violence in Bugs Bunny

You could throw it out the window like a previous poster has done