To feel disgusted that Elle magazine are touting porn star Sasha Grey as a "feminist"?

[Scarletohello]

So I have seen a lot of porn and Sasha Grey is a very popular porn star. Mainly because she does very extreme stuff, for example the kind of scenes where she is gagged with a man's cock to the extent that she us virtually vomiting. And she acts like she is loving it. One of the quotes in the magazine article from one of her films is, " Rip my fucking holes open". It's the most brutal, mistogynistic, woman hating porn you can possibly experience. And she is talking about it as being liberating and empowering for women. I'm no prude but her stuff sickens me. And now she's written an erotic novel and has an interview in Elle magazine where the cover line is, " writer, actress, feminist,porn star".
Makes me absolutely despair of where we as women have come to if she is being described as a "feminist". She is absolutely everything anti feminist to me. Any thoughts? Also if you have never seen her stuff, prepare to be appauled...

Yes Worral I completely agree with you, I think I said mothers as this is mumsnet but I think in our society there is a striking lack of discussion amongst women about the kind of porn that is available and how it is affecting us all. Particularly young people as if that's all they know about sex how on earth can they have healthy relationships with each other? It really pisses me off when people say we shouldn't talk to young people about pornography and sex. We have to because they're seeing it anyway!! I would love people to not be so squeamish about it but to be able to express what's ok and what's not ok. For example, respect, sensuality, fun, communication etc. The kids of today are only learning about the most base expressions of ( male) sexual desire and it is already having an effect on the types of sex, and sexual violence that girls and young women are experiencing.

Here you go, Katiekitty.

I fear Sock's "vivid" memories may also be false ones....

Porn isn't for under 18's

My sides are splitting

Binks, if you bothered to read my comments above you would see that I feel that porn is eroding the natural progression of sexual experiences.

And my view of it is:

You can get injured having any kind of sex.

Most people do this consensually and in a close loving relationship.

Again, you can regret any kind of sex.

They could be thrilled and excited by being treated like a worthless punchbag.

Yeah and alcohol ain't neither but we don't berate bar keeps.

That's because you're imagining that everyone ultimately wants the same kind of sexual experience as you. They don't.

What harm do I think will come to, say, men having their testicles walked on with high heels, to use your earlier example?

Considerably worse than the damage from being kicked there, I'd've thought.

You don't think certain practices carry more risk then ?

You don't think that a 16yo's anatomy and physiology is very different to that of a 35yo woman (who may have had several pg's and deliveries)

You think there is no difference in the ability of a 16yo to make informed choices about what is a healthy sexual relationship ? You think a 16yo starts his/her sexual journey with all the coping mechanisms in place ?

Seriously ?

Binks, I don't give a shiny shit about how much you are projecting about your super-fun, smack-em-up sex life but you sound like one very cold fish to me

Sendingthe clowns - erm, I was going by this qiote from you about your 'son':

Katiekitty, I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but I could ask the same questions about my son being a stunt motorcyclist.

Sock perhaps you should pop over to FWR where you might find some threads that will help you see what you can do, with the help of, and thanks to, feminism and feminists. You could also have a look at some of the books that poster recommend to each other?

Binks WRT to your question about the effects of 'violent' sex:
Effects on 35 y.o? Dunno, really, depends on the person and the circumstances.
Effects on 16 y.o? Well, my instincts and logic tells me that any 16 y.o. who's having violent sex either isn't consenting to it, or is not consenting freely.
I say this because I think it's very unlikely that rough sex is something that people with very little sexual experience should be doing or will genuinely want to do. And, as I understand it, 16 is the minimum age of consent. Therefore, 16 y.os. shouldn't have much sexual experience.

I think it's fairly obvious that Elle is read by people quite a bit younger that 16 (mostly girls, I believe). Young teenagers can be quite confused and vulnerable, particularly about sex. (I'm not sure if you're aware of this, Binks.) Also, quite a lot of young people have difficulties setting boundaries. If magazines like Elle are putting across messages that it's 'empowering' for girls to engage in, or accept rough sex which is likely to hurt them physically and possibly be really unpleasant for them, AND galvanise any belief that it's normal, acceptable or even desirable to be physically and verbally hurt and abused, I think this is a bad thing.

Binks, I don't mean this rudely, but you sound as if you have quite a sheltered life and aren't really aware that for many people, especially young people, the world's not such a safe place as it seems to be for you.

I don't think we're ever going to agree on this. And I don't think that either of us is entirely right or wrong.

I shall refrain from comparing you to a fish though, cheeky!

Binks

What are the chances of getting injured from vaginal sex?

Violent sex? (gagging-oral or violent vaginal, or violent anal?)

The clue is in the question.

I'll spell it out for you as you're not seeing it:

V I O L E N T

That help you any?

No turnip.it turned into quite a unpleasant bun fight.

Granted I tend to lurk in aibu and only occasionally stray into other topics I expect that may be why when I read threads like that they do tend to be rather hostile.

But I was asking because I'm interested, and fwiw I don't watch any porn ever and I don't have violent sex well I don't have any sex usually (only twice since the beginning of 2011). I have genuinely only ever seen threads about feminism saying what you can't do and be one and its usually appearance related or pornography related and they do tend to get quite heated.

No I have most certainly not led a sheltered life. Not at all.

Elle magazine, as far as I know, is read by young women.

By young, I mean 16 - 25.

But you can get injured doing all kinds of shit. Why are you not protesting that?

It definitely seems like Elle magazine are taking the porn pound to stay afloat.

I don't think we're ever going to agree on this.

We might do sometime, Binks. Nobody need have a fixed viewpoint. (See my answer to Sock's question on feminists, above .
Still happy to read anything else you have to say )

Binks, do you think the people disagreeing with you on this thread have had a "sheltered life" and we simply don't understand that getting injured during sex is something that we could never understand in our poor state of enlightenment ?

Boxing. Why don't you protest against boxing. Tom Hardy made a film about MMA and he was a right bloody mess at the end of it. What's that encouraging? It might be an eighteen, but what's to stop younger people watching it? Why aren't you all up in his grill for being generally misanthropic?

No I have most certainly not led a sheltered life. Not at all.

And you're completely unshockable, right?

What like Binks?

Baking and being rogered by a rolling pin?

Gardening and being double fucked by a hose and a trowel?

Is this what you mean?

Binks - this thread isn't about boxing.

Yeah, and we could all get run over by a bus tomorrow....

Lazy, lazy argument