to issue a helpful ear piercing decision making flowchart?

[ICBINEG]

Here it is:

Do the ears you are thinking of piercing belong to you?
Yes = go to [A]
No = go to [B]

[A] Are they located on your own personal body?
Yes = go to [C]
No = go to [D]

[B] What the fuck? You want to pierce ears belonging to someone else? Are you mad? Other people should really have the choice over the state of their own ears don't you think? I mean would you be okay with someone randomly attacking you with a piercing gun in the street? No I didn't think so. Do NOT do this.

[C] Good luck with your decision, I couldn't care less what you choose to do. I hope you enjoy the outcome.

[D] What the fuck? You think someone else's ears belong to you? Are you into owning people? Or slavery? Or do you have some other sort of issue that makes you think that other people's bodies belong to you? Do NOT do this and remember that evil starts with treating people as possessions....and that includes children.

[NinaHeart]

What about that mouse that grew an experimental ear on its back? Whose ear was that?

[StuntGirl]

Reputable piercers will not pierce under the age of 18. You can know you want it doing before then, but if you want it doing properly you'd be wise to allow a professional to do it and not any old monkey wielding an unsterilised device.

[MadRambler]

I visited a friend the other day to see her new baby. Her DD was 24 hours old and already had her ears pierced. So sad.

Do I win???

(exclaimer - I live in Spain) (but still loathe the practice)

[OldBeanbagz]

StuntGirl the piercing will be done by a reputable beautician who comes highly recommended. I haven't booked it yet but will certainly ask if she's using a needle or a ear piercing gun.

[HoneyDragon]

Where do we stand on the issues of 5 years olds and them splitting their own ear into two pieces and thus starting the journey into body modification very young?

[SamuelWestsMistress]

What happens if its an ear being grown on the back of a lab rat?

[SamuelWestsMistress]

UH OES! Crossed threads with Nina.

I shall retreat into my hobbit hole. Tis full of ears.

[HoHoHoNoYouDont]

Someone please do one for parking in a P&C space

[StuntGirl]

Beautician =/= piercer.

She will be using a gun I can guarantee it.

[VAVAV00M]

For a horror story:

I got mine pierced at 4 (asked for it) a couple months later I fell out of bed the earring had tangled around thread from bedding and ripped up to about tragus area, I woke up seen blood ripped the cover ripping it down, more blood the looked in my disney princess mirror to see my ear dangling off with blood, screamed, threw up and landed in a pool of blood and vomit. Dad had to call an ambulance for me as middle of the night (and for my mum she threw up too!) stitched back on, have a lob sided ear though but not noticeable.

It is a tale that goes around my area when a little girl wants hers done!

I am ok and find the story amusing, I only remember ripping the cover, the blood and the mirror part, dad told me the rest. Not actually that painful, felt like a bee sting.

[ICBINEG]

Vavoom whoa! that sounds dramatic! will definitely store that one for future reference :)

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

What if it's an ear of wheat, or corn or similar?

[ICBINEG]

I am so very much not brave enough to take on parking...

[HollyBerryBush]

I have spotted the flaw in your OP

Do the ears you are thinking of piercing belong to you?
Yes = go to [A]
No = go to [B]

what if:
~~You are the gun operative for said piercing parlour? ears don't belong to you!
~~you are 14 and you mate has produced a bar of soap, a darning needle and a cork and wants you to do it for her?

[ICBINEG]

gnghghgh okay how about if I insert

'Is the ear human and attached to its original owner?'

Gah that is all manner of weird...no-one not on MN would EVER start a flow chart with that!

I am sure MNHQ would back me up on that...

[foreverondiet]

Ears belonging to 9 year old dd begging to have them done? If child wants to have them done with no pinning down or bribery and the parent us happy with it then surely it's fine??

[ICBINEG]

Okay we shall also need to add 'is ear piercing part of your professional role?'

Yes = consider getting a real Job that doesn't involve cashing in on the cosmetics industries deliberate undermining of peoples body confidence.

ooohhhh that stings...like a bee....or a ripped out 5 year olds piercing...

[ICBINEG]

Right well it's not like it is actually up to me...but in the world according to ICBINEG, Anyone younger than 12 yos need protecting from making choices they are not old enough to understand....because your brain is not done baking till you do puberty etc.

some 14 years and over have a fair stab at making informed choices, but not all....

and the whole 12-14 is something I am going to wait and see on.

[TheVermiciousKnid]

I think you are ovearthinking this.

[ICBINEG]

Just warming up the grey cells for the P&C parking version...

[quoteunquote]

ICBINEG

If I grow an ear on the back of a mouse to transplant on to my head, can I pierce it in advance?

[ZebraOwl]

Am trying to work out if OP is very brave, very foolish, or some charming mixture of the two.

Good luck with this one, ICBINEG...

[ICBINEG]

quote what did mice ever do to you? grow your own extra ear you lazy sod!

[TheChaoGoesMu]

What if I want to pierce dd's barbie dolls ears? Where do the ears of an inanimate object fit into your flow chart?

[quoteunquote]

Well the mouse was touting for work, I thought I would be doing it a favour,

I just thought you should include this possibility in your most excellence flow chart.