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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let Ds1 (5) play on the beach shoreline on his own

24 replies

dribbleface · 07/05/2013 11:18

Sounds worse than it is. At the beach yesterday, was a quiet bit. I was on a blanket with ds2 (who refused to set foot on the sand) ds1 was having fun running up and down the beach and just in the edge of the sea paddling/dipping his toes , he wouldn't go in, far too cold and he's a wuss.

It occurred to me was that terribly irresponsible, could see him at all times.

I am usually was OTT with safety, trying to relax a bit and allow him a bit of freedom.

OP posts:

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 07/05/2013 11:19

Why was that irresponsible? What do you think might happen?

Original poster

dribbleface · 07/05/2013 11:21

Don't know, just felt odd, wondered if I had lost my common sense. Like I said I'm Ott!

OP posts:

Stressedtothehilt · 07/05/2013 11:23

My dd1 is 9 next week she surfs and I always watch her from the shoreline as I'm petrified someone will surf into her! Bit when she bought her boars back in she took a foam body board back out and I went and sat down on the beach and relaxed she's a strong swimmer and knows not to go out far. Was first time Uve done it and I worried but sometimes you have to relax a bit. And no yanbu!

mrsjay · 07/05/2013 11:23

why was it irresponsible he was safe you could see him you did nothing wrong chill I am just you had beach weather

LazyMonkeyButler · 07/05/2013 11:26

So long as he was constantly in sight & not venturing into the water (above about knee level) then no, YANBU.

Not at all . Relax.

Sirzy · 07/05/2013 11:27

I don't think I would have, but realistically as long as he knows not to go into the water alone and you can always see him/he can hear you shout then its not going to be a problem.

Original poster

dribbleface · 07/05/2013 11:27

mrsjay - I am very red, the kids may have had ten tonne of suncream on but I missed my arms!

OP posts:

mrsjay · 07/05/2013 11:27

as long as they can see and hear you then I think it is fine that was always my marker if they could hear my holler then they were ok,

wonderingagain · 07/05/2013 11:28

I loved watching dd at the beach, it was safe, I could see her even if she got quite far from me but I could see she was enjoying that freedom of just being there without an adult. It does feel a bit odd when you see your child like that when you are usually right by them, but it's a good feeling.

mrsjay · 07/05/2013 11:28

mrsjay - I am very red, the kids may have had ten tonne of suncream on but I missed my arms!

why do we smother kids in cream then forget ourselves I do that

Original poster

dribbleface · 07/05/2013 11:29

sirzy - no way he would go in. He's never been the sort to wander off, even as a toddler. DS2 is a different kettle of fish.

OP posts:

Original poster

dribbleface · 07/05/2013 11:31

Wonderingagain - was nice to see him, your right.

OP posts:

Original poster

dribbleface · 07/05/2013 11:32

you're not your

OP posts:

jacks365 · 07/05/2013 11:32

For me there's no hard and fast rule. If you are close by on a quiet beach then i'd sit back and watch. If too many people or waters edge too far i'd be stood at waters edge myself. Go with what feels right for the situation

Original poster

dribbleface · 07/05/2013 11:33

DH was very surprised I managed it. Not my usual parenting style, need to relax a bit.

OP posts:

wonderingagain · 07/05/2013 11:35

It's called letting go. You'll have another 20 years of it, but it's as important as holding on.

Original poster

dribbleface · 07/05/2013 11:37

I'm learning! He has his first school trip next week, and I am not even contemplating following them

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MoominsYonisAreScary · 07/05/2013 11:42

A couple of years ago when ds2 was 7 he was following dps footsteps in the wet sand and the sea came in and took his feet from under him then as it went out started to take him with it.

He's a strong swimmer but dp had to drag him up as he wasjust rolling along. Gave him a bit of a shock but he laughs about it now.

I think as long as you are close enough to be able to get to him quickly it's fine

LibertineLover · 07/05/2013 11:49

Yes, that's happened to my DS moomin the tide was going out, so we felt fine just watching him (5) then a big wave came and started to drag him, he fell over,luckily, I'd seen the wave building so was on my way and had time to grab his arm! Gave him and me quite a fright though.

Original poster

dribbleface · 07/05/2013 11:51

Eek! But very gentle section of the beach, been to that beach for past 30 years so know it well. Wouldn't feel as comfortable on a shore I didn't know so well.

OP posts:

LibertineLover · 07/05/2013 11:56

Sorry dribble!! You were doing so well too! You know the beach and how unpredictable it's likely/not to be, as you were, I'm sure it's absolutely fine :)

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 07/05/2013 12:23

I'm not sure why you think YWBU - you could see him at all times, next to a gentle beach, you have been visiting for 30 years? It sounds like you were very close by - not the opposite end of the beach, and there are no big waves. And he's v unlikely to go in the water. I'm not sure what the problem is!

Original poster

dribbleface · 07/05/2013 12:27

Cake - not sure just felt weird and had visions of coming on mnet and seeing a thread titled aibu to think this mother should have been with her son! Guess its odd letting go, realising he's not a toddler anymore.

OP posts:

Mumsyblouse · 07/05/2013 12:33

I think this is fine HOWEVER I have to confess to also being more neurotic on the beach than if we were say in a nice contained park, and the following things make me anxious: lots of kids in the water so you can't spot your own, children wandering off away from their designated spot along the shore collecting shells then not being able to find you and so on. I have lost mine for a good few minutes on the shoreline when little and it is scary.

I decided both mine had to learn to swim as a matter of urgency (which they have) and now they are older, it's nice to be able to relax rather than constantly watch them- I can trust they will stay between the groynes/flags. But- they still have to swim along the shoreline, and not out to sea.

Every year children have to be rescued from dingys who have floated out, and tides can be unpredictable, so I take more care by the water than perhaps in other settings.

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