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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have put my child in a high vis jacket at the park ?

141 replies

Shinyshoes1 · 07/05/2013 07:45

We went to the park yesterday it gets pretty packed . There's a closed off area with all the swings , slides etc in and there must have been about 50 children in there .

My friend came with her children and the little ones went and played we sat and had a picnic

The little ones were in the play area with my friends 12 yo daughter but after a while all the children blend into one another and I get panicky if I can't see my daughter straight away do I put a hi vis bib on her .
Straight way I could pick her out from the crowd

My friend thought this terrible , even saying it was cruel as she's " never ever in her life seen a child in a high vis bib before at the park"

My dd is in a school trip today and I'm thinking of putting the bib on her today , just so she stands out and is visible to the teachers amongst 30 other children
She is 5 yo

AIBU and OTT !???

OP posts:

Lonecatwithkitten · 07/05/2013 09:38

I think it is a good idea to talk to the teacher about how the trip will be structured. At this age at DD's school the 4 children were allocated to each adult on the trip so rather than one adult looking for 30 kids they were only looking out for 4. Knowledge of this will probably make you more reassured.

rambososcar · 07/05/2013 09:38

I had a relative who'd do this sort of thing. For example, she'd always say to other parents that her child should sit in a certain place in a car as she thought that was where the child would be less at risk in an accident. Her child always had to be picked out, made special, given different, special treatment. She wanted her child's school to change its entire menu and food sourcing and storage procedure because her child has a nut allergy rather than teaching the child to manage it and working with the school to achieve it. The relative has some serious issues.

While I'm not saying the OP is like this or that they have issues it may be an idea to take steps to deal with her anxiety rather than allowing it to magnify and take over.

GobTheGoblin · 07/05/2013 09:40

This is a piss take...

right?

rambososcar · 07/05/2013 09:41

the relative would tell other parents that her child should sit in a particular place in a car to the exclusion of other children travelling, including the children of the parent who was driving. Sorry for not explaining that well.

ScumBag · 07/05/2013 09:44

I think putting your DD in the bib for a school trip is very unreasonable (because she doesn't need to stand our from the others in the group!) but I don't think it's that bad in the park. Bright colours are good but not as easy to spot as a high vis jacket.

I've for twins and a toddler - when the twins start walking I'll have three under three with me when we go to the park & I've already decided to buy high vis bibs for them. I couldn't care less what other people think, I don't want to lose one of them! For trips out at your DD's age I don't really think it matters, especially if it helps you to relax. If you're still putting it on her when she's about 10 then I think that would be a bit weird

mrsjay · 07/05/2013 09:45

yabu and OTT why would you do that I know you are worried if she is away or playing on her own but no don't do it, a Local nursery do it and if they are out on a walk they look like little mini work men

Floggingmolly · 07/05/2013 09:46

You want your child to be extra visible to the teachers, above and beyond the other 29 children involved? And you really expect to be taken seriously by the school?
Maybe you'd better think of a way to explain to them why your child is more special than everyone else's child, otherwise they'll definitely probably think you're a loon?

mrsjay · 07/05/2013 09:46

and for the school trip teachers havig beeen taking them away for decades they never lose children and why should your stand out and the rest not

WileyRoadRunner · 07/05/2013 09:56

OP it is lovely that you care so much about your DD BUT it does seem quite OTT at 5. Definitely do not put her in a high vis bib on a school trip unless asked to by the staff.

Being anxious about your child is normal but I think at 5 this is a step too far. You do not want to smother her.

MammaTJ · 07/05/2013 09:58

My DC get them from the school through the winter months. They also use them on visits.

I do dress my DC in bright clothes when in crowds. I also write my mobile number on their forearms. That is a little bonkers, I know, but if they got lost and someone found them, they would be able to find me quickly.

I do draw the line at making them wear a hi viz when out and about like that. Think about the pretty dresses and how it spoils the looks.

whatamardarse · 07/05/2013 10:04

Fashion over safety hey mamma [grin)

whatamardarse · 07/05/2013 10:04

Mnetter111 · 07/05/2013 10:12

I think you should be concerned about dd's feelings, she is old enough to be soon having a sense of people laughing at her, I wouldn't do it purely for that reason alone. Buy her distinctive clothing, as others have suggested.

Cookethenook · 07/05/2013 10:19

Yeah, a little odd in the park i'm afraid. A 5yo should be able to stick to the fenced off area without wandering off imo.

The only time DS wears a high vis jacket is when we walk to school on a misty or dark morning. We set off at 8.10 and it's still sometimes not light by then in the winter. He likes to scoot off down the road, so it makes him a lot more visible to people pulling out of their drive ways.

DreamingofSummer · 07/05/2013 10:25

Totally unreasonable in my opinion

You may wish to read this

www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200411/nation-wimps

FannyFifer · 07/05/2013 10:26

Think you are getting a hard time OP.
I think it's a good idea if it stops you worrying and allows her a bit more freedom.
Sometimes the large play parks can be mayhem so if it helps you relax then go for it.

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 07/05/2013 10:27

This is hysterical - the child is 5! Maybe it makes sense in the case of the mum with 3 children under 3, especially if one or more are bolters! But for a 5 year old this is setting her up for ridicule - both in the park and triply so on a school trip!

I have a 5 year old and there is no way on earth he would let me do that to him! 5 year olds are not babies or toddlers and shouldn't be made ridiculous for their mothers' sakes! Its not about caring what other adults think, but about the fact children are cruel beings - its like asking the other kids to laugh at yours!

OP if you put a high vis vest on a NT 5 year old to go on a school trip, she will take it off again the moment you are gone (if not before).

If you can't trust her to play in a play area at 5 with you nearby, then you need to think about why and address that, rather than mark her out in a neon vest!

Distinctive and brightly coloured clothes for your own peace of mind is fine obviously, as long as they don't make her a laughing stock among her peers - it matters to a school age child!

youmaycallmeSSP · 07/05/2013 10:30

Yes it is OTT and your DD will feel ridiculous.

ChunkyPickle · 07/05/2013 10:38

Well, it's OTT, but I don't think you're being unreasonable really, in fact I think it's a great idea (although would stop working if everyone did it)

Perhaps a bright hoodie or hat instead would be more normal?

Floggingmolly · 07/05/2013 10:42

It is unreasonable to expect the school to consider her child more precious than all the others.

OTT and unreasonable.

UniS · 07/05/2013 10:42

DS often wears his hi-vis at the park, and he is a fair bit older than 5. BUT - he wears it to cycle to the park and can't be bothered to take it off. No one has ever commented positively or negatively.

His school have a set of Hi-vis vests that Key stage one use on walking trips out.

Day trips out with family I do write a mobile number on DS's arm or on a wrist band, and we still run through the " who do you ask for help if you can't find us" routine at the start of a day out.

FannyFifer · 07/05/2013 10:43

None of mine at 5 would have bothered in the slightest about wearing a high vis vest, DS who is 8 would wear one if I asked, he wouldn't care less, doubt any of his friends would even comment.

cory · 07/05/2013 10:49

It is unreasonable because sporting a different look from the other children on the school trip will make the child more likely to become separated from the group. It is not about making the child safer or the teacher's safeguarding job easier but entirely about the feelings of the mother.

Booyhoo · 07/05/2013 10:55

YABU OP

dont put a hi vis bib on your dd. tie a red helium balloon on a string to her hat that way you can spot her amongst all the similarly sized children.

KatoPotato · 07/05/2013 11:00

'Do you remember ShinyShoesJnr from school?'

'Who?

'You know, the girl with the High Vis vest'

'Oh you mean fire warden girl?'

This will happen OP, don't do it to her!

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