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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this woman took baby wearing to another level

192 replies

GirlWiththeLionHeart · 04/05/2013 14:41

In a shop with my ds looking at baby stuff and a mum comes in with her two dcs, one in a buggy, another in a sling.

The child in the sling looked about 5! Grin

He was that tall that when she knelt down to pick something out of the buggy his feet touched the floor and he jumped up which made him bang his head on her chin I had to turn away or I might've laughed
I may sound like a cow but I smiled at her when she first came in and she just sneered at me before launching into loud parenting.

OP posts:
kungfupannda · 04/05/2013 19:54

Oh and you'd have had a good laugh at me a year ago. I was in London with both DSs. DS1 was nearly 3 and DS2 was about 4 or 5 months. We were hurrying for a train and DS1 was tired and draggy so, rather than miss the train that I was perfectly capable of catching, I stuck DS1 on my back in the Ergo and wrapped DS2 on my front, and legged it.

Yes, I probably looked daft, but at least I looked daft on the train.

Piemother · 04/05/2013 20:00

Yanbu. Sort of. Front carrying a pre schooler is ridiculous. She will hurt her back and look like a tit. I wonder if the weight would make it a bit dangerous too.
Back carrying in a toddler SSC or mei tai or a wrap etc is fine as long as its not against the child's will.

I say this as a sling user. I am in love with my ergo and its made a huge difference as a lp of two. However my sling using friends and I also hate 'baby wearing'. It's just common sense. We do a lot if active stuff with the older kids - I can't be doing with a pram!

KentuckyFriedChildren · 04/05/2013 20:00

I have done that too kungfupannda except I wrapped one on the front and one on the back Grin Thank god dd1 is happy to walk all the time or i'd have a hard time trying to do it with 3. Though i did double ruck ds and dd1 alot when they were little as we have a small age gap and they were preemies so were both ickle for their ages Smile

Cloverer · 04/05/2013 20:03

slatternly - stretchy jersey wraps are only used until babies are 6 months usually, after that people use woven wraps, buckled carriers or tied carriers (mei tais). I know a few women of African origin who actually use fleece blankets for back carries.

Something like this is actually designed for piggy back carriers for kids up to 5ish, though you could put it on your front too.

Piemother · 04/05/2013 20:03

Stretchy wraps are for smaller babies. Woven wraps are v strong and don't stretch. They are very spendy!

KatyDid02 · 04/05/2013 20:06

YABU because he may have had special needs.

Original poster
GirlWiththeLionHeart · 04/05/2013 20:13

Running for a train is one thing. Walking around town with a preschooler hanging off your front is another.

OP posts:
Piemother · 04/05/2013 20:15

Oooh that's a nice carrier Grin
(Hijacks)
I want a girly half buckle

VinegarDrinker · 04/05/2013 20:17

She wasn't walking round town, she wore him for a minute or so in a shop, according to the OP.

Original poster
GirlWiththeLionHeart · 04/05/2013 20:19

I'm trying to find a picture of a child as big in a sling on google, but there isn't one! Grin

OP posts:
kungfupannda · 04/05/2013 20:21

Why? Confused

How do you know there wasn't a particular reason why she was carrying him?

Why is one particular set of circumstances valid, and another not?

He could have been unwell, or particular tired for some reason. He could have just had some sort of upsetting medical treatment and wanted cuddles. The family could have been bereaved and he was regressing to baby-like behaviour. He could have been recently adopted and she was trying to do some intensive bonding. He could have just had his 50th meltdown of the day because he didn't want to walk. He could have special needs and find the sling settling.

Or she could just be a weird hippy type who has made herself a legitimate target for judginess by gasp doing something a bit different.

kungfupannda · 04/05/2013 20:22

That was meant to read [gasp]

KentuckyFriedChildren · 04/05/2013 20:22

Tbf I wouldn't front carry a child past around 25lb as it would do your back and even then I'd only do it as a last resort. And yes, "baby-wearing" is a wank term Smile

VinegarDrinker · 04/05/2013 20:25

There are some pics of older children being carried on the NE sling library page here thenortheastslinglibrary.weebly.com/1/post/2012/09/slings-not-just-for-littlies.html

Cloverer · 04/05/2013 20:26

3.5 year old in a carrier here

6 year old in a carrier here

KentuckyFriedChildren · 04/05/2013 20:28

WELL SAID kungfupannda

If my boy didn't have special needs and need constant supervision around roads and constantly melt down over the tiniest thing I probably wouldn't carry him still. But he does and so I do. I have a thin cotton woven in my bag all the time just in case and it makes a huuuge difference to me. I don't care if ill-informed people stare. They stare when I am trying to reason with a 5 year old that's acting like a tantrumming 2 year old anyway, and at least this way I get to go about my day in peace Smile

christinarossetti · 04/05/2013 20:30

She wasn't 'baby wearing' - she was carrying a child of about 5 years.

Lots of 5 year olds like/need to be carried from time to time. Front carrying sounds a bit bonkers to me - real strain on back and skewed centre of gravity - but using a devise to make carrying a child easier sounds pretty sensible.

She probably had the sling there for the younger one, and a quick trip for the older one in it made life easier.

Original poster
GirlWiththeLionHeart · 04/05/2013 20:33

He could have been recently adopted and she was trying to do some intensive bonding

Sorry, I actually laughed out loud at that. Talk about unlikely!

Clover you'll notice they're all on the parents backs.

OP posts:
Original poster
GirlWiththeLionHeart · 04/05/2013 20:34

The child's feet basically could almost touch the ground. All of you would raise an eyebrow if you saw it!

OP posts:
kungfupannda · 04/05/2013 20:36

I just don't get why people are so worried about other people's child-conveying methods.

I was fed-up to the back teeth of the snide, faux-concerned comments by the time we moved out of London. For some reason, Somerset is a lot more chilled out and a lot of people seem to mix and match slings and buggies.

The "hippy" accusation used to drive me bonkers too. Not that there's anything wrong with being a hippy - but I'm not! Not remotely! I used to be commuting across the city in a smart suit with files in a wheely-case, fiddling with my ipad and someone would say "oh, you look very hippy-like."

For no reason other than the fact that I happened to have chosen a perfectly legitimate and sensible method of carrying a child during rush hour, without having to consult the accessible tube map at every stage of the journey.

Children have to be transported from point A to point B. Why does anyone care how people chose to do it?

HoneyDragon · 04/05/2013 20:36

I used a Mai tei with my son when he was five, still use one itch three year old dd. I don't own a car, we have a dog. Yes they can walk miles but children get tired.

Op. different things make different people happy. You got your shits and giggles from strangers getting hit in the face by accident. Good for you. Others get gratification from knowing their dc are content.

kungfupannda · 04/05/2013 20:38

"He could have been recently adopted and she was trying to do some intensive bonding

Sorry, I actually laughed out loud at that. Talk about unlikely!"

Really? I actually know someone on another forum who adopted an older child and got a pre-school size carrier specifically for this reason.

Original poster
GirlWiththeLionHeart · 04/05/2013 20:38

Well, there you go! Not that unlikely Grin

OP posts:
VinegarDrinker · 04/05/2013 20:39

Ok, here's a question, OP. Take the bit of material away, so you just have a Mum carrying her kid briefly. Would you still think it such a big deal?

All a sling is is a way of doing what we all do, just hands-free. It isn't necessarily a "statement" or "lifestyle choice". It is just convenient. 5 year olds aren't often carried for long periods of time, and neither was this boy, what you describe is a few minutes!

Talk about mountain out of a molehill.

Cloverer · 04/05/2013 20:40

Yes, and he was on her front briefly. I've had DS on my front for short periods when he has been sleepy or I have had a coat on. Maybe the kid just wanted a cuddle?

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