Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not do work that I would charge a client a lot of money for free for a friend

56 replies

CambridgeBlue · 29/04/2013 13:16

Someone I know (let's call him Alan) has asked me to do some work for him for which I would normally charge several hundred pounds. I could do it quickly and easily as a favour but I don't see why I should especially as another person in our circle (Dave) is in the same business as me and Alan often puts work his way.

I am happy to do the odd favour for friends and sometimes it has led to paid work, other times I've just been happy to help. But helping Alan definitely won't gain me anything as he refers any work he gets in this line to Dave. I think he just wants a freebie and possibly thinks I'll be flattered to have been asked - I'm not!

AIBU to think he's taking the piss and if I'm not, how do I politely tell him where to go without making things awkward in our group of mates?

OP posts:
Llareggub · 29/04/2013 13:18

Just say you are too busy.

ChasingSquirrels · 29/04/2013 13:18

Has he actually asked you to for it for freeo are you assuming?

I would say of course I can do it, my fee would be £x and would he like to proceed?

nenevomito · 29/04/2013 13:18

No I don't think YABU at all. If its your business and your livelihood then they should pay for your services - even if its mates rates. If he threw work your way regularly then it may be different.

Ask him if he'd do his job for free!

GladbagsGold · 29/04/2013 13:19

I'd say he could have it at mates rates. And charge whatever you feel like!

raspberryroop · 29/04/2013 13:21

Tell him what you going rate !

ImperialBlether · 29/04/2013 13:22

I'd be upfront and say, "I'm surprised you're asking me when you normally give your work to Dave." He's got a nerve if he's expecting you to do it for free when his friend would charge him.

WilsonFrickett · 29/04/2013 13:23

You just have to say no - or as others have said, assume it's a paid job and quote him a mate's rate. If it makes things awkward, then unfortunately it makes things awkward. It'll be more awkward if you do it for nothing, don't get any further work out of it, then he asks again in a couple of months and you say no then, won't it?

ParsingFancy · 29/04/2013 13:26

Wha..?

So Alan understands this is work he would usually have to pay for. And has a regular man who does it.

But rather than either a) pay or b) ask regular man for freebie, he's asked you for freebie?

That's very, very odd. It suggests he values you a great deal less as a person and as a professional than regular man.

Don't want to leap to a conclusion here, but is it possible regular man is a clue?

SarahAndFuck · 29/04/2013 13:29

Is there any chance that Dave is too busy to accept it as paid work so Alan has decided to chance his arm asking you to do it for free?

YANBU. Either tell him you are too busy or tell him you will put a quote together for your fee.

I have to agree with ParsingFancy about the regular 'man' being a clue to why he's done this.

LessMissAbs · 29/04/2013 13:29

He's trying it on and is a condescending twat, counting on you being embarrassed enough to do it for free. Tell him you'll only do it if he is a paying client, otherwise you're not interested

StuntGirl · 29/04/2013 13:30

Has he explicitly said he expects it for free? I agree with those above, say "Lovely, my fee is X per hour. Would you like me to send you the contract to sign?"

Mintyy · 29/04/2013 13:35

Can you just clarify that he definitely expects it to be done for free?

MummytoKatie · 29/04/2013 13:41

"That's fine. For friends I charge £xxx for this type of work. Does that work for you or would you rather get Dave to do it?"

Thumbwitch · 29/04/2013 13:44

Of course YANBU! He is chancing his arm, if he's said he wants it as a favour rather than paying for it.

Say you'd be happy to do it for him and this is the price. If he baulks at the price (and tbh I'd want to get paid up front under the circs) then say you're very sorry but you don't have the time to give away for free; times are tight for everyone and you have to make a living same as everyone else. Hopefully that will make HIM realise how rude he's being.

Lazyjaney · 29/04/2013 13:45

Tell him you will do it at the same rate Dave does it If he is asking for it for free and won't pay for it he's not really a friend.

CandidaDoyle · 29/04/2013 13:48

YANBU.

My BIL is a highly skilled tradesman. He gets pissed off by mating asking him to provide his services for free. He's self employed, so if he's doing a freebie he's losing income. He just tells them he'll consider it if they're prepared to take annual leave from work and come and work on his house for free.

Snazzynewyear · 29/04/2013 13:51

Yes, he's trying to get it for nothing. I bet Dave is currently busy. Say 'this is my quote for the work' and see what happens then. My bet is that you won't hear anymore.

LastMangoInParis · 29/04/2013 13:52

YABU for even entertaining the thought that YWBU to expect him to pay or piss off. Of course he's taking the piss. YANBU to be very annoyed. So, you tell him what the work will cost him. Simple as that.

BTW, Lazyjaney, I don't get the bit where you advise OP to say she'll do job at Dave's rates? Why Dave's rates instead of OP's usual rate?Confused

quoteunquote · 29/04/2013 13:56

What does he do for a job, could you arrange an exchange?

We run a construction and service company, I'm constantly amazed at how many people think we want to work for free, but I often do exchanges, works well for everyone.

just say I can do it, but I have to do all my paid work first, then if he asks again say well I can put you to the top of the pile but it will have to be paid.

Justforlaughs · 29/04/2013 14:00

I'd offer a quote, I don't think you should do it for nothing

cuillereasoupe · 29/04/2013 14:01

YANBU. A woman I work with once in a blue moon asked me last week if I could do do a bit of work for her daughter for free. I put her off saying I was too busy, so she passed my email on to her daughter so she could plead her case. Bloody cheek.

WeAreEternal · 29/04/2013 14:04

IIWM I would say "yes of course I can help you out, and of course as a friend I will do it for 'mates rates'"
Then I'd knock a bit of money off and tell him that's how much it will cost.

That's fair and you are still doing him a favour without giving up your time for free.

facedontfit · 29/04/2013 14:05

Thought it was just my OH who works for people who are far far better off than us for free.

elfycat · 29/04/2013 14:06

Is Dave fed up with this freeloader? Is that why you've been asked?

Say you can do it at mates rate and then charge 10% more than your regular fee.

Original poster
CambridgeBlue · 29/04/2013 14:09

Thanks all, I was wondering if I was being a bit churlish but it seems not :)

Alan's a bit of a Jack the Lad, very successful because he's got the gift of the gab (and is probably very good at what he does). He asked me this (making it clear it was a 'favour') in front of a crowd which put me on the spot. I managed to laugh it off but this morning he texted me saying 'how is x coming along ha ha'. I replied that I'd been too busy and why didn't he ask Dave like he normally did.

I will see him later and bet it will come up again (which is why I wanted some feedback). I can't say too much because Dave's wife will be there and I don't want to make things even more awkward so I think I will just have to say I'm too busy and hope he takes the hint even though I'd prefer to be much more blunt.

I think it's true he might see a woman as more likely to succumb to his charms and do the favour - I'm sure he wouldn't ask Dave for a freebie in the same way. He is generous with his own expertise but what he does is not something I'm likely to have a use for any time soon - if he owned a restaurant or ran a spa I might find a way of getting the favour returned but his industry is something much duller!

OP posts: