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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be cutting this many corners

16 replies

EgnahcEmanRehtona · 28/04/2013 23:31

DS is a year, we started out with such good intentions, but I'm just so knackered (back at work) and DS has become so headstrong, that I've veered away from all my good intentions in the last couple of months eg

-feeding to sleep again, putting down in cot asleep
-given up trying to get him to take sippy cup for milk, so it's back to bottles
-given up trying to get him to drink water in his sippy as he'd only ever have max one sip, so he's having watered down juice, which he gulps down
-am using the TV to a) distract him into eating his dinner if he's refusing (spooning it in while he stares at in the night garden) and b) allow me a half hour's peace
-not getting all uppity when DP gives him sugary food at weekends, as frankly I don't need another argument about this

Feel so slack! Please tell me this isn't terrible!!

OP posts:

BackforGood · 28/04/2013 23:36

We all start off with great intentions I'm sure, and then RL kicks in and you have to make decisions about which are the most important to you. I'm sure you don't need us to tell you that, over the longer term, the more you give in to things now, the harder it's going to get ? But that said, we all have to muddle along with the hours in the day available and the tiredness and the resiliance we each have.
Everyone will have different opinions on the importance of each of the things you list. Not sure any of us telling you which ones we'd let go and which ones we wouldn't do will help you, as it's one of those judegement calls only you can make, inyour circumstances.

MrsEdinburgh · 28/04/2013 23:36

No it isn't, you are doing the best you can.

Dont worry too much (have been there, worn the t shirt etc.)

You are a Good Mum!

BuntyCollocks · 29/04/2013 10:40

Hahahaha.

This is what we all say.

I feed to sleep, DS gets extremely watered down cordial, I use the tv as distraction for shovelling in food and for a chance to mn for peace.

You're not slack. You're one of us!

valiumredhead · 29/04/2013 10:42

The not feeding to sleep is a 'new thing' - we all used to do it , so stop beating yourself up about it. We do what we can to get through the day.

Iheartpasties · 29/04/2013 10:45

I do all of those, and mine is 2. I think we all beat ourselves up over it?! I know we shouldn't though.

MerylStrop · 29/04/2013 10:46

All those kids who have to go to sleep on their own, drink only from open cups form 12 months, never see the telly and never eat anything sweet are going to end up neurotic, like their neurotic mothers.

Go with the flow, everything in moderation, all be happy

givemeaclue · 29/04/2013 10:48

Could you pick one of those thing, to focus on rather than all at once? Juice isn't great for teeth so could you start with that?

givemeaclue · 29/04/2013 10:49

Nb, not judging, mine had milk in bottles till age 3...

MrsMangoBiscuit · 29/04/2013 10:57

The only one I can claim we never did was feed to sleep. Not down to any special effort, DD just used to fall asleep as soon as she'd burped and not before!

If she was asleep when I put her down, she was asleep. 3yo now and when she goes to bed I don't often manage to get downstairs before I can hear her snoring through the monitor.

She had dilute juice too, still has it, but also drinks lots of water and milk too, depending on what she fancies. And we normally have the TV on in the background, unless we're eating, as the distraction now works the other way and she stops eating!

So I think YANBU, it's flipping hard work with little ones, I see no point in making it harder than it has to be.

ChunkyPickle · 29/04/2013 10:58

You sound pretty normal to me - I fed to sleep until he was about 2, he eats breakfast glued to something on the ipad, flat refuses to drink anything (except bathwater...) from a real cup so he's still drinking from a straw cup (never even mastered a feeding cup), and is pacified in the car with an unending supply of jelly sweets.

Oh, DS only drank juice for ages, then he just suddenly decided that he didn't like it any more and now only drinks milk (or water if desparate/out of the house in the warm) - something for which I can take no credit at all - much as I can't take credit for his love of pickled beetroot and the fluffy bit of broccoli, since he'll chase it down with choc-ices and crisps :)

PoppyWearer · 29/04/2013 10:59

It sounds like you are doing just fine to me, quite normal!

Startail · 29/04/2013 11:14

DD2 was always breast fed to sleep and night weaned by leaving her a dippy cup of dilute sugar free squash.

Sleep and sanity are far more important than good habits at 1,2 or 3.
Once they are 2.5-3 talking and at preschool you may be able to reason with them. Before that I find whatever works will do.

newbiefrugalgal · 29/04/2013 11:19

Happy mummy = happy baby.
Pick your battles as they say.
You have a one year old give yourself a break and enjoy - it will all sort itself out!
Nothing shocking in your post at all.
:)

WilsonFrickett · 29/04/2013 11:27

If you're back at work, then I imagine sleep is a priority (it certainly was for us) so I really wouldn't worry about sleeping to feed. I not only fed to sleep, I co-slept too! But that was because I had to get up for work in the morning. I can absolutely promise you your baby won't still be feeding to sleep when they're 18, so stop worrying about that one.

As to the others - are any of them important to you? (Not to MN, not to your MIL, but to YOU). If so, put them in priority order and tackle them one by one. You should only ever be fighting one battle at once, and it should only ever be a battle which is important to you. ((hugs))

JazzDalek · 29/04/2013 11:35

I fed both my children to sleep until well into toddlerhood. They are 8 and 4 now and both totally fine and normal.

Have also used TV for them fairly liberally. Again, both are fine and doing very well at school.

You're not terrible! There is a LOT to be said for going with these things and not trying to micro-manage early childhood. I am probably a bit too unconcerned, I think - could probably try just a little harder - but IMO a bit of benign neglect is good for children, better than helicoptering and regimenting and worrying, in any case.

Dahlen · 29/04/2013 11:39

We were all perfect mothers until we had children.

There's a balance to be struck however. You don't need to be a 'perfect' mother, you just need to be a 'good enough' mother, which, barring abuse or neglect, means being the best mother you can be within the confines of also looking after your own physical and emotional needs.

I've let some ideals go; others I have stuck with. I've chosen my priorities based on what I find harder - a day with a fractious child or living with the guilt/consequences if I choose to 'give in'.

It comes down to a case of pick your battles, because you can't win them all.

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