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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to go to the pub 30 metres away with a video monitor.

344 replies

HoveDad · 25/04/2013 12:04

I live in a terrace of houses and ten doors down is a really nice pub that does great food. Would it be horribly irresponsible to leave the kids (8,4 and 2) home alone with a video (+audio) monitor watching the doors to the bedrooms, toilet and hallway? One of us could be home within one minute of seeing / hearing a child but in the mean time we could be sat having a couple of pints and a tasty meal with friends with a laptop/ipad on the table showing what's going on in the house.
I suspect this isn't ok and haven't suggested it to my wife yet but wanted to canvas opinions. You could get the kit to do this for ~ £100 which is what 4 baby sits would cost.

OP posts:
Forgetfulmog · 26/04/2013 07:03

Chrome - "I might consider doing this with a baby" - seriously??? Words fail me. Not a believer in cot death then? I think the current guideline is to keep a baby in the same room as you until they're 6 months. I think the current guideline also assume that you should be in the same building as them.

"I don't have kids". You don't say

Tee2072 · 26/04/2013 07:37

Cot death cannot be prevented by being in the same house, what a ridiculous thing to say. You keep them in the same room for overnight sleeping not for the entire 6 months.

At least I never did.

Not that I'd leave a baby.

But more hysteria is not helpful.

Forgetfulmog · 26/04/2013 07:42

Actually tee you keep them in the same room as you for all sleeps, naps included.

I am just astounded that anyone would consider leaving a baby alone.

Tee2072 · 26/04/2013 07:49

And I'm astounded anyone kept their baby with them day and night for 6 months. I certainly don't know anyone who did.

Also that anyone is sitting around thinking "OMG THERE COULD BE A WASP!!"

But as this thread as proven, hysteria is live and well in the world.

As I said, I have anxiety disorder. Thank god my meds work...

AKissIsNotAContract · 26/04/2013 08:06

tabbi I was wondering that too. I thought perhaps the Ancient Mariner.

Iggi101 · 26/04/2013 08:14

Tee, as forgetfulmog says the recommendation is to have them with you for all sleeps up till 6 months. It's not actually that difficult, they just sleep in a pram where you are. (Admittedly I did feel I had lee way to go to the toilet while he slept, so not literally with me 24/7 if you're being picky).
Not anxiety, just following best practice.

Whitewineformeplease · 26/04/2013 08:30

WeAreEternal Grin

pumpkinsweetie · 26/04/2013 08:31

I do find it hilarious that some of us that are opposed to the idea are getting confused with over anxious, over protective, ott parents that worry over everything when it couldn't be more far from the truth.

There is a difference between leaving children unattended and being in the garden or in the next room. Just because we don't think he should of done it, doesn't mean we are chained to our children and never go out.

ThreadPirateFanjoBeard · 26/04/2013 09:28

Best case scenario: you get a night out.

Worst case scenario: something happens and you find yourself having to explain to Social Services why you left your 3 kids under 8 unsupervised so you can go for a meal and a pint or two... which might be followed by a nice Daily Mail headline: 'Kids left home alone while parents drank in pub'.

It is illegal to leave children of that age unsupervised, and a video monitor doesn't count.

Forgetfulmog · 26/04/2013 09:32

Agree iggi. Anyway Tee I don't believe I said anything about keeping a baby in the same room as me 24/7, just that nap times & nighttime sleeps should be in the same room as you.

pinkgirl1 · 26/04/2013 09:34

Why have kids if you can't be responsible enough to organise a sitter? When my daughter was 3 and had been in bed sleeping for an hour I nipped to the basement granny flat to wrap her Christmas presents. Granny flat directly below the house,I came back up after 10 mins to find the wee soul rocking back and forth sobbing as she had woken and couldn't find me! I will never ever get that image out my head...always get a babysitter!

AlnwickRose · 26/04/2013 09:37

It's not illegal.

SpanishFly · 26/04/2013 09:39

But you wouldn't be watching the monitor the whole time. You'd keep glancing at it. Between glances any of the kids could get up but you wouldn't have noticed.

And there's no way youd hear a smoke alarm through a monitor in a busy pub.

And if nothing goes wrong the first time, then it'd turn into a habitual thing, adding to the potential risk.

OrlaKiely · 26/04/2013 09:54

'And I'm astounded anyone kept their baby with them day and night for 6 months. I certainly don't know anyone who did.'

Erm, aside from going in the garden for five minutes to feed the animals, with ds1 or 2 keeping an eye on him - we pretty much do this.

He sleeps with me, he's on my lap most of the day or at least in the same room/next room.

OP - you say your smoke alarm would be audible through the monitor but the thing is, if there was a fire, and the alarm went off, you would still need to run back home, enter the building, access all three children and then get them back out.

This could be the difference between their survival and their not surviving. If you were already nearby and in the building when it went off it would be much much quicker.

Tee2072 · 26/04/2013 10:13

Well at this point it's obvious people haven't read the thread as you're repeating what's been said.

And said...and said...and said...

SpanishFly · 26/04/2013 10:18

Tee you've repeated yourself many times, with very few people agreeing with you. But it's irritating for you if lots of posters agree with each other and reinforce the points made

ComeYoniWithMe · 26/04/2013 10:59

It's not hysteria, it's just pointing out the what ifs.
I could go out in my car for the next year without wearing my seatbelt and be fine, but I still wear it as it reduces the risk.
That is what a lot of parenting is about, reducing the risk - helmets, stair gates, car seats, straps in prams, holding children's hands near the road.
We keep an eye on our kids to keep them safe.

OrlaKiely · 26/04/2013 11:00

I don't think anyone has said it quite the same way I said it Grin and I have read the thread, I was on it from the start - I'm just replying to Hovedad's post about the smoke detector.

It's horrible when people start telling other posters to stop posting. It's not up to you.

LemonPeculiarJones · 26/04/2013 11:04

Glad you've embraced the fact that its a shit idea OP.

I suppose some posters are just considering if you think that's ok, it doesn't bode well for your parenting in general. A complete assumption, of course.

But if I heard about a bloke who wanted to leave three kids alone in a house so he could go off to the pub armed with a video monitor, my first thought would be he had dodgy judgement as a parent.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 26/04/2013 11:16

I don't know anyone that kept their newborn with them for the entire 6 months either.

And that's pretty much all I am going to say, as the thread is so drenched in hysterical "what if your 2 year old decided to rewrite the electrics and the house caught fire and then the pub fell down and no one could get out and a wasp came in and ate everybody" it's quite pointless.

especially since the OP has already accepted its a bad idea and bowed out way up thread.

SpanishFly · 26/04/2013 11:21

I'm pretty sure the entire thread was a wind-up anyway

And I also think it's horrible to call people hysterical for giving an opinion

Iggi101 · 26/04/2013 11:22

Tantrums I don't know anyone (bar me) either. But that's because I have never asked anyone where their baby napped etc. Do you think the fsids guidance is on the same level as thinking your 2 year old might rewire the house?
I don't.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 26/04/2013 11:33

no i dont. But I think the whole thing is bizarre quite frankly.

Its competitive disaster prediction. Im surprised anyone ever leaves their house. Or lets their children outside.

foreverondiet · 26/04/2013 11:39

Not safe with kids at that age. Possibly ok with say 8 year old and 10 year old who can use phone.

Tee2072 · 26/04/2013 12:15

I didn't tell anyone to stop posting. I did suggest they read the thread.

Also, if 10,000 people agree with you (general you, obviously) and only 1 agrees with me, that doesn't mean I am wrong, it means there are 10,001 people with an idiotic opinion.

I mean look at Hitler.

Oooh, Godwin's Law comes into play and Tee loses the argument.

Well then I might as well invoke the MN Addendum to Godwin's Law and also say, man do I feel sorry for some of your children and no wonder there's an obesity epidemic in the UK. The poor things aren't allowed to go any where or do anything because a wasp might scare them!*

*Oooh, also extrapolated helicopter parenting from what's been said here! I'll go hang my head in shame. After I eat this sandwich.

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