To go on a sex strike

[SkinnyLove]

Last night, over a drunken meal with chums, dh stated that The Scent of a Wooooman is "the worst smell in the entire world" and that he hates oral sex.

AIBU to go on a sex strike? I was really annoyed at the time as it feel as though every time he has deigned, its just been out of a sense of duty. And obvy, now i feel like a smelly hobag to boot. Plus we've been married for years, so any comment about that area feels like a dig at me!

Unfortunately ive married the arse, so think i might follow FA guidelines and just stick him on a ban.

I think the issue it was said infront of people and humiliated the OP, had it been said in the living room just between them, I doubt it would have been as upsetting.

I've been on one for 6 months and I don't think DH has noticed.

Seriously though, just have an honest chat about how you feel and why his comments upset you. Also, it's not on to humiliate you in front of your friends. I've witnessed my friend's husband make a similar sort of comment after she gave birth and he just showed himself up as a horrible husband. Exaggerating to make a cruel and unfunny joke. It was really awkward.

dh stated that The Scent of a Wooooman is "the worst smell in the entire world"

That is a misogynist statement.

I couldn't share a room with someone who thought it was OK to say stuff like that, never mind a bed.

You feel revolting because you are married to a man who thinks women's bodies (including yours) are revolting.

I don't necessarily agree, fannies don't smell nice, I can't imagine arguing otherwise, is everyone on here of the opinion there hoo-haa's are fragrant?

I don't think the question here is: do Fanny's smell nice all the time?

The question is what to do about a DH whose attitude absolutely stinks.

I would hate him for that.

"fannies don't smell nice"

Speak for your own smelly gee.

Mine smells nice.

do you smell of roses or lavender?

Thats awful, I know you are making light of it but seriously :(

Its massively hurtful, allowing oral sex if a very intimate act (more intimate to me than actual sex) and to have that trust totally shattered....

I honestly think that I would have trouble baring my body to him again. He has put a rocket in your relationship op at a very sensitive time. I do hope that you are ok.

hairtearing you must know by now if your fanny smells unpelasant, summats wrong.

Mine smells nice.

I don't think something has to smell of flowers to have a good smell.

I would be beyond mortified to be married to a man who thought it was the worst smell in the world.

OP, you do need to tell him that what he has said has affected you.
Unless his apology/explanation is satisfactory, I wouldn't go near his dick for a long time.

What a terrible thing to say in company of others. No wonder you are hurt and humiliated. Telling people that you stink below is giving the impression that you are a disease ridden minge!

Healthy and clean fanjos dont stink, there is just a slightly salty mist to them. Like a clean and healthy manjo dont stink either!

Maybe you both need to see a GU clinic?

I would blardy go and divorce the twat if he said something like this to other people.

Im not really OK. I feel devastated which is probably stupid.

Hes just come back from a stag and i expect all the ribaldry has just spilled over. But hes pretty indiscreet by nature and my heart is sinking over what he might have said if he can say that sort of thing right in front of me.

Im Just wandering around my house trying to clean it, i feel like such a fat dirty bitch right now. I hate him. Dont care if this sounds prima donnaish...i cant speak to anybody in real life. I feel crushed. And stupid for feeling so.

No, i do not stink. Please dont go there with the GUM comments, its just making me feel worse.

Indeed This. Genital areas of both sexes should smell just fine if they are clean and nothing is wrong. Neither smells of roses and a soft meadow breeze, but the smell should not be offensive.

I dont want to talk about this any more, im going for a bath and a name change .

Thanks everybody for listening.

yeah, the guy's an immature arse...but I suspect he's the kind of guy that makes sly digs a lot..? :(

I am sorry, I did not mean to make you feel worse.

Was just thinking maybe if you did actually smell you need to have it checked out.

He has behaved terribly. I understand why you are upset.

Oh Skinny Love, please know the only reason people are being silly is that your op potrayed you as joking when its clear that he has truly hurt you.

You are NOT being primdonnaish, you are NOT wrong to be devastated, he has taken a physical intimacy and thrown it at you which is truly horrible and would make anyone feel vulnerable.

He was probably joking but it was a truly unfunny and twattish joke. Do not hide this away of have sex if you feel uncomfortable, you need to make very very clear he has shaken the roots of your relationship and its going to take some work, and possibly time at RELATE to get past it.

Keep talking, don't hide, MN is good for listening if we know you need it. Possibly post in relationships? I'll report and ask for this to be moved to a supportive environment xx

smelling healthy is not the same as nice though, nobody smells nice down there,just nobody does..is that what your hubby meant or was he being more offensive?

Sorry didn't mean to be vulgar, I was just trying to balance it out a bit.

wow, just, wow. no wonder you are hurt. not at all surprised that you do not want sex with him now. he has shared something private between the 2 of you with friends. he has shown such disregard for your feelings that it is hardly surprising that you are not going to feel like you can be intimate with him for a long while and without a lot of work from him to win your trust again.

a move to relationships would be better.

"nobody smells nice down there,just nobody does.."

I do.

You don't.

We get it.

Your minge stinks.

But not everyone's does.

Deal with it.

What a fucking insensitive bellshine he is!

An ex of mine said something similar to me, not in front of anybody. I was mortified, so went to my GP, who examined me and said "all healthy". I then asked previous 'shags' who all said "hell no, I liked it"...we split up and I have a new DP who can't get enough of my scent. I am still working towards gaining confidence for him to just 'go down' on me, at the moment I have to wash beforehand because of my dick of an ex and his unfounded and hurtful comment. He had warped views on sex and instead of admitting he had problems, he turned it on me.

Also, I quite like my own scent haha

Im sorry, I wasnt going off in a strop, and deliberately put it on aibu because i wanted to know if I was right to be so upset....i can be a diva at times.

But i think such a public lack of respect is a v early warning sign and yeah, ive let myself go a bit, not got many clothes i can fit into right now, i need to get myself on post baby diet etc for me, mainly. But i adore my husband and we have always been very strongly attracted to eachother. Im kind of turning this around into a kick up the ass for me, although he'll be getting a talking to when he gets home...we dont argue in public so I retained my dignity last night. He looked like an arse last night. I didnt.

So thanks everybody, feeling much better now.