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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not help my son look after his baby?

231 replies

SPsYoniTheOneAndOnly · 23/04/2013 10:33

This is my first AIBU thread so go easy.

He has a baby and I refuse to help him out. He decided to have this baby so all responsibility is his in my eyes.

The baby is currently naked with only a hat on and he feeds her every 10 minutes but she drinks the whole bottle! All she does is cry and laugh.

He has asked me to look after her but I wont. He seems to think this isn't fair and shouts 'oh why?' The mother isn't on the scene either and the baby has only been with him a couple of months.

She is currently wrapped up in a car mat as he thinks this is an acceptable bed. Should I intervene now or leave baby where she is?

My son is young but he wanted the baby so I think he should look after her. He has named her Baby which I'm not sure goes down well on MN.

So AIBU or should I help out a little?

OP posts:
BobblyGussets · 23/04/2013 21:37

My DS (at the age of 4) was actually pregnant with a baby girl, who he was going to call "Robert". I never got to meet Robert, so I don't think DS was a very good father. He must have shipped Robert off to her Mother's.

MTSgroupie · 23/04/2013 22:53

Blush I blame the red wine

Original poster
SPsYoniTheOneAndOnly · 24/04/2013 00:25

MTS Dont worry you weren't the only one Grin

OP posts:
BergholtStuttleyJohnson · 24/04/2013 02:28

My DS1 has two babies, a boy and girl and they're both called "Beebee", he breastfeeds them but not very often. They must be getting enough though as he's always changing their nappies. The girl babys leg fell off because she's old, was mine as a child so I sellotaped it back on, it keeps falling off though which upsets DS but the doll is not sold anymore so I can't replace it and he's very attached to it I think she needs to see a doctor.

chillinwithmyyonis · 24/04/2013 02:44

I don't have this problem, my dd has two black cats, one called Alan, one called 'jac the cat' (as written on his homemade collar). She gets pissed off when dp calls the gangly one a monkey.

jaggythistle · 24/04/2013 04:44

1 yo DS2 tried to kidnap his big cousins brand new baby when she visited recently. I'm not sure its a good idea to let him have his own though. Although he suckedkissed DN's baby's head a lot, I've seen how hard he bites his wee Andrex puppy's nose.

DS1 used to bake his favourite cuddly in the oven every day. At least we knew where to find him.

jaggythistle · 24/04/2013 04:47

Although the oven one did get breastfed and given dry cereal sometimes, so wasn't entirely neglected.

pollywollydoodle · 24/04/2013 05:25

my daughter's baby was very bright, right from the moment she arrived she could say "i love you" and "i want my nappy changed"

we thought she was probably gifted and talented but she didn't progress. she lives in a box in the attic now ....a big one

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs · 24/04/2013 06:10

My DS has recently had a baby too. He throws it at me and signs milk. Which is interesting as I haven't bf for over a year.

He likes me to hold his baby all day - I think he is following the attachment parenting model, which is his choice. He needs to be free for his climbing activities and demolition work.

Is it right that I do all the work for my DS's baby, or should I let him do his thing?

He also has a belief that his baby should eat what he eats, I think he is doing BLW. His baby seems to enjoy banana but was unhappy with the spaghetti my DS was trying to force feed her.

Should I intervene when he force feeds his baby? I feel his baby is too young to eat solid food.

I don't want to become an overbearing Nan, but I also have concerns for the way he lets her sleep in the toy box at night.

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs · 24/04/2013 06:21

(Hilarious thread. Had me in stitches from the start!)

mathanxiety · 24/04/2013 06:28

My granddaughter is about 20 now. She rejoices in the name of Sack. Lovely personality, quiet as a mouse, you'd never know she was there, and it's a shame she's been living in a closet for the last 9 years.

NorksAreMessy · 24/04/2013 06:49

We had several babies. One, usefully called Gardenbaby. She lived under a bush and was always naked. As an aging hippy, I respected her life choices and I think she kept the slugs off the lettuce.
I did sometimes suggest that she could come in for a bath and a cuddle, but was firmly told by her mother that the baby would not like that at all.

Lollydaydream · 24/04/2013 08:15

my grandchild is a small monkey who eats rice krispies; since this baby arrived dd has neglected all the older babies. I fear they will grow resentful.

Princessgenie · 24/04/2013 08:44

Love it. Have been wetting myself laughing at this. X

RevoltingPeasant · 24/04/2013 09:24

I had my first baby about 31 years ago - tbh, I can't even remember - but I do know I used a kitchen knife to perform major abdominal surgery on them. Curiously, they mostly bled tomato ketchup.

We no longer have contact.

YoniRaver · 24/04/2013 09:36

DS left his baby (he calls him baby as well) in his pushchair not stepped in while he went to fetch his scooter. Of course baby rolled down the hill and fell out

YoniRaver · 24/04/2013 09:37

not strapped in

SmileAndPeopleSmileWithYou · 24/04/2013 09:43

I think you need to face up to the fact that you need Jezza.
He obviously isn't coping very well and I'd be starting to question if he even knows who the mother is...
Jezza can do DNA testing and sort this out for you, relieve some of the pressure from you and mother might even "step up" and support your DS in the raising of Baby.

He sounds like hes got the feeding sorted though, car mat must be comfy too.

johnworf · 24/04/2013 09:57

Our baby is currently pregnant herself - with twins. Both stuffed up her jumper. I'm pretending to be out when social services visit.

Original poster
SPsYoniTheOneAndOnly · 24/04/2013 10:02

Smile There's a picture of Baby in the car mat on my profile. She is totally swaddled. No idea about the mother as she was kidnapped from my mums house and she assisted.

Couthy Just leave them alone! His babba his rules!

OP posts:
Binkyridesagain · 24/04/2013 10:11

Reading this has brought fond memories of my first baby, Tina was a very talented baby, if you pulled her arm off she would wee out of the hole, when you put the arm back in, she peed out of her wee wee hole.

Her grand mother threw her out when she was young, I hope she used her talent to better her life, I often look on circus posters to see of 'the incredible arm pissing Tiny Tears' is making top billing, as yet i haven't seen, I live in hope that one day we can be reunited. Sad

IneedAyoniNickname · 24/04/2013 10:22

My ds1 always straps his baby into the pram. I found him the other day, strapped in so nice and safe, the pram was folded up and chucked in a corner though. Baby seems fine.

Original poster
SPsYoniTheOneAndOnly · 24/04/2013 10:44

INeed Least the baby was strapped in.

I hope he brings baby home from his dads. If he leaves her he doesn't shut up about her for at least 10 minutes.

OP posts:
IneedAyoniNickname · 24/04/2013 10:54

That's what I thought sp as not strapping them in seems to be a problem these days.

And these Spanish dolls that poo, doesn't baby born do that? Or is (s)he Spanish?

Original poster
SPsYoniTheOneAndOnly · 24/04/2013 11:23

I have no idea as I have never heard of them. I keep looking out for the advert but nothing yet

OP posts:
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