So, our elderly neighbours have always loved our cats, given them affection and company when we are at work and especially since our dc came on the scene. As far as we are aware, until recently, our remaining cat (one died recently) stayed in the garden, might have had a few cat biscuits or some ham, but basically came in at night and to eat.
Our neighbours are lovely, have been kind to our children and given them Christmas gifts and birthday cards.
Sadly, last year the gentleman of the couple died and his widow has been lonely since, despite having family who visit frequently and help, and neighbours who really do look out for each other, there's a huge unfillable hole in her life. We'd become aware that our dcat had started to go in and increasingly be fed there and turned a bit of a blind eye as both cat and neighbour were happy.
On Saturday, dh noticed a new collar on the cat and a magnetic key tag on it to open a cat flap. We assume our neighbour put it on. Initially, I felt okay, but now I kind of feel she should have at least asked first. If I were being really honest, I think our cat is being effectively adopted without asking us.
I am not sure what I'd say if our neighbour tried to formalise the arrangement. We've had her since a kitten, she's twelve and were all fond of her. On the other hand, she's not mad keen on the dc and I don't have as much time for her as I did Pre dc. Financially, we feed her and pay pet insurance and for jabs, flea treatment and worming - the insurance alone is £25 per month.
Aibu to be a bit narked? And what should I do about it whilst maintaining a supportive relationship?
Final and relevant point is dneighbours old cat was someone else's and "adopted" them.