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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To start winding people up about number of children we plan to have.

27 replies

mylittlepuds · 21/04/2013 19:19

I gave birth just over a week ago. A week I tell you. And the "so is that it?", "do you plan on having any more," and "is he going for the snip?" comments have commenced. It's my SECOND child! Why oh why?! I'd never dream of saying that to someone who has just had a baby - I'm still feeling fragile from too much gas and air!

So...rather than saying "Oh yes, that's our lot now," (even though to be fair it probably is) I've started saying "Ooh I don't know how many we want yet,". It's great. AIBU?

OP posts:
LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 21/04/2013 19:22

YAB kind of U

You should say 'Oh we're planning to have at least 5'

Original poster
mylittlepuds · 21/04/2013 19:23

Grin They'd faint

OP posts:
VAVAV00M · 21/04/2013 19:24

YANBU but I'd just say mind your own. Most people have 4-6 kids where I live (liverpool) so never had it

LookingForwardToMarch · 21/04/2013 19:25

Haha I have been asked that question a lot! Just had first dd Grin

The look on their faces when I say that now I've had her it has just confirmed that I want at least four more

The look on their face when they realise im serious is even better haha

TheHerringScreams · 21/04/2013 19:27

YANBU.

How about 'Oh, I don't know. We think ten is a nice round number but we've set our cap at a TV show, y'know, like 16 Kids And Counting, so it might be twenty?'

TheHerringScreams · 21/04/2013 19:29

Oh, and we had this A LOT. Also, we have big age gaps- DS is 5, DD2 is 12 and DD1 is 21! Questions like 'ooh...what a happy accident!' I mean, well meant, but ffs!

dementedma · 21/04/2013 19:33

My sister has five and some of the comments she has received have been unbelievable.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 21/04/2013 19:34

Congratulations on your lovely new baby.

I'm assuming you have one of each colour otherwise people would be saying "I suppose you'll try again for a [insert missing gender here]."

sweetkitty · 21/04/2013 19:41

People will always make comments on the size and gender of your family, I used to get "are you going to try for a boy next time" when I "got" the boy I got "that's you you can stop now you have your boy" Blush

Just now I'm getting a lot of "you going to try for number 5 now DS is going to nursery".

People just open their mouths and comment. I have a friend with one DD can't have anymore keeps getting asked when she's having number two Hmm

thermalsinapril · 21/04/2013 20:43

YANBU. There are a million other ways of making conversation, so there's no need for people to ask such a nosy, personal question.

Original poster
mylittlepuds · 21/04/2013 20:59

It's so weird! Honestly - i'm not exaggerating. All close family members and at least five friends. The family comments more centre on DH having the snip whereas friends really seem to want to know if we want any more children. Why?! Yes maybe convo over a meal out, if it came up. But a week after you've given birth? I personally think it's a rude question at any time though...

OP posts:
Shiraztastic · 21/04/2013 21:01

YANBU

thermalsinapril · 21/04/2013 21:07

You could hand the question back to anyone who asks, and say "I don't know. How about you?"

wannabedomesticgoddess · 21/04/2013 21:13

YANBU.

DPs "friend" and his partner came in the other day (uninvited no less) and in the course of the conversation we were asked if we were being more careful now? And was DP getting the snip.

DD2 (DD1 is mine with my ex) was very much planned. I am on the pill now and we havent ruled out having another, money permitting.

But we were both so fuming we sat there laughing along hollowly.

Original poster
mylittlepuds · 21/04/2013 21:14

Ooh thernal! I like!

OP posts:
McNewPants2013 · 21/04/2013 21:18

tell them to aspire to beat the dugger family

pamelat · 21/04/2013 21:18

You should say that you've probably had enough with the current dad ;)

TigerSwallowTail · 21/04/2013 21:24

I'm only 35 weeks pregnant with my second and I have people asking me that already; "is that you done now?", "are you having any more?", and the most recent "why didn't you just buy a book?" Aside from this pregnancy I only have one other dc.

YouDontWinFriendsWithSalad · 21/04/2013 21:24

wannabe that is fecking cheeky! Did they want you to go over your contraceptive choices with them?

I remember sitting with my 4-day-old baby and someone asking me "when are you going to have another?" I was shell shocked and sore and tired and I think I just gaped in horror.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 21/04/2013 21:30

My aunt used to ask me when I was single if I would be having anymore. Shes a dick though. She has said worse.

ENormaSnob · 21/04/2013 21:34

My dc4 is 12days old and we keep gettin asked the same.

Alongside comments about his name I am rapidly getting pissed off.

Yanbu

Congratulations btw Flowers

YouTheCat · 21/04/2013 21:36

I got asked when I was having another 2 weeks after having twins. I thought they were joking. Hmm

DoJo · 21/04/2013 21:40

When I was discharged from hospital after giving birth to my son the midwife cheerily said 'See you again in a couple of years' as she handed me all the paperwork. At the time, I was completely Shock but I have found myself much more broody for a second than I ever was for my first.

Snazzynewyear · 21/04/2013 21:40

I was asked less than 24 hours after having DS whether I would have another Hmm At the moment he is still an only child Grin

Original poster
mylittlepuds · 21/04/2013 21:41

Today a friend came round and asked "Is that you done then?" then when I said "ooh I don't know" even though my hospital food is not fully digested she then wasn't happy with that and later said "do do you think you'll stop at three?". Why why why???? I honestly don't get it.

OP posts: