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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think kids watching tv is a bit of a waste of their life?

316 replies

Amykins35 · 21/04/2013 13:14

My daughter is 5 and her father and I are separated. When she has contact, she usually watches at least 5 films over the course of a weekend. On the other hand, here we used to go to the cinema on some of my weekends before her baby sister was born and that was the only thing she watched. We didn't even have a TV at home until 4 months ago. In the winter we had a film night on my Fridays where we baked cakes then snuggled on the sofa with teddies to watch a film and eat our cakes. But now the weather is finally brightening up we'll be going to the park/walking the dog/playing in the garden on those Fridays and so she probably won't watch anything here til next winter.
I read a few weeks ago that kids in the UK watch an average of 3 hours tv per day and that makes me sad as I really do think its a waste of their lives. Also, I don't understand where people find time for their kids to watch tv - my daughter goes to bed much later than her friends but we still run out of time to do everything she/we wanted to do. A typical day is:
7.30: she wakes up and gets ready while playing with DD2
7.45: breakfast
8.00: leave to walk/scoot/bike 2 miles to school

After school:
I usually drive to collect her so we can pop home for a snack before after school activities which usually finish at 6. She then plays/draws/reads while I cook tea, tea usually finished by 7 when we walk the dog, back home for homework, bath, stories and bed usually around 8.45.

There just isn't time in the day for tv and I don't understand where people find the time for it. If DD isn't doing an activity she likes to trampoline/paint/have tea parties etc after school and I think the amount of TV she watches at her fathers is a waste of his contact time. Before I get flamed and told my DD needs to rest and relax which may be why she watches TV at her dads - drawing and listening to stories are relaxing too. My DD never asks to watch TV here even if worn out - which is very rare indeed! AIBU to think watching TV is a bit of a waste of children's lives when there are so many more fun things they could be doing?

OP posts:
shallweshop · 21/04/2013 22:00

My two DC love to do all the things your child does but they also like relaxing and watching a bit of tv too. It's not a waste of life its a part of life.

shallweshop · 21/04/2013 22:04

Leepy - maybe that is the point of the OP's post but it doesn't really come across like that as she just goes into so much detail about what she does with her DD and doesn't refer to what the father does but says 'I don't understand where people find the time for it'.

wonderingagain · 21/04/2013 22:06

5 films in 2 days is too much. That is your issue isn't it?

theweekendisnear · 21/04/2013 22:09

I completely agree with you, OP. I admire you and your energy.

However, for my own benefit, my DC are allowed to watch TV for a limited amount of time a day (about one hour), but sometimes there isn't time even for that. I think that some programs are quite good ( horrible histories, bang goes the theory, some history programs on vikings, romans, egyptians - my DC are 11 and 8)

However, I agree with you that sometime it's too easy to leave the TV on so the kids are entertained with it for hours.

I hated having to pay the childminder lots of money and knowing that my DC would be watching TV for quite some time , starting from the morning. My son loved it, so it made dropping off at the childminder very easy and with no tears, but I really didnt like the childminder having the TV on at 8 in the morning. We didnt need childminding for many weeks, so I didnt try to find a different childminder.

GladbagsGold · 21/04/2013 22:10

Why don't you ask your ex to switch off the TV set, and do something less boring instead, why don't you?

yaimee · 21/04/2013 22:11

If that were the only point of the ops post then why did she include the list of activities? It definitely comes across as a not very stealthy boast!

Jinty64 · 21/04/2013 22:13

forevergreek after being at breakfast club, school and after school club from 8am-6pm my ds has as much desire to cook as I do. Fortunately, for him, it's optional.

shockers · 21/04/2013 22:25

gladbags... you must be as old as me Grin.

We, as a family, watched more TV and DVDs when the children were younger. They never really watched on their own.

Now they're older, the TV is probably on for 3/4 hours during the evening at weekends, and a couple of hours on week nights for DH and me. This is only because we have little time to sit down together like we used to.

That said, we do watch more in winter than in summer.

and we never miss Casualty if we can help it

IntheFrame · 21/04/2013 22:31

But the op doesn't do that much!! Most of it is extra curricular or walking.Not sure what the father is supposed to do really - TV is the only thing her DD doesn't do with mummy.

McNewPants2013 · 21/04/2013 22:41

TV is my saviour, if the TV blew up i would sell my dishwasher to get a new one.

you see my DS wouldnt fit in with your family, because the only thing that means i get time to cook and clean and spend time with DD is to put on the tv. DS is has austism and that is one of the few things that keeps him on 1 task long enough for me to do it

hairtearing · 21/04/2013 22:43

What about kids who don't have gardens and live in rough areas?

Original poster
Amykins35 · 21/04/2013 22:44

Firstly - I don't have a nanny, I am a nanny for a 2 and 3 year old.
If you reckon 'my poor DD' is so worn out on contact weekends which is which she watches so much TV, why is it that on my weekends she has a million things she wants to do - none of which arewatching TV? Also when she's gone 6-8 weeks between contact because ex was away she hasn't crashed and burned from lack of TV.
Regarding bedtime: she gets 11 hours sleep which is plenty for her age.

OP posts:
5318008 · 21/04/2013 22:52

all of this flim flam about I do this with her and I do that with her - the issue is that her father cba to do owt himself, isn't it

5 DVDs over a weekend is four too many

YANBU

theweekendisnear · 21/04/2013 22:54

And, I don't understand why the children are watching films while at holiday club, during school breaks, or at school during school time. I understand if it's a film on a topic that will be discussed, but most of the time it is to fill half an hour, and the children do not even get to see the whole movie, which must be annoying for the kids.

I do however recognise the goodness of a dvd on the way back from a school trip, on the coach, when the children are exhausted.

IntheFrame · 21/04/2013 22:56

But op you are a nanny and therefore have a skills set and resources that match that. He is a part time father that probably hasn't a clue how to entertain a small child or any inclination to do drawing/painting/dressing up. He may be rubbish at childcare but there you go.

McNewPants2013 · 21/04/2013 22:56

but why an arange dvd last approx 1hour 30 minutes which is 7.5 hours out of 48 hours which leaves 18.5 hours. ( taken out 22 hours for sleep)

McNewPants2013 · 21/04/2013 22:57

so OP what is your DD doing for these 18.5 hours

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell · 21/04/2013 22:59

Ok op, you are Practically Perfect in Every Way, your ex may not be. (Different standards).

Is that what you wanted from this thread?

Original poster
Amykins35 · 21/04/2013 23:01

Yes I do think her father lets her watch way too much - they watch a film while having breakfast and tea which are two of the best times for just chatting in my opinion. He seems to think like some posters here that he can't shower/cook etc without DD in front of TV. On weekdays I shower before she wakes but at weekends/in holidays she usually plays with her dolls house/prepares a Teddy bear tea party and helps with cooking while DD2 is in her bouncer.

OP posts:
formicaqueen · 21/04/2013 23:02

Thankfully like some other kids we know, my kids have minimal screen time. In total they have between three and four hours a week. They sometimes spend a little screen time doing activities on the wii, sometimes watch a film (with popcorn !!) and then occasionally some nature programme on Iplayer. We gave up our TV licence soon after watching a couple of episodes of Tracy Beaker and other kiddie trash. Also I couldn't watch even one more episode of come dine with me!!

As a child we watched TONS of TV and I remember I felt life was slipping way, meaningless and boring. Obviously there are some very interesting things to watch these days but we don't get round to watching it all - only the best bits. Also we can't afford tons of after school activities, only a couple each.

If they are exhausted we might stick a film on or they might cuddle up and read a book. If we are ill, the TV is on till I want to throw a brick at it!!

McNewPants2013 · 21/04/2013 23:04

Ok amykins, So as a nanny what do you suggest I do with ds while i cook and clean and spend time with DD

tvmum1976 · 21/04/2013 23:05

i was hardly allowed any TV as a young kid and feel I missed out a lot. Missing lots of cultural references my friends have- tons of gaps in my popular culture knowledge etc.

ExRatty · 21/04/2013 23:06

I like children's tv.
My current favorites are New Ben and Holly and Phineus and Ferb.
I hate bloody Art Attack and would have it blocked if I could as it is the source of much blardy hateful crafting and art.

I think you D will enjoy both styles of parenting she receives. It is nice that she gets to do both

Original poster
Amykins35 · 21/04/2013 23:07

4 of those 18.5 hours are traveling time when she plays on his iPhone. She goes to her grandparents most Sundays

OP posts:
Original poster
Amykins35 · 21/04/2013 23:09

NewPants - how old are your children?

OP posts: