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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think kids watching tv is a bit of a waste of their life?

316 replies

Amykins35 · 21/04/2013 13:14

My daughter is 5 and her father and I are separated. When she has contact, she usually watches at least 5 films over the course of a weekend. On the other hand, here we used to go to the cinema on some of my weekends before her baby sister was born and that was the only thing she watched. We didn't even have a TV at home until 4 months ago. In the winter we had a film night on my Fridays where we baked cakes then snuggled on the sofa with teddies to watch a film and eat our cakes. But now the weather is finally brightening up we'll be going to the park/walking the dog/playing in the garden on those Fridays and so she probably won't watch anything here til next winter.
I read a few weeks ago that kids in the UK watch an average of 3 hours tv per day and that makes me sad as I really do think its a waste of their lives. Also, I don't understand where people find time for their kids to watch tv - my daughter goes to bed much later than her friends but we still run out of time to do everything she/we wanted to do. A typical day is:
7.30: she wakes up and gets ready while playing with DD2
7.45: breakfast
8.00: leave to walk/scoot/bike 2 miles to school

After school:
I usually drive to collect her so we can pop home for a snack before after school activities which usually finish at 6. She then plays/draws/reads while I cook tea, tea usually finished by 7 when we walk the dog, back home for homework, bath, stories and bed usually around 8.45.

There just isn't time in the day for tv and I don't understand where people find the time for it. If DD isn't doing an activity she likes to trampoline/paint/have tea parties etc after school and I think the amount of TV she watches at her fathers is a waste of his contact time. Before I get flamed and told my DD needs to rest and relax which may be why she watches TV at her dads - drawing and listening to stories are relaxing too. My DD never asks to watch TV here even if worn out - which is very rare indeed! AIBU to think watching TV is a bit of a waste of children's lives when there are so many more fun things they could be doing?

OP posts:
cantspel · 21/04/2013 17:39

Amy You must have wasted at least 5 minutes of your life writing that op. Surely your time would have been better spent learning russian/cleaning out the cat tray or baking oat cakes?

fuzzpig · 21/04/2013 17:45

My DCs watch too much TV (my health doesn't currently allow for much else) but they are asleep by 7.15 thank you very much :o

nettlefairy · 21/04/2013 17:49

I see both sides of the argument - I love telly but its like potatoes - great as part of a diet but I wouldn't want it to be the only thing my kid ate. I think TV becomes a problem when it's always the first thing your child wants to do when they have free time. Kids no longer have any reason to be bored and for some kids, being bored is when they get creative. On the other hand, some kids can watch a lot and still have the energy and enthusiasm to draw, play and whatever else we did when there wasn't 24/7 telly and others seem to turn into tired slumpy things slowly dripping down the edge of the sofa.

orangeandlemons · 21/04/2013 17:51

I never watch tv.

For ds, it was his life source. He loved watching it as much as possible....he's still gone to university, reads all the time and is a pretty rounded individual.

As for dd, well I'm with the poster above, I wish she.d bloody watch it to give me a bit of peace

cocolepew · 21/04/2013 17:52

I hate it when people say 'climbing into bed for cuddles'. Or 'snuggled on the sofa'.
Just though I'd share.

everlong · 21/04/2013 18:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bunbaker · 21/04/2013 18:31

"some kids can watch a lot and still have the energy and enthusiasm to draw, play and whatever else we did when there wasn't 24/7 telly"

That sounds like DD. She loves having the TV on, but often does stuff while it is on. She is very creative and her art teacher at school has just told her that the last homework she handed in was the best in her year at school (her art teacher teaches 6 classes of year 8s).

I sometimes wonder if she has the TV on for company because she is an only child and doesn't like sitting in silence.

MrsHelsBels74 · 21/04/2013 19:01

OP is definitely Smug McSmug of Smugness Hill.

Some days we watch TV all day, some days we don't. DS1 is a confident, intelligent, sociable 3yo despite the TV's evil influence.

We all do things differently, and I don't personally think anything you enjoy doing that makes you feel happy/relaxed etc is ever a waste of time.

imour · 21/04/2013 19:10

sounds like you both lead a very busy life , too busy maybe , people like to chill and watch tv ,surprised you had time to post this !

BrittaPie · 21/04/2013 19:20

Mine hardly watch tv - the only time is when I need to put them on "pause" for a minute - usually if they are pestering me while I am doing something unavoidable, or if they are really tired or ill, or for a weekend treat. Maybe one film a week, and about three separate bursts of about half an hour on cbeebies.

I agree that there just isn't time for 3 hours on a school day - we get home somewhere between 3 and 4, then there is faffing about getting into normal clothes chatting about the day etc, then an hour or so playing either out (if it isn't raining) or in, then teatime/homework/activity, then a burst of playing, maybe a bath, get ready for bed, reading time, lights out at 7:30. Even with no playing, that only makes about two hours.

In the morning, we wake up at 7, have half an hour in my bed sleeping chatting, half an hour for breakfast, half an hour to get dressed, do hair, find reading books, then out of the door. So no time there either.

Snog · 21/04/2013 19:20

Several of my cousins were brought up in no TV households which was an experience that alienated them from their peers once they were at school.

Equally watching a lot of TV is bad for kids on so many levels imo.

There is a happy medium though!

BrittaPie · 21/04/2013 19:20

No smugness here - it isn't like they are composing piano concertos. They are just being 6 and 3.

ChocsAwayInMyGob · 21/04/2013 19:24

Did I read that right? the OP has a nanny?

giveitago · 21/04/2013 19:24

Franca - that IS evil!

Skellig · 21/04/2013 19:47

All I know I learn from telly.
The bigger the telly, the smarter the man.
You can tell from my big telly
What a very clever fellow I am.

:)

crashdoll · 21/04/2013 19:50

Smug, stealth boast and TV bashing in one post.

HearMyRoar · 21/04/2013 19:50

I didn't have a TV as a kid, still don't. I'm now desperately trying to remember if I was one of these awful children people keep mentioning who just went round friends to watch their TV. Confused

Though dd will be OK thankfully as even without a TV she watches at least 1 or 2 episodes of bagpuss (she's only 1 and addicted) a day and a horrible histories every week (OK so that's mainly for me). Thank heavens for iPlayer :o

IntheFrame · 21/04/2013 19:57

ChocsAwayInMyGob

No, op IS a nanny.

In my experience that is enough to make you put your own in front of the TV most of the time.

Bunbaker · 21/04/2013 20:02

We grew up without a TV because my mum thought they were a "Bad Thing". I hated it when all the other kids at school talked about what they had seen on TV the previous evening/weekend, and yes, we were made to feel a bit odd.

We eventually got one when I was in my last year at primary school and of course, my sister and I were glued to it when children's TV was on. In those days there was Watch With Mother for about 20 minutes at lunchtime and about two hours between 4 and 6pm on weekdays and that was it. Saturday afternoons had sport on all three channels - yes only three channels, I am that old.

crashdoll · 21/04/2013 20:11

I was a nanny. Not one of the families I worked for were particularly fussed about me letting their child watch TV. In fact, they all suggested it. Many children, particularly under 5s, get cranky being entertained all day and just want 20 mins to sing along to Cbeebies. It's not a waste, it's how they relax. I relax on the laptop or reading. Relaxing is never a waste of time! :)

Naebother · 21/04/2013 20:47

Yabu of course.

Cbeebies is fantastically well made tv especially for under 6s.

Why would you not take advantage of that resource?

maillotjaune · 21/04/2013 21:36

Horrible Histories got DS2 interested in history. He now reads loads more than he used to as he has found a topic he is interested in (he's less keen on reading fiction).

DS3 has been playing 'penguins' a lot since watching some of the Spy In The Huddle documentaries. He has chosen books about penguins from the library too, and renewed his interest in Octonauts as a result.

DS1 can hardly take his nose out of a book long enough to look at TV.

None of this is glazed eyed snack shovelling couch potato stuff is it? Just a part of their lives - education in part yes, but equally important entertainment and relaxation. Lighten up a bit and I won't bother to comment on your late bedtimeWink Wink

Astr0naut · 21/04/2013 21:51

DS has one off Cbeebies a bit lately, although when he bounds in to our bedroom at 6 am every fucking weekend, it goes on. Dh has also got him into Power Rangers and Batman somethign or other

He now wants to play Angry Birds on my phone all the time instead.

He's 3. I should probably know better, but he enjoys it and there's only so much swimming, playing in tents, baking and standing joylessly outside for 3 hours while he plays with his mates in the close, that an adult should be expected to cope with.

DD (18 months) will not be learning to play Angry Birds, as I cannot cope with the arguing.

Astr0naut · 21/04/2013 21:51

That's 'gone off' and 'somethign' in case anyone thinks an 80's childhood of He-man and Dogtanian have done for my education.

LeepyTime · 21/04/2013 21:55

I think everyone is missing the OPs point, which I think is that the time when her daughter should be spending quality time with her father, she seems to just be watching tv. So it massively decreases their interaction time together, talking about their lives etc. I know they can still talk, but with half an ear/eye on the tv it just isn't the same as undivided attention.
I see no harm in some tv, and a cosy up on the couch, but if it is the only thing they do then the dad is missing out on a lot of richness in her life, enjoying other activities with her etc.