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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think kids watching tv is a bit of a waste of their life?

316 replies

Amykins35 · 21/04/2013 13:14

My daughter is 5 and her father and I are separated. When she has contact, she usually watches at least 5 films over the course of a weekend. On the other hand, here we used to go to the cinema on some of my weekends before her baby sister was born and that was the only thing she watched. We didn't even have a TV at home until 4 months ago. In the winter we had a film night on my Fridays where we baked cakes then snuggled on the sofa with teddies to watch a film and eat our cakes. But now the weather is finally brightening up we'll be going to the park/walking the dog/playing in the garden on those Fridays and so she probably won't watch anything here til next winter.
I read a few weeks ago that kids in the UK watch an average of 3 hours tv per day and that makes me sad as I really do think its a waste of their lives. Also, I don't understand where people find time for their kids to watch tv - my daughter goes to bed much later than her friends but we still run out of time to do everything she/we wanted to do. A typical day is:
7.30: she wakes up and gets ready while playing with DD2
7.45: breakfast
8.00: leave to walk/scoot/bike 2 miles to school

After school:
I usually drive to collect her so we can pop home for a snack before after school activities which usually finish at 6. She then plays/draws/reads while I cook tea, tea usually finished by 7 when we walk the dog, back home for homework, bath, stories and bed usually around 8.45.

There just isn't time in the day for tv and I don't understand where people find the time for it. If DD isn't doing an activity she likes to trampoline/paint/have tea parties etc after school and I think the amount of TV she watches at her fathers is a waste of his contact time. Before I get flamed and told my DD needs to rest and relax which may be why she watches TV at her dads - drawing and listening to stories are relaxing too. My DD never asks to watch TV here even if worn out - which is very rare indeed! AIBU to think watching TV is a bit of a waste of children's lives when there are so many more fun things they could be doing?

OP posts:
Shelly32 · 21/04/2013 15:50

We mix and match. The girls get lots of outdoor time, loads of indoor play including family games, lots of reading and learning time and yes, they watch T.V too. Programmes like Aphablocks and Numtums are brilliant for learning and I find family films etc throw up tons of questions They are curious girls anyway but they've not had much experience of dinosaurs and I know the family film 'Jurassic Park' in a few minutes, is going to get them asking and learning a lot.

squoosh · 21/04/2013 15:54

thoroughlymodernmillie

'My two (8&9) do a lot of activities. On a good day they will sit and watch re runs of midsumer murders (the eldest loves John Nettles)'

That made me chuckle, I did not know that John Nettles had an under 10s fan base!

LunaticFringe · 21/04/2013 15:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MousyMouse · 21/04/2013 16:08

yanbu (sort of)
tv has it's place and a little bit won't harm imo, esp if the dc get plenty of other activities as well.
my dc are allowed half an hour screen time during the week (helps me prepare dinner without being tripped up) and 2 hours on weekends.
5 films on one weekend is very excessive, though. that doesn't leave much time for gong to the park or just simply playing.

missmapp · 21/04/2013 16:09

Today my ds' have

woken up, watched a bit of telly while dh and i woke up
been to football training
played in the garden
ridden their bikes
ds1 gone to St George's Day parade for cubs
ds2 been to the garden centre with me, chosen and helped plant new plants .
More playing in the garden
ds1 has started his homework and termly project
ds2 has finished his reading and spelling
They are now watching a film.
It is their wind down time at the end of a weekend and I think thats fine.

Yes, TV can be a waste, but we all need a bit of relaxation, and my two only stop when they are watching telly!!

Balance is all - oh and that every one is different!!

bugster · 21/04/2013 16:11

As far as TV is concerned YANBU. I am a TV hater. I think just about anything else is more worthwhile for a child than watching TV. Inespecially can't stand it being on as background noise when noone is watching it.

However my children do occasionally watch something - more likely a DVD than TV - because they can't always do worthwhile things and noone's perfect.

forevergreek · 21/04/2013 16:12

Can a 6 year old really not entertain himself alone whilst you wash up?

Those who need tv for 5 year old so they can cook, can't they join in? Chop a mushroom/ lay table/ mix something?

If you/ they want to watch tv fair enough, but not managing to wash/ cook/ breathe because a school age children won't let you is crazy. My 2 year old can stand on a stool with a spoon and help make dinner, and will play or 'help' wash up etc. if you need a 2 year old out the way fine, but 5/6 year olds??

zeeboo · 21/04/2013 16:13

I prefer stealth brags when the op actually bothers to try and be stealthy. Hmm

MrsMacFarlane · 21/04/2013 16:16

You get humblebragging as well. X Factor contestants do a lot of it. Anyway, back on topic. IMHO the OP is smugger than a smug gold medallist at a smug convention.

MajaBiene · 21/04/2013 16:22

My 2 year old probably watches a couple of hours of TV a day, first thing in the morning and before dinner in the evening. More on the weekends.

He does plenty of other things too though - playing, swimming, nursery, the park - so it doesn't bother me.

Shelly32 · 21/04/2013 16:24

forevergreek Agreed that things like cooking can be joined in with. Marking thirty Y9 books can't and toddlers/children really don't let you do this.

squoosh · 21/04/2013 16:25

I like a brag brag. None of this fannying around with stealth or humble.

'I have two Bentleys, three homes, seven domestic staff and an array of handsome lovers. Beat that sucka!'

MajaBiene · 21/04/2013 16:27

Also I am pretty hungover today so an afternoon of lying in bed with DS watching movies and eating sweets is all I can manage Grin

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell · 21/04/2013 16:31

Perhaps you should start a blog op?

Flowers Screen-free-Mumzees, cupcakes and cycle rides and back home to make pasta necklaces. Thanks

Tee2072 · 21/04/2013 16:32

Well, my child just made apple sauce to go with our gammon in coke, all by himself.

He's been visited by Michelin and we are expecting our 4th star any day now. Just for our kitchen, you understand, we don't own a restaurant or anything.

He's also putting the finishing touches on his 3rd novel, the first 2 of which were best sellers. In 300 languages, including some that had no written alphabet until they had to have my son's books in them.

He's nearly 4.

carriedawayannie · 21/04/2013 16:32

It is a waste of time. Is that a bad thing? I love having leisure time to waste. Isn't that normal? Who doesn't love relaxing and wasting time?

As long as my dc are active and interested in many different things then I don't care how they spend their leisure time. Its their choice and I think it would be very unhealthy to micro manage their time.

5yo dd1 does swimming and rainbows as after school activities. She loves playing out the back, riding her bike/scooter, baking , painting, drawing and much prefers being out than being in.

Today we have been out to the park for a picnic and play and she has been out bike riding with her dad. In between that she has been free to switch the TV on as she chooses. She watched 20 mins this morning and then stated to watch Cinderella when we got back from park but she must have got bored because she has spend the rest of the day out the back building a den with her 2yo sister.

I think the most important she is that she her teaching her herself self regulation. Its ok to impose strict limits on children's screen times when they are young and you can micro manage their movements. But when they older they will have access to screens and they have to be able to self regulate.

I do wonder how the children who have no access to screens will cope when they have the freedom to watch TV all day.

carriedawayannie · 21/04/2013 16:34

Angry @ typos on ipad.

MrsMacFarlane · 21/04/2013 16:35

We had neighbours who didn't have a TV on principle. Their kids went to Steiners, not sure if that's connected but whenever they came into our house they were like flies stuck on toffee staring at the screen and wouldn't play with my DCs cause they wanted to stoke up as much "evil telly" as they could. Her DH was always hanging about if there was a Major Sporting Event being televised as well and would turn up at the door, six pack in hand and expect to come in and watch it. It really got on my nerves and I eventually snapped and said "just buy a fucking telly why don't you?". They moved soon after...

Francagoestohollywood · 21/04/2013 16:36

It surely depends on the age of a child and the quality of tv programs?

Honestly, I could watch hrs and hrs of tv when we lived in the UK and I didn't mind if the children watched 1 hr of Charlie and Lola or the likes!

Now that we are in Italy and general tv is crap, we don't watch it. We download or buy dvds of movies and series etc, basically we choose what we watch (and evil mother makes the dc watch things in English Grin).

IntheFrame · 21/04/2013 16:45

Mmm-but the Op isn't actually doing much with her DC's apart from walking the dog.

Most of her DC time is spent walking (to school,the dog) or in activities.

There doesn't seem to be much time for TV except for the weekend when her Dad has her. She is probably very grateful...

feralgirl · 21/04/2013 16:56

I don't really understand what exactly is supposed to happen to children who watch "too much" TV. I watched LOADS when I was young (I was a latchkey kid and I used to just watch telly and eat biscuits for hours until my parents got home) and I still managed to do really well at school and not be fat. DS is 4 and probably watches an hour or so of TV every day - more when DH is in charge - but he does loads of other stuff as well and hasn't turned into an angry fat idiot.

I hate the idea of the OP's "after school activities that finish at 6" for DS; that seems way too much for a 5 year old. I'd much rather DS was loafing around the house with us, chatting and maybe watching TV, playing in the garden or helping cook tea.

There was an interesting article about the benefits of kids having time to zone out in front of the box in The Guardian (so it must be true) a couple of weeks ago but I can't find it online.

yaimee · 21/04/2013 16:57

Sorry, couldn't read the op as I was blinded by the sun shining out of your arse.

feralgirl · 21/04/2013 17:00

found it Smile

BegoniaBampot · 21/04/2013 17:32

hate the Tv being on all day as background noise with no-one watching it, specially with all the drivel that's on - makes my teeth itch. my kids do watch tv though, probably more than I often like and computer games - they also do loads of sports.

shushpenfold · 21/04/2013 17:38

It is unless you have 3 kids who have been at school for 6 days this week, have done prep this morning and were so knackered/catatonic that TV is the perfect solution......